Valentine’s Day – Joanne Jamis Cain

February 10, 2015February 10, 2015

Love and Marriage

Looking pretty spiffy at the FOCUS fundraiser

“If I get married, I want to be very married.”
― Audrey Hepburn

I love to hear Jim tell the story of how we met. When people ask, he tells it like this. “I was at the VIP in Baden (a disco) and looked across the room. I saw this beautiful woman, sitting at a table full of dirty glasses and I could have heard a pin drop. I said to my friend Jeff, I am going to marry that girl.”

If you believe in love ever after, then I have to say you are in good company. Jim and I are coming up on thirty four years of marriage. He still thinks I am a size five. I am one lucky girl.

I could tell you it has all been wine and roses but that would not be the truth. Anyone who has been in a long term relationship will say HA! to that. It’s true. We have been through our share of thick and thin.

At the start of our marriage, Jim switched careers and went to nursing school (a good move). We had children young (never regretted, also a good move). I started a gourment coffee business, then a major competitor came to town (bummer). We remodeled our house a couple of times. We got a dog, chickens, bees, and a grandson (awesome stuff).

Jim is my biggest cheerleader. He is always behind me; game for almost anything I have a desire to do. He also pushes me to do things I don’t always want to do- like looking at the reality of situations. Or asking me what my motivation is behind doing the things I want to do. When I’m upset about something small, he reminds me I have bigger fish to fry.

If I could describe Jim in a few words it would be “easy does it.” I bought him a license plate for the front of his truck that actually says this, because it is true. He will rarely get fluffed about anything and when he does, he tends to only tell people he really trusts. He isn’t a blabber mouth. He is a man of few words but those words are either hilariously funny or seriously wisdom filled.

I am thankful that God brought Jim and I together. Sometimes when I am troubled, I get up so close to him that he probably cannot breathe. I can feel my heart beat slower and more confidently, just because he is near me. I can hug him for a long time and he will let me.

If I could give advice to any newly married couple it would be this. You cannot be selfish when you are married. In order to have a loving, serious relationship, you have to be unselfish. And you have to have respect for your partner, no matter what. You can disagree, have different opinions, but you have to love and respect them for who they are.

Jim and I work on our marriage. We spend time together and make dates when we know that we have been too busy. Our friends are a huge part of our life. We have separate hobbies but we also love many things mutually- good food, family, and outdoor spaces.

How blessed I have been. Happy Valentine’s Day Jim!

February 13, 2014March 12, 2014

My “Heart Throbs” for You!

Years ago, my first employment right out of college was as a recreation director for a faith based nursing and assisted living ministry.

I had my own office and thought I had reached the pinnacle of employment success. My responsibilities included programming all the activities for 40 nursing wing patients and 40 residents. Meals for them were all provided, meds dispensed, oh and by the way, they were all women.

The average age was 85. It was a challenge to do activities planning with seniors of such limited physical movement. So I planned birthday parties of the month, brought in entertainment, utilized my piano playing skills (yes mom and dad, this did pay off!) and even brought in dogs through an organization that catered to the elderly.

But my absolute favorite activity was Poetry Corner. At first, I had a large turnout but gradually the numbers dwindled. Soon, it was just me and Constance. I loved Constance. She was in her mid 80’s and had alot of spunk. She also had a chaise lounge in her room that I loved. I’ve had a fondness for them ever since! One of these days, I’m going to have myself a chaise lounge.

Constance loved poetry and instilled in me an even greater love of classical poetry. She had two “Heart Throbs” books and we read from them over and over again. If you’ve never heard of them, here is what the inside foreword had to say about volume two: “Following the first announcement of “Heart Throbs” six years ago has come the most fascinating experience ever allotted to publishers. This book, containing 840 selections made from the contributions of 52,000 people, has become a classic in thousands of homes and libraries. The simple bringing together of the favorite selections of the people has far transcended the results of any mere literary or editorial compilations.”

I grew so fond of the books that when I left my employment at the home, I asked Constance if I could have them. She said YES.

Since then, life, marriage, children have all taken precedence. I’ve not looked at the books much but I do bring them out every Valentine’s Day. I happened to think of Constance recently and my heart did a leap. Her face came into perfect view and I can remember her just like it was yesterday.

In honor of Constance, here is one of my favorite poems:

The Arrow and the Song

I shot an arrow into the air

It fell to earth, I knew not where;

For, so swiftly it flew, the sight

Could not follow it in its flight.

I breathed a song into the air,

It fell to earth, I knew not where;

For who has sight so keen and strong,

That it can follow the flight of song?

Long, long afterward, in an oak

I found the arrow, still unbroke;

And the song, from beginning to end,

I found again in the heart of a friend.

Henry W. Longfellow

Happy Valentine’s Day!

February 12, 2012March 12, 2014

Love-ly Thoughts

Isn’t this picture just beautiful? It was created by Izaya Shanti, age 5, for his mother Amanda, in honor of her February birthday. Amanda passed away suddenly two and a half years ago and since then, a bunch of family and friends get together on her birthday to celebrate her life.

Amanda loved pasta so Amy, Joel and Becky (her family) always make a big pasta dinner and invite lots of friends over for a noisy, delicious, wonderful eating/sharing/love celebration. This year, I walked into Amy’s kitchen and this beautiful color drawing was smack dab in the middle of the refrigerator. I love color, lots of color, so I kept sneaking glances at Izaya’s masterpiece all evening long.

If you look closely at the picture, there is another picture in the bottom right corner. It is a magnet, cleverly made by Becky and Amy, from one of Amanda’s original art works. Amy gives us all a little gift each year and this year, the magnet was our gift.

Before we sat down to eat, twenty or so of us all held hands around a generous dinner table and said a great big “thank you!” for our gratitude prayer. It was amazing to be all together to share in the day and stuff ourselves full of pasta and delicious cake.

The evening so inspired me I came home and wrote a quick “Love” poem in honor of Amanda.

Here is it:

Love doesn’t covet…..it shares

Love doesn’t confine….it releases

Love doesn’t fear…..it trusts

Love doesn’t keep count…..it is infinite

Love doesn’t hold grudges….it forgives

Love doesn’t argue….it compromises

Love doesn’t envy….it cherishes

Love doesn’t waver…it has faith

by Katherine’s Daughter, inspired by Amanda’s Birthday

February 1, 2012