Ode to a Beloved Pet- Miss Jordan

It’s January. Christmas has come and gone, and the New Year has begun. It is almost the one year anniversary of the passing of my mom (January 10). Our beloved senior dog, Miss Jordan, passed on December 15th. The void in my life is palpable. Yet I feel a peace, a relief that I haven’t felt in a long time.

When you devote yourself as a caregiver, whether it be to a parent, child, animal, or other, it takes its toll. For parents who have a special needs child, I cannot imagine the lifelong commitment. I assisted my mother for a solid decade and it completely wore me out. Without my spouse and sisters, it would have been unimaginable.

And then there’s Miss Jordan. She was with us for sixteen years. Anyone who has cared for a senior dog will tell you that it’s no picnic. But yet, we care deeply out of love and do everything we can to make them comfortable.

I think she was barely a few months old when my daughter spotted Jordan, tail wagging and looking like she was ready for a new family. Michelene knocked on the door of her birth house, asked if Jordan was available for adoption, and brought her home that day (no charge, by the way).

We had a older border collie mix named Lucky who was not happy when Jordan came. Jordan playfully irritated Lucky to no end, and Lucky would respond with barking until he was hoarse. But Jordan motivated Lucky and I swear he lived a bit longer with her energy.

Jordan defied injury and death a couple of times. She had a habit of chasing deer through our neighboring woods and once I drove around to find her, narrowing catching her before she stepped onto a busy main road. She gave us numerous other causes for alarm, always coming out like a cat with nine lives.

We raised chickens for many years, and early in her puphood we heard cackling in the coop very late one night. Jim took Jordan down and opened the door, only to find a raccoon had infiltrated and was wreaking havoc. Jordan quickly snatched the raccoon behind the ears and in one fell crunch, the offending animal was silenced.

After that, Jordan became fiercely protective of the chickens. She sat outside with them in the evenings when they languished in the yard, feasting on bugs and sometimes, my flowers, roaming freely under her protection. Her reward was a fresh egg, which she gently cracked open, licked from inside out, and devoured completely.

Towards the end of her life, Jordan still walked our field several times a day, her steps a memory from when my grandson Gavin was young. As a child, he drove his Jeep Power Wheels around the parameters every morning and several times a day, Jordan following closely behind. Sticking her nose deeply into the grass, she would sniff out the deer and other varmints that had likely passed through during the night. Even at Jordan’s old age, she still attempted to chase anything that came into her yard because after all, it was HER yard.

Thank you Jordan for your years of devotion. For sharing your joy and patience and inspiring me to sit outside and revel in nature. You were an amazing welcoming committee for every house guest. We love you and will remember you eternally.

Jordan the Wonder Dog
Jordan with Sebastian and Molly (Michelene’s dogs)
My favorite picture of Jordan, captured summer of 2022
Jordan was ready to go anywhere, at any time!

Living In The Moment

(It’s the 11th year of my blog and I’m going to be sharing some of my earliest writings with you. Here’s one of the first I ever published.)

This is easier said than done isn’t it? With the holidays just around the corner, I can really start to feel overwhelmed by the excitement, preparation and….. the worry.

I am a very good worrier. I seem to have been bred for it as my mom and my grandmother were expert worriers. Even when things were going well, they still worried. What if something awful would happen? Let us imagine the worst case scenario and plan for it. Let’s imagine 20 plans of action to the unimaginable and then maybe perhaps we will be prepared.

Somehow one day, I felt my cloak of worry and noticed how heavy it had become. It is just not worth it, I decided, to keep that heavy coat on all the time. I began to peel it off. First, it fell a bit back from my shoulders. Then I took one arm completely out. (whew! even that felt better). Slowly, over time, I took the other arm out and THUD. The coat fell to the ground.

I realize now that I do have the ability to handle anything that life may challenge me with. I am up to the task. And I have people in my life that love me and are willing to stand by or assist should I need it. Why not take advantage of those things?

