What I Can Be Grateful For Right Now

May 3, 2020May 3, 2020

What I Can Be Grateful For Right Now

I have to say, this quarantine is quite the challenge. I’ve been fairly sequestered since March 14 and as the days wear on, staying positive feels like a daily chore.

Since I have spent the last seven years caring for my mom, my life was relatively simple. I had pared back my schedule, no longer working full time, but in the process started a part time business that has been my salvation.

But for wedding coordinators and other event personnel these are trying times. I’m working on a few ideas but business has come to an almost screeching halt. My husband is working from home and honestly, I’m relieved to have him here. From a standpoint of family safety, and for the income it provides, there is much to be thankful for.

What is getting me through? Well, besides coffee and chocolate, it’s Gratitude. Yes, that meaningful little word has become a daily touchstone for me.

In expressing what I’m grateful for, I’ll tell you what I did this morning. I awoke at 6:15 am, started the coffee pot, and walked outside to fill my bird feeders. I wiped the rain drops from my outdoor bench. By the time I walked back in the house, the coffee was just about ready.

I took a cup, a pillow, and went back outside. As I sat on the bench with my warm cup of coffee, I relaxed and listened. The birds were a musical cornucopia. There was so much singing among them, joyous sounds of morning bliss, that I couldn’t help but feel grateful for their chorus.

All day long, on and off, I check on my bird friends to see how they’re doing. I watch them intermingle with the squirrels. I wait for a new sparrow to choose my birdhouse for their next nest. The blackbirds position themselves on the rod where my feeders hang from, perching themselves to have access to the sunflower seeds. They all provide me with a daily reminder to be happy.

Along with the birds, I am in awe of what is blooming in my own backyard. This week I snipped branches of purple lilacs and made a vase full for both me and my mom. Their fragrance fills my kitchen. My peonies are budding, my roses are filled with fresh growth, and my azaleas are on the cusp. Every day I walk outside and look around, waiting for another flower to blossom.

I recently bought zinnias, dahlias, and a few herbs but here in Pennsylvania, it’s a bit too early to put them into the ground. So I have them in pots, outside during the day, and brought in for cooler overnight temperatures. I can wait. They are thriving and it won’t be long until it’s time to plant them in the ground.

One of my orchids has birthed six fresh blooms, with at least three more buds to go. To say they are beautiful is an understatement.

Not my orchids, but these are exactly what I have! Kelly Sikkema

If I just look around, I can find these simple reminders of beauty. This situation will not last forever. It takes a bit of emotional work to stay grounded. We have never had this type of global rest before and we may never have it again. Let’s cherish it.

March 13, 2019March 13, 2019

Take a Vacation

*My mom and the three of us, Me (L), Mary (Front), Cally (Right)*

It is early in the morning as I am writing this. The view from my window is amazing. White sand, bright blue lifeguard stand, and people already walking on the beach. I am into the second week of a two week vacation, here with my family in beautiful Siesta Key, Florida.

I am 61 years young and this is only the second time in my life that I can remember having a two week vacation. The first was a trip to Greece, 11 years ago. I never thought it would be this long that I haven’t returned. I hope Greece is next on the list of two week vacations.

What does it feel like to take two weeks off? First, it feels self indulgent and I’m definitely not used to that. Then there’s a bit of guilt. My husband isn’t here, my sister in law is feeding the dog and watering my plants, and I miss my family. But, at the same time, there are twenty family members here, coming and going at any given time, and the closeness and comfort of that is simply grounding.

When I turned 50, I wondered how I would get through the next decade of work and responsibilities. I was burned out, tired of pushing myself and yet, there was more pushing to do. I survived it and now I am fast approaching the time that I hope to do more of this.

If you’ve never had a two week vacation, I encourage you to do so. I bet you have the PTO (Paid Time Off) but you procrastinate it away. You tell yourself things like, “I’m so busy, I can’t take that much time” or “I don’t have the funds”, but I bet you could figure it out if you gave yourself permission. There are lots of ways to find a time and place to relax. You have to tell yourself that you’re really worth it.

