Jim and I Celebrate 40 Years of Marriage

I remember the day like it was yesterday. It was May 10, 1980 and I was at the VIP in Baden. Having just arrived, I turned down an offer to dance with my girlfriends and instead decided to sit down for a few minutes. I was wearing light green Calvin Klein jeans and a silky top.

In those days, I was selling cars at my dad’s Nissan dealership. I drove a 280Z to the VIP that night. But I’d worked all day and I’m sure I was just relaxing until the desire to dance kicked in.

A Nissan 280Z. Wow, what a car. Source.

At this same moment, my future husband saw me from across the room, sitting by myself at an otherwise empty table full of drink glasses. He later said, “I could have heard a pin drop.”

He came to the table and asked if we could talk. I told him to “keep walking.” I watched him circle the big room and come back to me again. This time, my Greek instinct for hospitality kicked in and I told him to sit down.

We spent the whole evening together. He wasn’t a dancer but we talked and played pin ball together (I love pin ball). He said he’d walk me to my car and on the way out, he picked up his fedora to go with the minty green leisure suit he was wearing.

As I arrived at my car, he asked if I’d like to do something fun. I said ok and gave him my work phone number. He called me every day for a month and I consistently gave him excuses why I couldn’t go out.

Finally he told me he was going to stop calling me if we didn’t get together. I agreed and we had a fabulous time. We went to Kennywood and a nice Italian restaurant called Pompeo’s. Six months later we were engaged. One year later, to the day, we were married.

Our rehearsal dinner was at my parent’s house, complete with a roast lamb on a spit. My mom and my aunts went over the top with all their Greek specialties- pastichio, stuffed grape leaves, and homemade pastries. My dad manned the bar with shots of ouzo for all.

The day we were married, May 10, 1981, was a Sunday and it was Mother’s Day. I remember my Greek Orthodox priest, Father Kiramarios, saying it was a day to honor all women. We had a big Greek wedding with lots of friends, a big cake from Keystone Bakery, and a three piece bouzouki band. The Barlamas family catered and everyone had a huge baked chicken dinner. My godparents and their family came from Charleston, SC. It was a day to remember.

Photography by Dan McConnell. Loved that beautiful cake by Keystone Bakery!

Six months later I was pregnant with my daughter, Michelene, and four years later my son John was born. Now we have two beautiful grandchildren, Gavin and Penelope Katherine.

The marriage ceremony in the Greek Orthodox church is especially beautiful. To Jim and I, marriage is sacred- a vow between two people, in front of God, to love and cherish each other. It is not to be taken lightly. In my career choice as a wedding planner, I always try to keep this in mind when I am helping my couples.

To have been married on Mother’s Day is a great blessing. When the time comes around each year, it is as though I am doubly blessed to have both so close together. My feeling about marriage is this- love one another, work things out, don’t give up, and seek help when you need it, whether from clergy or otherwise. Keep God in your life so you have a heavenly perspective on things.

Please bless us with your prayers for many more years together.

Love,

Joanne

Happy 65th Anniversary Mom and Dad!

I happened to ask my mom the other day, If Dad was still around, what anniversary would you be celebrating this year? Mom replied that she and my dad were married in 1953 so on June 21st, they would be celebrating 65 years of marriage.

Over the years, I’ve heard many stories from my mother about their courtship. Mom spied Dad for the first time at Jeannie Drizos’ wedding around 1951. She lost track of him for a little bit but they reconnected in 1952. Shortly after, my dad gave her an engagement ring.

When I interviewed Mom for this post, here’s what she told me about her wedding.  They were married at St. Spyridon Greek Orthodox Church in Monessen, PA. Their reception was also in Monessen, at the Sokol Hall, and they had a live band. The Manis Brothers were an all mandolin band. I would have loved to have heard that! My Uncle Bil Gameos was living in New York City at the time and mom said she remembers that he performed a live dance number for them.