Living in the moment is how I deal with any attempts of my own to retreat back into my cloak of worry. Living in the moment frees up mental space and allows me to enjoy who I am spending time with and what I have chosen to do at this moment.

English: Trees in the snow
Enjoy the moment!

It’s nice to share. Thank you.

God Has Confidence in Me

Photo by Joe Indovina
Photo by Joe Indovina

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about minding my own business. It was called Keeping My Spoon in My Own Bowl. Since then, a few more things have happened that have me scratching my head in wonder.

I’m not sure if it’s this long winter and the toll it is taking on me or others, but honestly, I’m feeling like I need a long vacation. I seem to be ticking people off and not in a good way. It’s been a very trying couple of weeks.

So what do you do when your words or actions are fodder to the fire to another person? I know what I used to do. Admit to nothing, deny everything and counter accuse. I literally could do no wrong. Never looking at my own part in any conflict used to be the norm, even when I might have had that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

What is the difference now? When I upset someone, even if I mean no malice or ill will, I will apologize. If I feel truly in my heart I did no wrong, I will still say “I”m sorry” if someone takes what I did as a personal attack. With this action, I pay attention to my side of the street. I keep it clean.

I do this because I know deep down, God has confidence in me. If there is a lesson to be learned, then let me learn it. Perhaps I am being used as an instrument for someone else’s lesson. Whatever the reason, my soul is restored through honesty and the willingness to look at the log in my eye instead of the splinter in everyone else’s.

The maladies I caused myself by my own past thinking, stinking thinking as I like to call it, were numerous. Sore back, restlessness, discontent, sleeping problems, irritability. It was because my slate was not clean. I carried around burdens and behaviors that I didn’t know how to get rid of. Only through deep introspection and revelation to trusted individuals were these burdens removed. And then apologies doled out, the sweet antidote to my troubled ego.

I fight this of course. Don’t think I go around apologizing and then feeling all cozy and warm. My head fights with me, I chastise myself for getting into situations and not thinking more clearly. But, who is to say that my challenges were not exactly as God planned them? Maybe they were meant that way for a reason.

DSC_0036So I keep plodding along, putting one foot in front of the other, waiting for spring, waiting for the promise of renewal. I will watch for the snow drops soon; they will begin to come up in my back yard. I embrace the sunrise and the sunset because that gets me closer to the beauty of a new season, a fresh start. I go easy on myself because deep down, I am keeping the faith.

Keeping My Spoon in My Own Bowl

Bowl Stack

Hence, in this life we shall attain nothing like perfect humility and love. So we shall have to settle, respecting most of our problems, for a very gradual progress, punctuated sometimes by heavy setbacks. Our oldtime attitude of all or nothing will have to be abandoned. Grapevine 1962

So as usual, God has an interesting way of teaching me a good lesson in humility.

Something I did recently, with no harm intended, triggered a domino effect of major proportions. This has served as a reminder to me that a desire for control will sometimes present itself in the most creative ways. And sadly, an issue that could have been solved in a quiet and kind way, ended up bruising my ego and yes I admit, my heart.

I am surviving this by remembering what an old friend taught me years ago. I need to keep my spoon in my own bowl. It is a hard thing to do but truly I think, therein lies the secret to serenity.

When I have my spoon in my own bowl, I cannot pay attention to what is going on in other people’s bowls. Minding my own business becomes easier. It helps me set boundaries and parameters that keep my head in line with my heart. I remind myself, “What other folks do, or think of me is really none of my business.” My own mental health becomes a number one priority.

Bowl SingleYears ago, I had a terrible falling out with a close friend. She was under a lot of stress and one day, called to read me the riot act for a good 5-10 minutes over something I did. During the course of the conversation, she continued to berate me even though I apologized several times. I almost hung up on her but out of respect for our long friendship, I held on until the end.