Isn’t it all about that in the end? We can’t allow ourselves the judgment of what others will think, or say, when we announce that we’re leaving. Or we think what would I do with all that time? I’m one of those that have a hard time not having a list of things to do. But the health benefits of vacation time – both physical and mental- make it imperative that we do this for ourselves from time to time.

I wrote a post a while ago about taking a vacation and I think some of my readers scheduled one afterwards. Here’s hoping that this post inspires you to take the time to schedule that PTO (that you’re going to lose if you don’t use it). If you need a travel companion, give me a call.

PS. Even one week is beneficial. If you can’t do two weeks, at least go for one.

Celebrating my mother’s upcoming 90th birthday, together.

January 13, 2019March 11, 2019

Hibernate

Penny, when she was almost one. Now she’s almost three.

It’s January and the holidays have past. How can that be? It seems like they came and went in the blink of an eye. So much anticipation, planning, gift buying, tree trimming, celebrating (I could go on and on) and boom, here we are.

Though it’s all over, there is something about winter. I don’t like the lack of sunlight, but I do love the quiet. It’s just yes, quieter. As I write this it is snowing and the plow truck has been going up and down my lane all evening, scraping the snow from the road.

When the temperature is above freezing, I love to go outside and pick up sticks. I have the luxury of making a small backyard fire whenever I wish. The smell is so good and Jordan, my trusty lab, loves to sit close. At age thirteen now, I think she warms her bones.

I am keeping my bird feeder filled up as best I can. There are three squirrels at least that are stealing the seed, hanging upside down acrobat style, and getting whatever they can out of the small holes. Sometimes I bang hard on my window and they go running off like the caught bandits they are. Other times, I let it go, thinking they need to eat too. As long as the other birds keep coming (and they do), I’m ok with it.

I’ve been writing, cleaning, lounging, hibernating, staying in touch with friends, and generally doing the best I can to do nothing. Honestly, that’s the truth. I turned 61 in November and I can feel the tide changing. I’m no longer as motivated to push myself. It’s too much work and for a person who has pushed herself forever, I am working at just being. It’s not easy.

So I start with hibernating. I leave my jammies on a little extra longer in the morning. I don’t try and cram my schedule full of stuff to do. If I don’t feel like cooking much, Jim and I eat grilled cheese sandwiches. I pick and choose what I want to participate in.

I am not rich. But I am beyond wealthy when it comes to friends, family, and my spiritual life. I was surrounded by my close family, cousins, children, and grandchildren over the holidays. So many of my friends do not live by their children or grands. Blessed is how I describe it.

Over the years, I have worked at being fully engaged. In my home, I do my best to invite, cook, decorate, and be of assistance. Someday it will be my children’s turn to do this. I am already feeling it will be bittersweet. Though I look forward to it, I know I will let go slowly. I will offer to help, to bring something, and supply grocery gift cards when needed.

And I’ll do my best to cherish and enjoy every moment.

“So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 13:13

September 1, 2018

Beach Mornings

I have been in the most beautiful seaside town for the past week- Emerald Isle, North Carolina. It is through the graciousness and benevolence of friends that I am here.

It had been a few years since I spent time with the Atlantic Ocean. Though I went to Nantucket a couple of years ago, it was too cold to wade in. When I go to Siesta Key (Florida) in March, I’m on the gulf side.

Having been raised on vacations in Ocean City, Maryland, the Atlantic Ocean is like an old friend. The sound of the waves and salty air are familiar. When I stick my toes in the warm sand, it’s as if I’ve come home.

On this vacation, I left my family behind. It’s a relatively new experience for me. There’s no one to take care of here (really) other than myself. I’m aware of trying to be a help- making breakfast, setting up a pot of coffee, loading and unloading the dishwasher, etc- but it is not mandatory. I’ve chosen not to go out to dinner a few times, embracing the peace and quiet that’s left behind.