Mom said her gown was modeled after Queen Elizabeth’s wedding dress. A few years ago, my daughter Michelene, modeled it at an event in Sewickley, PA. It is still a stunning gown to this day. The bridesmaid’s dresses, which are also WOW!, were bought at Kaufmann’s downtown, as was my mother’s gown.

My mom said they went to Cuba for their honeymoon!

My mom has two very old, very beautiful albums. The pictures are still heavily glued in place. This is why you will see the pages of the albums (below) and not scanned pictures.

My dad passed away 21 years ago this month. It was Father’s Day and Pentecost. He is sorely missed. I thought it would be a wonderful tribute to both of my parents to write this blog and share some of their pictures.

Enjoy this walk back in time! Please write any comments for my mom (now 89 years young) here on this blog, or on my Facebook post. I will be sure and share them with her.

xo Joanne

Happy Anniversary Jim!

Wow, were we young!

It’s hard to believe but 37 years ago today, Jim and I tied the knot. It was a Sunday, Mother’s Day 1981, and I remember so many wonderful  and interesting things about that day.

My grandmother and grandfather were at my house. While we were all getting ready, it began to rain heavily. Since we hadn’t left yet, this was somewhat distressing. My yiayia said, “It is good luck to have rain on your wedding day.” I felt better when she said that. Thankfully, the sun came out later during the reception.

For some reason, I drove my sisters and myself to church in a new Nissan 200SX. It was a manual transmission so I’m wondering if they couldn’t yet drive a stick. And yes, it was still pouring rain when we arrived at the church.

Driving to Church.  Remember those Kleenex flowers?

My dad. Boy, do I miss him. (I bet that’s my cousin Nick on the left.)

Sometimes you find out things after your wedding that you didn’t even know went on. I found out that one of the groomsmen was dizzy up on the altar and the others didn’t know if he was going to faint or not.

Here we are! All Photography by Dan McConnell.

One of my girlfriends was dating someone at the wedding and I think they had a bit of a disagreement there. Another guest was with her fiance and professed undying love to someone else during the course of the evening. What drama!

Our reception was in the church hall and the Barlamas Family (Franzee’s) made a fantastic meal. Everyone had a half chicken on their plate; it was so generous. I don’t remember having a cookie table but I do remember a delicious white almond cake by Keystone Bakery in Monessen. My mom and the owners were childhood friends.

Look at those smiles!

Our favors were very traditional. We had wrapped white Jordan almonds in white netting. In the Greek culture this is called Bomboniere. I still love Jordan almonds in white netting to this day, don’t you?

Our guests came from Chicago, South Carolina, Monessen, and of course, Ambridge, Pennsylvania. Father John Kiramarios was our priest at that time. I hope I get to see him someday again.

The Gatgounis Family from Charleston, SC.  My godfather and godmother.

I think my mom planned my whole wedding. Back in the days, that is how it was done. I picked out my own dress (the first one I tried on), and I think I went with my bridesmaids to pick out their dresses. Other than that, I bet my mom took care of everything.

Today, I’m a wedding coordinator. I’m assisting at a wedding this weekend and next.  It is amazing to be here, 37 years later, helping other couples enjoy their day. I am one lucky gal.

Happy Anniversary Jim! Thank you for 37 wonderful years. Two beautiful children and two amazing grandchildren later, here we are. I love you and pray we have many more years together. Love, Jo

Heritage Floral made my silk bouquets.

My big brother, Cousin Gary and Me

Lots of Greek dancing!

Forever Love

Danina and Preston Seal it with a Kiss! Photo by Jessica Lubert Photography
Danina and Preston -Sealed with a Kiss! Photo by Jessica Lubert.

When I fall in love, it will be forever. Sung by Nat King Cole.

There was a chill in the air as I arrived at the barn that morning. It was a gorgeous, mid September day and the field of sunflowers was awash in color. I always get goosebumps when I arrive on the scene of a wedding and this one was no exception.