It took a week or two but I sent her a card. I thanked her for her honesty. I tried to think of that note as act of humility, not a humiliating act.

Our friendship suffered greatly because of this incident. Eventually, I let go of the pain. I didn’t spread any gossip nor did I try and get other friends to take sides. That would have been the easy road. I could have avoided our whole group of friends so I wouldn’t see her. But I was not about to give up my other friends because of what had happened. I continued to show up at get togethers. I just kept my distance from my old friend.

Years later, it was she who reached out to repair our relationship. I welcomed her with open arms. We are dear friends again and I would do just about anything for her.

While driving home today a thought crossed my mind. Could my own humility be a God lesson to someone else? Is it possible that in my own self centeredness, I fail to stop and consider what someone else might learn in a challenging situation? Who knows? I try not to really think about it because after all, my spoon is in my own bowl.

Bowl Multiples with Red Vase

(all photos by me and my lovely Android cell phone!)

How do you practice humility?

Sisterly Love

With my Sisters, at the Base of the Acropolis!
With my Sisters, at the Base of the Acropolis! L to R, Cally, Mary, Me

There is no outsider anywhere who wouldn’t appreciate and even envy the tremendous advantage that sisters have if properly utilized, against all odds- Susan Ripps

Today is my sister’s birthday- Happy Birthday Mary! It’s also a perfect time for me to spend a few moments thinking about sisterhood.

If you have a sister, you will understand. You will know about the good times, the growing up times, the not so easy times and the special times.

The Oldest and (temporarily) the Tallest!
Me- The Oldest and (temporarily) the Tallest!

When we were growing up, we three were like jam (stuck together!) and we watched out for each other. We rode bikes, played Batman and Robin and jumped on our beds just like most other kids.

We fought and made up. We dished and kept quiet. We occasionally told on each other and then stuck our tongues out to rub it in good.

We sang in middle school chorus and took piano and guitar lessons. The church choir was our back bone and GOYA (the Greek Orthodox Youth Association) our teenage learning years. Greek school was mandatory but there’s not much we remember about that today.

Our mom was tough but Dad was even tougher. Three daughters must have been quite hellish for him at times; too much to worry about. But they did a fine job and I must say we are quite the talented bunch.

To this day, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t share with my sisters. Though I was encouraged to be their role model, they have seen me stumble, fall, get back up, fall again, hit the wall, succeed. They stuck with me through all of it, never making fun of me or thinking less of me. I guess I have shown them my imperfect side, my soft side, because the role model side would not have taught them as much.

We went out to dinner the other night just the three of us and our mom. We toasted our dinner and our time together. It’s been a great holiday and it’s about to get even greater with a shopping trip today and dinner out tonight including our fabulous partners.

So here’s to Mary- Happy Birthday!

Do you have a sister or someone who is like a sister to you?

Make A Joyful Noise

DSC_0195

Beside them the birds of heavens dwell; they sing among the branches. Psalm 104:12

The holiday season is upon us and though it seems the nature world is quiet, it is really not. Birds are still singing and deer are crunching along on the snow covered spots in my backyard.

I’m not a big fan of winter but this year it doesn’t seem to be bothering me. After the past few years of hot flashes, the coldness is a welcome relief and my sleep has been deep and comforting. This is something to be thankful for.

I bought a big bag of birdseed and when it snowed last week, I fed the birds from my backyard feeder. They put on a show for me and I am comforted by their presence. I think their colors are a beautiful backdrop to white snow.

DSC_0666Something interesting happened on Monday. I am reading a book that I will be reviewing, and it mentioned sending an “intention” out (more on this when I write the actual review!). So I did. I don’t even remember what the intention was, but it had something to do with my wedding planning business.

That night, I had a dream about a bride and a wedding. I did not recognize the bride but she was lovely. In the dream I was a part of her wedding. The next day (I kid you not) I received an email from a young woman, asking me to assist her with her wedding.