Dare we (who are so busy) strip away our responsibilities on purpose? Who are we when we are not mothering, working, worrying, anticipating, or stressing? We are wrapped around our identities like the wrapper on a lollipop. It’s a challenge to strip that away, let ourselves relax, and enjoy the nothingness of vacation.

Getting up at the crack of dawn to see the sun rise is challenging. Yes, when we set no alarm clock the temptation to sleep in is oh, so strong. I did get up early several times, mainly because I normally do; I’m a rooster who likes to be up with the sun. One morning, I sat on the deck with my coffee, eagerly awaiting the dawn. As the first rays began to appear, I couldn’t resist the tug to get down on the beach. The first time, I was dressed in only pajama shorts (with watermelons on them no less) and a Bette Midler t-shirt. I said to my friend John, “No one will care how I look.”

It was profoundly quiet except for the sound of the waves. As I watched the sun come up, a feeling of being one with God came over me. No one and nothing else, in those few moments, mattered. It was just me and my creator. I wasn’t afraid. I was silenced and humbled by the simple magnificence of what I was witnessing.

I started walking and met a 5 month old yellow lab and his mom. DJ was very interested in me and let me pet the top of his head. A man with a tripod and camera was setting up a shot with a conch shell and a starfish. I thought, “Buddy, you are missing the point.” The sunrise was so gorgeous and I hope he took the time to notice it.

I probably have fifty sunrise and sunset pictures at this point. Laughing, I tried to eliminate a few but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Each one is slightly different. I love them all.

IMG_20180829_204935_928

Have you made your getaway plans yet? I hope you do!

Love from the beach,

Joanne xo

June 10, 2018June 10, 2018

Happy 65th Anniversary Mom and Dad!

I happened to ask my mom the other day, If Dad was still around, what anniversary would you be celebrating this year? Mom replied that she and my dad were married in 1953 so on June 21st, they would be celebrating 65 years of marriage.

Over the years, I’ve heard many stories from my mother about their courtship. Mom spied Dad for the first time at Jeannie Drizos’ wedding around 1951. She lost track of him for a little bit but they reconnected in 1952. Shortly after, my dad gave her an engagement ring.

When I interviewed Mom for this post, here’s what she told me about her wedding. They were married at St. Spyridon Greek Orthodox Church in Monessen, PA. Their reception was also in Monessen, at the Sokol Hall, and they had a live band. The Manis Brothers were an all mandolin band. I would have loved to have heard that! My Uncle Bil Gameos was living in New York City at the time and mom said she remembers that he performed a live dance number for them.

Mom said her gown was modeled after Queen Elizabeth’s wedding dress. A few years ago, my daughter Michelene, modeled it at an event in Sewickley, PA. It is still a stunning gown to this day. The bridesmaid’s dresses, which are also WOW!, were bought at Kaufmann’s downtown, as was my mother’s gown.

My mom said they went to Cuba for their honeymoon!

My mom has two very old, very beautiful albums. The pictures are still heavily glued in place. This is why you will see the pages of the albums (below) and not scanned pictures.

My dad passed away 21 years ago this month. It was Father’s Day and Pentecost. He is sorely missed. I thought it would be a wonderful tribute to both of my parents to write this blog and share some of their pictures.

Enjoy this walk back in time! Please write any comments for my mom (now 89 years young) here on this blog, or on my Facebook post. I will be sure and share them with her.

xo Joanne

February 3, 2018

Confessions of an Anticipater

You Are Enough, from the upcoming Kindness Rocks Garden, Clinton, PA.

I grew up with years of conditioning to be an anticipater. My mother was the queen of hospitality and loved to bake and cook. She kept an immaculate home. When she and my dad entertained, there was always too much food but it was so good that none of us ever minded the leftovers.