My daughter and I got to work, unstacking fancy chairs and putting the pads on them. By the time we were done, the linens had arrived and so had the rest of the staff. A big truck loaded with all the decor pulled up to the barn doors. It was time to set the tables.

There were so many beautiful details about Danina and Preston’s wedding I could go on and on. I’m going to save a few for a post later on my events blog. Instead, I want to tell you about the grace on this day.

Family members gave their heirloom china to display on the tables. Can you imagine rows of place settings and no two the same placed next to each other? Wow. And the father of the bride, Sam, did the flowers on the tables. He took his time and used many of the milk glass vases that Danina had gathered over the few months before the big day.

Table Settings and Sunflowers. Photo by Jessica Lubert.
Table Settings and Sunflowers. Photo by Jessica Lubert.

I had asked Danina beforehand what she was going to carry for flowers. She wasn’t concerned about it and told me that she’d probably just hold whatever was available (this is a low key bride!). Now for some reason before I left home that morning, I grabbed floral wire and a few other tools. I also picked some herbs from my garden- lavender, mint, basil, and a few flowers. I put them in a small mason jar. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with them but I took them anyway.

About an hour before the wedding ceremony, Michelene fashioned Danina a beautiful bouquet of sunflowers and tied it with ribbon. For the groom, best man, and officiant I created a quick boutonniere of herbs and flowers. Later I saw that someone had placed a small sunflower in the mens’ lapels along with my herbs- perfect. 🙂 And what a blessing to be able to contribute something of my own to this beautiful day.

October 8, 2015- I just published more pictures of this wedding on my events IDEAs! page! Click HERE to see them!

Here’s a few more photos of this wonderful day! Best wishes to Danina and Preston! Many thanks to my assistants- Michelene Cain and Jessica Lubert .

No Assigned Seating! Photography by Jessica Lubert.
No Assigned Seating! Photography by Jessica Lubert.

Waiting for the Guests...and Dinner! Photography by Jessica Lubert.
Waiting for the Guests…and Dinner! Photography by Jessica Lubert.

Hahaha! Photography by Jessica Lubert.
Hahaha! Photography by Jessica Lubert.

This Picture Makes Me Cry. Photography by Jessica Lubert.
Commitment in their own words. This Picture Makes Me Cry. Photography by Jessica Lubert.

 

 

 

The Sweetheart Table. Photography by Jessica Lubert.
The Sweetheart Table. Photography by Jessica Lubert.

Love and Marriage

Looking pretty spiffy at the FOCUS fundraiser
Looking pretty spiffy at the FOCUS fundraiser

“If I get married, I want to be very married.”
Audrey Hepburn

I love to hear Jim tell the story of how we met. When people ask, he tells it like this. “I was at the VIP in Baden (a disco) and looked across the room. I saw this beautiful woman, sitting at a table full of dirty glasses and I could have heard a pin drop. I said to my friend Jeff, I am going to marry that girl.”

If you believe in love ever after, then I have to say you are in good company. Jim and I are coming up on thirty four years of marriage. He still thinks I am a size five. I am one lucky girl.

I could tell you it has all been wine and roses but that would not be the truth. Anyone who has been in a long term relationship will say HA! to that. It’s true. We have been through our share of thick and thin.

At the start of our marriage, Jim switched careers and went to nursing school (a good move). We had children young (never regretted, also a good move). I started a gourment coffee business, then a major competitor came to town (bummer). We remodeled our house a couple of times. We got a dog, chickens, bees, and a grandson (awesome stuff).

Jim is my biggest cheerleader. He is always behind me; game for almost anything I have a desire to do. He also pushes me to do things I don’t always want to do- like looking at the reality of situations. Or asking me what my motivation is behind doing the things I want to do. When I’m upset about something small, he reminds me I have bigger fish to fry.

If I could describe Jim in a few words it would be “easy does it.” I bought him a license plate for the front of his truck that actually says this, because it is true. He will rarely get fluffed about anything and when he does, he tends to only tell people he really trusts. He isn’t a blabber mouth. He is a man of few words but those words are either hilariously funny or seriously wisdom filled.