I have no idea if it was the intention or the timing or maybe a little bit of both. Perhaps it is just faith. I am approaching this business, my event planning business, from an entirely new position. Years ago, I was fairly aggressive when I was self employed. Things were good; I was successful and happy. This time, I am determined not to be a bothersome pest. I believe that if someone needs me, God will put me in their path.

JOYLast Christmas, you may remember that I received a word at a gathering of friends. That word was JOY. I have to tell you, it has been a joyous year despite many challenges, including my mother’s illness and my departure from full time employment. I kept JOY in mind all the year through and I am grateful for the many blessings I have received.

I hope you are living joyfully! How have you been?

Peanut Butter and Jelly Moments

This past weekend marked a special event. After thirty one years of living with us, my daughter has moved into her very first house.

It has been quite a transition for us, a big time reality check that includes a stark awareness of how time really does march on. We have all been through much together, thick and thin, and weathered it all with the grace of God.

“And still, after all this time, the Sun has never said to the Earth,”You owe me.” Look what happens with love like that. It lights up the sky.” ― Rumi

I am in the right place (I hope) about my daughter’s departure. She is a love that lights up the sky and it is her time to have the freedom she has long desired and worked so hard for. Her leaving is a testament to having goals. She went to school, got good grades, worked part time then full time, She saved her money and pursued this little house with a big yard because she’d like to have a small farm someday.

My son has been gone for five years already so I am used to him not being here (except for holidays). I think Jim is apprehensive about the quiet around our house but I feel ready. Maybe I will change my mind, but I know time cannot stand still and we all have to move on.

finishedpeanutbuttercookies1Through all this, I’ve been thinking about peanut butter and jelly. And eating peanut butter and jelly. It is the basic comfort food, the quintessential sandwich of childhood, the “everything will be all right” kind of nourishment that we all crave when life gets alittle challenging.

I found a wonderful blog recently called “Confetti Diaries” and asked Natalie if I could publish the delicious picture of her peanut butter and jelly cookies. I’m going to make a batch of these soon. And then I think I’ll take some over to my daughter’s house.

Click HERE for the link to Natalie’s cookie recipe.

What’s your favorite comfort food?

Rocky Mountain High

DSC_0304

I don’t know about you but sometimes I can really get a committee going in my head. The committee sometimes makes good sense or helps me through a problem in a loving and encouraging way. But sometimes the committee speaks too loudly and makes no sense.

It likes to go on and on about dumb stuff and I just follow along, wimp like, victim like while it chastises me for various things. I didn’t do this or that good enough, or wow, how could I have reacted in that situation like that. On and on it goes, just making me feel bad.

Until I got the bright idea one day that I could just change the station in my head. Just like turning the knob to another radio station, I can switch off the bad thoughts and tune into another station. I mentally try one station- soft music- and in my head suddenly I am singing an old familiar 70’s song like yep, Rocky Mountain High. I saw John Denver in person once, the year before he died, and he performed with the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra. That was the first song he walked out on stage singing and I still get chills just thinking about it.

DSC_0302

So now my head is filled with glorious music and a stunning mountain vista, instead of those pesky, bothersome committee members.

If the song ends in my head, I can again switch the station. This time, I switch to the spiritual station. In the background I can feel the warmth of soft candles. My Higher Power is there, s(he) is engaging me in loving thoughts and encouragement. I am again bathed in a wash of light and happiness, grateful to be alive and ready for my next destination.

This takes some practice, but I am getting pretty good at switching stations. The committee is learning that it can’t sit there and complain and give me a hard time or the door will close to its room. I’ll be off and in another direction, content to find another, more happier place in which to hang out.

Thanks to my daughter Michelene for her stunning photos!

Where do you go (in your head!) for a change of scenery?

Pondering Some Sweet Things

One of my new friends! Sweet Bites Cookies
One of my new friends! Sweet Bites Cookies

I’ve met some interesting people in the last couple of weeks as I venture out and promote my wedding and event business.