When we invite friends or family over, we anticipate how many people, how much food, what will guests need or want to drink. This anticipating serves us well and in my work as a wedding planner, it serves me even better. I am constantly looking ahead to what’s next when it comes to weddings and the big day. Whatever the bride, groom, their respective families, and the guests need, both Sara and I will deliver on.

These same characteristics that serve me so well in my line of work do not always serve me in normal living. As a person who is committed to “letting go” of trivial matters and over planning, it is a challenge to wrestle my elite planning skills with my desire to live a simpler life.

Spontaneity is not one of my greatest characteristics. Yet I do try and be so, especially when I have no desire to cook for myself. I search for a friend who might be available for breakfast, lunch, or just shopping. It used to be that I had to plan these things ahead of time. Well, no more.

I have several friends that I can reach out to who will likely meet me on the spur of the moment. If I can’t find one available, I simply take a book and go myself. No planning necessary there.

If I want to live life as a spiritual journey, I have to be open to whatever is sent my way. Control is best given up. Life is so much easier when it is allowed to unfold any way it wants. Sometimes the best things happen when we least expect them to.

I have a friend who likes to say, “God has a plan for us but we are not on the planning committee.” So true. Divine love is best experienced without boundaries or borders.

November 26, 2017November 26, 2017

My 60th Birthday

“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.”
― Maya Angelou

It has been a wonderful week. Turning 60 has been a happy experience for me in many ways. My sisters (who both live in NC) came home for the week which of course, happened to be Thanksgiving as well.

I wanted a few close family and friends on my actual birthday. No fancy stuff; just pizza and cake. It wasn’t about the food, it was about love and friendships. Penny was there of course and though she wouldn’t sit on my lap, she loved watching everyone sing. John and Jess gave me a blanket with their wedding pictures all over it. What fun!

What have I learned by this age? Well, I’ll tell you. I’ve learned that I can be myself and if people like me for who I am, that’s great. If not, I’m ok with that. I have a smaller circle of friends but I kind of like it that way. I don’t have the stamina that I used to have, but I still have plenty of energy. I will make time for anyone who wants to talk to me (about anything). My ministries are important to me (my mother and FOCUS) and my love for writing and blogging has only increased.

My faith is my guiding light and it keeps me centered. I try and remember to be grateful every day for the blessings that surround me.

My sisters planned a gift for me that they thought would arrive on my birthday. It did not and though Mary was upset, I was fine with it. They took me to lunch on Wednesday to Poros, and my daughter and two cousins showed up. I didn’t know Nini and Lisa were coming until the last minute. I love surprises. Then we decided to text my cousin Nick (who works around the corner) and he came within twenty minutes! Wow!

So the day after Thanksgiving we finally all met at a coffee shop and my gift had arrived. Imagine my surprise when it was a hardcover book of my first three years of every Katherine’s Daughter post! I cried a bit when I saw this. I couldn’t believe how beautiful it was!

Last night I sat down for a while and read the book. It was wonderful to read my posts from the beginning. It was very insightful and I was frankly, a little proud of myself. I couldn’t believe how much I accomplished.

My sister Mary wanted to motivate me to think about compiling my favorite posts into a book. I told her she has succeeded and this is definitely inspiring me to sit down and do the work.

Thank you to my sisters, mom, Jim, Michelene, Jessica, John, Penny and all of you who made my birthday so special. The blessings, wishes, and love from all of you have filled me with joy.

*Do you have a blog you’d like to turn into a book? My sisters used Blog2Print. They’re having a Cyber Monday sale right now so use the code SHOPCOZY for 35% off.

November 19, 2017

A Letter to My Grandson

Yesterday I was going through some office papers when I stumbled across a note that Jim wrote to Gavin last year. I was supposed to post it to my blog but somehow I completely forgot. (please forgive me Jim)

While Jim and I were on vacation last year, Gavin assumed most of the care of our home, including our 13 year old dog Jordan. During a shopping experience at the Nantucket whaling museum store, Jim picked a beautiful compass for Gavin as a gift. He gave it to him when we arrived home.