I am thankful that God brought Jim and I together. Sometimes when I am troubled, I get up so close to him that he probably cannot breathe. I can feel my heart beat slower and more confidently, just because he is near me. I can hug him for a long time and he will let me.

If I could give advice to any newly married couple it would be this. You cannot be selfish when you are married. In order to have a loving, serious relationship, you have to be unselfish. And you have to have respect for your partner, no matter what. You can disagree, have different opinions, but you have to love and respect them for who they are. 

Jim and I work on our marriage. We spend time together and make dates when we know that we have been too busy. Our friends are a huge part of our life. We have separate hobbies but we also love many things mutually- good food, family, and outdoor spaces.

How blessed I have been. Happy Valentine’s Day Jim!

The Differences Between Us

Jim and I in beautiful Nantucket, Fall of 2016

The relationship of husband and wife should be one of closest friends. B.A. Ambedkar

Jim and I will be married 37 years this coming May. The picture above is one of my new favorites, snapped in Nantucket during time away last fall. Though we’ve been married that long, my husband and I are often like night and day. Oil and vinegar. Fire and water. But somehow, it works. We work. We are still a work in progress.

This is a good example of our differences. When I am driving, I anticipate when I will need to get off at an exit. Usually I move over into the correct lane way ahead of time, probably 1-2 miles before. I don’t have to worry about crossing over large amounts of traffic or missing the exit. I like to play it safe.

Jim will be in the same situation and he will not worry about moving over until he is a half mile from the exit. He will need to cross over two lanes of traffic but so what? Even if someone won’t let him by, he will get over somehow. (and he will complain about the guy that didn’t let him over!)

This kind of stuff used to drive me crazy. But if you’ve been married a long time you know. You choose your battles and ask yourself “how important is it?”

Jim has a counter top in the kitchen where he puts all of his stuff. Papers, pencils, change, you name it. I have my stuff concealed in drawers and desks. His counter top used to drive me nuts. It doesn’t anymore. I hardly notice it.

His garage is the same way. A clutter. But he and his brothers can usually find what they are looking for. I’d love to go and organize it for them but I bet they’d have a meltdown. How would they find anything?

I can just about figure out where Jim has been and what he has done in any given day by the trail he leaves behind. Candy wrappers, hammers, pliers. I have to admit I’m guilty of the same thing myself sometimes. It’s just easier to look at someone else’s mess and point the finger. 😉

I’m a taskmaster, an administrative guru. I have file folders for bills and a place for receipts. Jim can usually not find a crucial paper unless it’s on that cluttered counter. Years ago, he would ask me where I put it. Now he asks me if I’ve seen it.

Jim is really the cream in my coffee and the dots on my i’s. Though many years have passed and we have seen our share of good and bad, we are a team. I never think that he doesn’t love me; he adores me in fact and that love is what keeps us together.

It is worth the time and energy to make a relationship work. I love weddings and the thought of forever after. It takes two to tango though and that’s the truth. Thank you Jim, for the willingness to tango.

JimandJo

I Got Married on Mother’s Day!

JimandJo2

In honor of our 39th wedding anniversary, I’ve updated this post a bit but it is still largely the same as when I wrote it six years ago. All photos by Dan McConnell. 

My maternal grandparents came from Stockdale, Pennsylvania. My godparents had arrived from Charleston, South Carolina.

The night before our wedding, my father and uncles roasted a lamb, Greek-style, on a spit in the back yard. My mom, aunts, and grandparents prepared spanakopita, stuffed grape leaves, Greek salad with feta cheese and a host of other yummy dishes, and of course Greek cookies like finikia, baklava and diples. There was Greek music and line dancing in our big basement. The Greeks really know how to get ready for a wedding. There was lots of merriment, dancing, eating, and drinking!