There was the group of local women business owners who invited me to a networking event last week. Included in the bunch was a lovely woman who brought her magic cookies and shared them with all of us. I was so impressed with Diane that I’m adding her to my business website! (Click on the link under the cookie picture to check her out)

I also went to see a local farm- Destiny Hill– that does weddings on their real working lavender farm. And they design bridal flowers pulled from their own flower beds! I was in love with the place from the moment I drove up the driveway!

There was something interesting too that happened to me last week that I’ve been wanting to share with you. Here goes….

Can you see them?
Can you see them?

I was driving on a road just minutes away from my own home, engrossed in thinking about my business. (I’ve been doing that a lot lately!) So catching myself, I took a minute for a gratitude prayer and then asked God for assistance with my new venture. In the next minute, the car in front of me slowed down. I glanced up to see what was going on and there was the source. A gaggle of small turkeys, slowly making their way across the road, completely stopping traffic. As they reached the other side, the lead turkey decided she really didn’t want that side, she wanted the other side.

So they all turned around and went back across the road.

I pulled my car over to the berm, so excited about the turkeys that I grabbed my cell phone. Not wanting to scare them, I kept back and was able to snap a picture or two. Other cars sped on as soon as the turkeys were off the road. I stood a moment or two until they disappeared into the brush.

What does this beautiful nature sighting mean? To me it was an instant affirmation that God is with me. S(he) is watching over me and hears my prayers. All I need to do is believe and things will work out as they should, not by my plan but by a divine plan. To see my favorite creatures in such multiples, I can’t help but be overwhelmed by the sight. To me, it is a sign of future abundance as long as I am willing to keep a grateful heart.

What’s your favorite creature of nature? I’d love to know!

The Last Little Bits of Summer

IMG_2367

“Summer’s lease hath all too short a date.”
William Shakespeare, Shakespeare’s Sonnets

Here we are, the end of August and summer is winding to a close. Where has the time gone? I remember writing my late spring blog post, eagerly awaiting summer’s full glory, anticipating the slow, warm days I was so looking forward to.

As I look back, it has been an amazing summer. Beauty has abounded in my area, despite weird weather like too hot, too cool, too much rain. But somehow through it all, I managed a slight tan, many back yard campfires and lots of juicy peaches.

IMG_2510My cousin Christina came from New York with her daughter Ariel and we had two glorious weeks that included trips to the local farmer’s market and our favorite, the Fiestaware outlet. We couldn’t get enough of Chris’ guacamole and made it no less than four times while she was here! There were lots of salads, grilled vegetables and fresh tomatoes from our garden to enjoy. I’ll never forget her glorious lentils, bean soup and our endless cups of coffee in the back yard, as we caught sightings of the local mama deer and her two baby fawns at play.

I went to Chicago for a wedding, my only real getaway, and what a real pleasure that was. Riding along with my aunt and uncle (my mother’s only brother), I hung out with their teenage grandchildren and never knew how really cool they were. The Chicago cousins were so hospitable I feel like sneaking back there for a visit all my own. (Get ready Deb!)

Through all of this, I felt the faith, the presence of grace all the time. If I momentarily forgot it, I remembered it in the sight of the baby hawk flying over my house, the random phone call from a friend, and the early morning sunrise. I realized the preciousness of time, the ability to take this time to rest, rejuvenate and get ready for whatever will be ahead.

School is beginning next week for my grandson. He is going to the seventh grade (wow, where has THAT time gone?) and Labor Day is just around the corner. I’m looking forward to promoting my new business, looking for still more partners and always searching out great event ideas.

I saw a few red leaves on the ground lately and I know fall is just around the corner. Enjoy these last few summer days with a sentimental heart!

DSC_0090Thanks to Christina for all these beautiful pictures!

How was your summer? Are you looking forward to fall?

Verified by ExactMetrics