Without further ado, here is the letter Jim wrote to Gavin.

Compass: A tool often used to help with direction.

Dear Gavin,

While proving yourself this past week by taking care of the house, chickens, and the dog, I was thinking of myself when I was your age. I don’t think I would have done as good a job as you did. Most likely, I would have declined direction or refused the instructions offered to me, thinking that I knew better. Most of the time in my life, when I found myself lost, it was because I declined to use the tools and direction that were so freely given to me.

My hope is that if you use this compass to know the direction you’re starting in, you will always be able to find your way home. But please remember that it works best if you know where you are starting from.

Hopefully, with some Good Orderly Direction, you will never get lost. Always know that I love you. Jim

PS. Clean up your room, stand up straight, and listen to you mom (lol)

When I found this yesterday it melted my heart. Gavin is going to be 17 this coming April. Hard to believe. It feels like yesterday that he was just a little guy.

Thank you Jim for helping me clean out my office and for writing this beautiful letter.

November 19, 2016

Sunlight through the Fog

Foggy Morning Beauty — Early Morning Beauty

When I took Jordan out early Thursday morning, there was a beautiful mist. Everything was covered in a soft white glow and the glorious super moon was still present in the sky. I was so taken by the sight of it all that I went back in the house for my phone. Snapping photos while enveloped in the mist, I was witness to the magnificent dawn.

My wedding season ended last Saturday and I’m looking forward to no commitments for the next few months. This break will give me the freedom to do whatever I want- a luxury in my mind. I am a worrier by nature (I come by it honestly!) and so it takes an effort for me to let go of thinking too far into the future, i.e. next year’s season, will there be enough events, will there be too many? (oy!)

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”
– Leo F. Buscaglia

What do you worry about? (Maybe you’re not a worrier- lucky you!) For as long as I can remember, I hold too much weight on my shoulders. I’m a recovering perfectionist you know, one of God’s most needy children, and it is only through faith that I’m able to work at turning things over. When I saw the sunlight through the fog that morning, it reminded me that God can be the beacon through my worry. The worry is the fog, the sunlight is faith.

“Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith.”
– Henry Ward Beecher

Faith is a deliverance from worry. It is a breath of fresh air, a dark chocolate bar, a new puppy. It reminds me that everything will work out in its time. The one thing I try to remember is that I cannot solve my problems all at once. Honestly, sometimes waiting it out proves more helpful. Rather than force solutions, I pray, turn it over, and let God provide the answers.

This week, for the first time ever, I joined my church women’s group as they made homemade nut rolls (yes, from scratch). They sell them and donate all the profits to charity. This has been going on for AGES but I was always too busy to participate. This year, I wanted to help. I showed up at the chosen time; one of the ladies was making dough, the other was mixing nuts with various ingredients for the filling.

Over the course of the next half hour, other women showed up. I was told to bring a rolling pin and I did. Soon there were several of us rolling. I can’t tell you how therapeutic this was. I rolled dough for a while then I helped spread filling. I think we made at least 30 nut rolls that morning.

When it was all over, one of the ladies made lunch. Delicious scrambled eggs with fried potatoes, Greek salad, feta cheese and pita. My favorite part? A warm from the oven nut roll, cut up in big chunks. Boy was that good.

I told an Orthodox friend later that this experience inspired me. She said ” Treasures In Heaven”. I asked her the meaning of that and she said, “What you do here on earth will bring you treasures in heaven.” To work with these ladies (I was the youngest one there I think), spend time with them, learn from them- it was something sweet. And I’ll tell you. I didn’t worry about a thing when I was rolling dough.

Looks wonderful, doesn’t it? If you have an opportunity to make treasures in heaven, wow, I encourage you to do so.