I remember when I told my first boss, Bob at Heritage Floral, that I wanted to get married on Mother’s Day, May 10, 1981. He almost had a melt down! I forgot it was the biggest floral day of the year! Bob finally calmed down when I told him I wanted white silk roses in my bouquet and my bridesmaids’. Silk flowers were the big thing back then. There were real flowers on the reception tables of course and Bob did a spectacular job. Having silk flowers made it easier for Bob to do the bouquets ahead of time, a great time saver in this case!

Jim and Jo CrownsMy wedding was fabulous. Have you ever been to a Greek Orthodox wedding? It is very beautiful and symbolic. My favorite part is the exchanging of the crowns, or Stefana, which symbolizes the unity of the couple and presence of Christ who blesses and joins the couple. The Stefana are exchanged three times, back and forth, by the godparent and this symbolizes a sealing of the union. I still have my crowns to this day and actually had them framed; they are real beauties.

The reception was downstairs in our church hall. The Barlamas family catered the dinner and I swear, everyone had a half chicken on their plate! Greek dancing began shortly after and during the first dance, my father showered us with dollar bills for good luck. My little cousins (who I thought would keep the money!) swept up all the change and bills and that is what we honestly used for spending money while on our honeymoon at Peak N’Peek resort.

The reason I wanted to get married on Mother’s Day was because it was exactly one year to the day that I met Jim. When I asked my priest, Father John, if it was ok to be married on Mother’s Day, he said yes. At our ceremony, I remember him saying it was a day to honor all women and a perfect day to be married. 

By the following year on my first anniversary, I was pregnant with my daughter Michelene. She was born on August 7, 1982. My son John came a few years later on January 9, 1986.

The significance of Mother’s Day as a wedding day has never been lost on me. I love being a mother to two beautiful children and a grandmother to Gavin and Penny. I have been blessed with a great husband who has been willing to do the hard work of staying together. It has not always been easy but we have persisted through the good, and challenging, times.

I believe the secret to a long relationship is respect for your partner. And a dedication to love and cherish the other person, no matter what. Being a mom is just the bonus to a good marriage.

Driving to Church. Remember those Kleenex flowers?
My Dad. Boy, I miss him. (Check out my bouquet!)
Here we are!
Heritage Floral made my silk bouquets.
Look at those smiles! Cake by Keystone Bakery, Monessen.
Lots of Greek dancing! That’s my cousin Gary in the lead!

What Speaks of Love?

The Bonfire

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” ― Mother Teresa

I was loading socks into Jim’s dresser drawer when I remembered a moment in time. It was a flashback to a conversation between Jim and our close friend John.

Jim had asked John what act of his wife’s spoke of love? John thought for a moment and said “The smell of dinner when I drive up my driveway! That spells LOVE to me!”, said John in his big, beautiful voice. I braced myself for what Jim would say. “A drawer full of socks, John. I love when I open my drawer and see it full of socks.”

Since then I have remembered what filling up that sock drawer means to Jim. It speaks of my love for him. It took me only a moment (and thirty years of marriage) to realize how much he appreciated it.

What does Jim do for me that I love? He builds great campfires. He sets up the logs in a nice, stacked fashion, utilizes newspaper strategically, and sometimes even gets creative with a few charcoal briquets just to get things going.

I once told Jim that his fires “flickered in all the right places.” He loved that and says it’s one of the nicest things I have ever said to him.

When I think about it, it’s really those little things that sometimes mean the most. I try and pay attention to what I do for the special people in my life- my kids, my mom, my grandson, my family, my friends. Thoughtful and kind acts are not necessarily about great or expensive gifts. Meaningful acts of loving kindness can be simple and sweet, inexpensive and lovely.

I like to take my mother a mason jar of flowers from my yard when I visit her. Or, I take her something special from the farmer’s market- those little zucchini, an eggplant or some fresh green beans. I know how much she likes those kinds of things.

This weekend, I hope someone does something special for you and vice versa. Have a great holiday!

Does someone you know do something especially kind for you? Or do you have a great memory of a parent or loved one from your past? Here’s your chance to share it with us and give us some good ideas!

