Love Is Like A Rock

I’ve been staying at my mom’s on and off during her recovery. Recently, we watched the movie “Hope Springs” together. Have you seen it? The movie stars Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones in a marriage gone stale. It was quite the interesting story if you ask me.

Without giving too much away, Meryl Streep decides after 31 years of marriage (and separate bedrooms), she wants more. Tired of no intimacy and the same routine day in and day out, she decides to challenge the status quo and sign up for a marriage enrichment program in a town called Hope Springs. Her husband says he is not going, blah blah blah, but (much to Meryl’s delight) he shows up for the plane departure.

Husband Tommy has plenty of money but they stay at the EconoLodge. He sleeps on the pull out couch while Meryl sleeps in the bed. The poor psychologist has his work cut out for himself as Tommy flings verbal hatred at him. But I know what’s really going on. Poor ol’ Tommy is in deep seated fear. Fear of change. Fear of feeling real love.

I know there are many troubled marriages and relationships in the world. I’m sure this movie caused some people to squirm in their seats. I am one of the lucky ones. I felt no uncomfortable-ness. I “hoped” for them and the repair of their marriage.

My Favorite Picture of Jim and I! Taken by my sister, Cally Jamis Vennare

My Favorite Picture of Jim and Me! Taken by my sister, Cally Jamis Vennare

Jim and I certainly do not have the perfect relationship. We are only human and only God is perfect. We do however, have the “tools in our toolbox” to work most issues out. And we have had some big issues in the nearly 33 years of being together.

As any couple in a long term relationship will tell you, it is not about who is squeezing the toothpaste tube from the bottom or who makes the bed better. A couple who has been together for a while knows how to pick their battles. The real secret to relationship happiness, I’ve come to believe, is not to lose yourself in the process.

Though my marriage has been through many ups and downs over the years, there was a period about seven years ago when I finally became comfortable with who I was. At that point, my unreasonable expectations of Jim fell away. I was responsible for myself and he was stuck loving me the way I was. Thankfully, he loves me as I am. And I love him for who he is.

I believe this unconditional love is the secret to happiness…in anything. Point my finger, tell you how to do it better and I make you miserable. Focus on myself and what my needs are and my life becomes my responsibility. Focusing on what my husband may or may not be doing is not the answer. Loving him for who he realistically is….this is the secret to a happy marriage.

When my mom was ill in the hospital this past winter, Jim was my rock. He endured my tears, fears, tantrums and joys. He was there every step of the way. I called him My Rock on numerous occasions and I still believe this. Without him to lean on, I would have been lost.

On May 10, Jim and I were married 32 years. May you be blessed to have (or to have had) someone in your life, spouse or likewise, who means as much to you. I believe in my heart we are all worthy of unconditional love, not only from others but especially from the God of our own understanding.

Welcome Daily Prompt Readers! Is there someone in your life who is your rock? It doesn’t have to be a spouse! Who can you be yourself with but yet lean on in times of stress?

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27 thoughts on “Love Is Like A Rock

  1. Cathy McElhaney

    Oh wow, Joanne! I call Don ‘my rock’, too. We have been through a lot lately. July 23 we will celebrate 30 years of marriage. I don’t know where I would be without him, but I am sure it would not be where I am today!
    My sister in law once told me about an article she read about a couple who had been married for many years. The wife was asked what their ‘secret’ was. She said “When we got married, I decided to make a list of 10 things that I would forgive. Anytime he made me mad I would say ‘he’s lucky that’s one of the 10!'”…ha ha! I thought that was cute and it keeps the humor in it all.You are right…none of us is perfect, but I believe some of us are perfect for each other. Congratulations on 32 years! In this day that is quite an accomplishment!

    Reply
  2. Linda McCoy

    Congratulations on your upcoming Anniversary. I love you both. I have the greatest cousins in the world. I can not Thank you enough for being a Rock for my mom. Especially Michelene. I have found my Rock after 60 years old. Ric is my best friend, lover, and all around wonderful man. We do not expect anything from one another. He does his thing and i do mine. We meet in the middle. We love one another unconditionally. I could not be happier in my life right now. Love you all Linda

    Reply
    1. Katherine's Daughter

      I am so happy you found your rock, Linda. We are all so happy for you! We are also happy to be a part of your mom’s life as she has been such a huge part of ours. Thank you for your comment! xo

      Reply
  3. Marianne

    Happy Anniversary, Joanne! My mother was always my rock, now my sister…but I have discovered that no person can always be there when you really need them. Situations change, but God is changeless. But I will admit that it’s very difficult at times because I’m also physical and God isn’t…so I have smaller rocks for different things.

    Blessings for 32 more,
    Marianne xo

    Reply
  4. Sunday's Child (trying to be full of grace).

    Reading about your lovely union, makes me all warm and gooshy inside. I love the respect I hear slipping through the lines. I love the little school girl crush I can hear tumbling off the page. Here’s to you and your Mr. Right! May you celebrate each other for many, many, more years to come. Cheers! and hugs from the left coast too!

    Reply
    1. Katherine's Daughter

      HI Daleen! Prayers and blessings your way. You and Mr. Right have the same “rock” relationship; I can tell from your beautiful blog stories. Thank you for your blessings on our upcoming anniversary! xo Joanne

      Reply
  5. Gallivanta

    Blessings, blessings. blessings as you head towards your 32nd wedding anniversary. No human relationship is perfect; it would be so boring if it were. I am glad you have each other.

    Reply
  6. cindy

    Congratulations on your up and coming anniversary!! What a great tribute to “you” as a couple and what a gift to your children and family as well! Jim and I will be married 43 yrs. come this July!! It wasn’t all easy, but by the” Grace of God ” neither one of us ever entertained the thought of “not accepting” each other & all the imperfections that come with being human! (maybe argued about them…haha)! I love the quote….”You can give without loving, but you can never “love” without giving!” I know in my 43 years, we would not had made it wothout alot of giving(in many different ways) by both of us! I think that is what it is all about! Again, congratulations and blessings for many more years of “love!” …the best is yet to come!

    Reply
  7. aleafinspringtime

    Congratulations Joanne & Jim! Thank you for sharing with us the secret and success of 33 years of life together. Your story warmed my heart. Many blessings for a lifetime of happiness and even greater joys together! Sharon p.s. I did watch Hope Springs with my husband and thought it was a great performance by these two veteran actors. 😀

    Reply
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  13. maggiemq

    My four big rocks are my mom, dad, sister and my boyfriend. Those are the people who stand by my side, behind me and in front of me when I need it the most.
    I’m lucky to have had my parents to guide me to the right directions for me.
    I hope I’ll have them for a long time in the future as well.

    Best wishes for your mom. I’ll send some good vibes from Norway 🙂

    Reply
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  16. moondustwriter

    When God gives us that complement you can see it in big and little things. I am blessed to have been given that gift – my husband is a daily joy.

    thanks for sharing

    Reply
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