To you and your family – have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

For another inspiring story, check out my latest post on the Orthodox Christian Network. Click HERE.

October 25, 2016October 26, 2016

Life’s a (Nantucket) Beach

nantucket-cover-photo — Nantucket- Land of Idyllic Beaches

I have been going to the beach ever since I was about ten years old. My family’s favorite spot for years was Ocean City, Maryland. Life is truly wonderful at the beach, isn’t it? Many a fond memory began for me in Ocean City.

Happy to explore North Carolina beaches, Siesta Key Florida, Panama City Beach, Myrtle Beach and many others over the years, I never thought of going to a beach town in the off season. Recently Jim and I spent a whole week in Nantucket, an island about 20 miles off the coast of Cape Cod, Massachusetts.

Of course I’d heard of it! Who hasn’t? I’ve listened to stories about Nantucket and hoped that someday I would visit. A few months ago Jim said he had the third week in October off. Our close friends were willing to join us and had connections there. It seemed like the perfect opportunity.

We flew into Boston, drove to Hyannis and had lunch at the Black Cat Tavern. We walked up the plank onto the Hyline and enjoyed a one hour cruise to Nantucket. The only way to get there is a boat. 🙂 It’s an island, after all.

I could go on and on about what we did, things we saw, but I will reserve that for a few links at the end of this post. What I really want to tell you about is what it was like to be at the beach in an off season and truly relax.

First, it’s much quieter (of course). The weather is cooler which when you get to be my age is ok. The cost of a three bedroom house was about 1/3 of the price it would have been in peak season. There are no lines at the restaurants. The weather was in the 60’s and 70’s and absolutely beautiful. The tourist destinations are much less crowded.

port-view-nantucket — Picture perfect Nantucket

Now the relaxing part. I love that we made no plans. Literally the week unfolded one day at a time. We’d get up in the morning, drink a big pot of coffee, watch CNN for the latest news, talk about what we were doing, get dressed and head out for the day. Breakfast was big or small, depending on how we felt and if we were going to have lunch or dinner somewhere. And many times, we decided at any given moment where we were going.

Since I’m an event planner, it was a big deal to not plan anything. I always say I do details for a living so I don’t want to do them on vacation. I tried to keep from piping up about what we were doing and when, and I think I did a good job of keeping quiet. Relishing the spontaneity became a simple pleasure.

We ate lunch out some days and dinner only a couple of times. We cooked at the house on the grill and made amazing meals. We drove on the beach in a red Jeep and obeyed the signs that warn- “You will get stuck! You must take your tires down to 15 lbs!” (haha!) I saw sea lions for the first time ever. I think my mouth dropped open when I first realized the nose in the water was a seal and not a dog.

Here’s some of my favorite shots of the week. My friend Lynda’s photos are designated by “LZ”. There’s also a beautiful seal video at the end- thank you Lynda!

LZ - My favorite Lighthouse — LZ – My favorite Lighthouse

the-four-of-us — Thankful for good friends.

yellow-windowbox — Window boxes like out of a magazine!

the-wauwinet-woodie — The Wauwinet’s Woodie

LZ- The Wauwinet Hotel. Gorgeous. We ate lunch on the patio.

LZ- Yours Truly, barefoot on the last day — LZ- Yours Truly, barefoot and talking to the sea lions

It isn’t until I get away for a solid week that I realize how much I needed a vacation. Nantucket was the perfect thing. And when you go away with friends you’ve known for thirty plus years, it makes it even better.

Nantucket, hope to see you again soon.

Where we ate:

The Black Cat Tavern

Fifty Six Union

BYB- Back Yard Barbeque

Toppers at the Wauwinet

The Fog Island Cafe

Places to Visit:

The Lighthouses of Nantucket

The Whaling Museum

Petticoat Row Bakery

Bartlett’s Farm

What’s your favorite beach? Leave a quick comment and tell me about it.

Category: Photography