Realizing the Dream

Jess and Jake's wedding
Jess and Jake’s wedding

A dream is a wish your heart makes….Cinderella

The beautiful couple above really started the whole thing. Meet Jess and Jake. Their barn wedding took place on a lush farm about an hour from the city of Pittsburgh a few years ago.

I had been working for a religious institution planning and organizing programming and events, including weddings. Though it was interesting, I longed to be there for the actual unfolding, something that was not required of me in my job.

So when I heard Jess and Jake were getting married, I asked them if I could supervise their wedding. Thankfully, they said yes.

Jess and I met a few times to go over details. I went early to the farm on the day of the wedding and made sure the set up was accurate. I timed the bridesmaids walking down the lawn. I stuck around all night to insure everything was taken care of. I was in charge of paying the vendors and I also made sure all the gifts and cards were put in a safe place.

When Jess and Jake returned from their honeymoon, we went out to dinner. They gave me a present, a plaque with a poem titled “Those Who Serve.” It was absolutely beautiful.

The owner of the farm was watching me the night of the wedding. She offered me a part time summer job. The next year, I did six or so weddings at three different farm locations. The outdoor wedding bug bit me hard. I fell in love with barn weddings.

And I still love weddings, all kinds. Whether they are Orthodox, Jewish, Catholic, Methodist, indoor, outdoor- I love them. Maybe it’s because I believe in the “Happily Ever After” or maybe it’s because I just love that moment in time, when two people decide to join together and make a commitment to each other. I love all the families being there, wishing them well. I could go on and on….

So I began to think about starting my own business, planning weddings and special events. When my mom fell ill and I quit my full time job, that dream came closer and closer. I talked it over with a few people and decided to go for it. Business cards were made, a few “Partners” said YES!, and my event planning website went “LIVE” last week. (Hang on, I’m going to share the link with you at the bottom of this post!)

This leap of faith I am taking is inspired by grace. Instead of feeling fear, I feel an inspiration to give this long desired dream a chance. I pray that I will again be led in a divine direction, to go where people may need me most. The people I have met already who want to be a part of my new business are well, just heaven sent.

So tonight, raise a glass and please make a toast to my new business, Katherine’s Daughter Events. Your blessing and your prayers will mean more to me than anything else. After all, this is a joint project. You are part of my life.

Check out my new website HERE!

What’s your most unforgettable moment from your wedding, or a wedding you’ve been to recently?

Lena and Andrew

Lena and Andrew
Lena and Andrew

I had the honor of assisting at a beautiful wedding last weekend. Lena and Andrew were married in my church and there were many of us there to witness this blessed event.

As God would have it, I bumped into my friend Rita and her daughter a few months ago in a home decorating store. “Lena is getting married!” said Rita and I couldn’t help but mention that I have done detail work on many wedding ceremonies and other types of events. 🙂

Lo and behold the phone rang one day and it was Rita. She felt fine about the reception but was nervous about the wedding ceremony. Would I assist at the church? I didn’t even hesitate. “Yes, of course!” was my answer.

We met to go over the details, then time quickly flew by. Soon enough it was rehearsal then, wedding time! The bridal couple was a youthful example of shining love…like a beacon that Hands Twowarmed and reminded us of our own days gone by. Lena and Andrew were a lovely couple and a bit old fashioned (which I loved!). They did not want to see each other before the ceremony! No pictures together….just one intimate moment in which they grasped hands from around a corner, while photographers snapped away, capturing the moment.

Instead of a choir, Lena and Andrew wanted cantors. I wondered how this would unfold and I have to say it took my breath away when the bride and her father walked down the aisle, to a heavenly host of voices singing from the front altar. It felt very traditional and different all at the same time!

As the guests sprinkled the newly married couple with white rose petals, I felt blessed to be part of such a beautiful event. There is that moment of satisfaction when you know that everything came together the way it should be, for a couple who are loved and wished all the best.

Do you have a favorite memory of a blessed event? Share it with me!

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