Category: Grace and Spirituality

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What My Granddaughter is Teaching Me

Joanne reflects on the wisdom of her three year old granddaughter.

Penny in her summer style.

Life lately has been a bit different. My son John, daughter in law Jessica, and my three year old granddaughter Penny have temporarily come to live with us. After selling their house in the East End of Pittsburgh, they are here until the process of buying their next home is complete.

Of course, when two families merge and share one full bathroom, it’s a bit challenging. But the fulfilling parts of being together far outweigh the minor inconveniences.

John and Jess love to cook whereas Jim and I, after years of it, could honestly care less. Previously resigned to simple meals, we now eat gourmet dinners practically every night. Wonderful fried fish, marinated chicken kebobs, pork medallions, creative vegetables, and delicious burgers. It’s truly been wonderful.

But the true bonus of living together is the joy of Penny. It is almost like experiencing my grandson and daughter (who lived with us for many years) all over again. Yes, at my age there are trying moments. There’s less alone time, more noise, endless toys. However the treasure of so much “small child” time is truly priceless.

For the first couple of weeks after their arrival, Penny and I would be up before anyone else. We’d take my coffee and her milk outside and watch the sun come up. We’d sit there, leaning against each other, and do very little. I figured she was tired so sometimes we didn’t even talk. Penny had witnessed weeks of packing and piles of boxes. Sometimes we just sat on the front porch, floating in a swing I had previously, barely used. Each of us with frosty bowls of strawberry ice cream, the joy of these moments is indescribable.

Penny has reminded me of the wisdom that nothing is really that important. She likes to take her time- what’s the rush after all?- and languish by dancing, singing, or talking to Jordan, our pet. Penny makes us all slow down. Discoveries can be made daily and she has marveled over the simplest things- butterflies, ants, flowers, bees, and birds.

I’m grateful for this time with my granddaughter that may never come again. If I’m feeling a moment of impatience, I only need to think of what it will be like when Penny has moved into her new house. That brings me back to the place I need to be.

“I do not understand the mystery of grace — only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.” 
― Anne Lamott

Join me at my first signature event- Refill Your Cup! I’m so excited to gather with such a great group of speakers and vendors, to encourage rest and relaxation. Here’s the LINK.

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How the Light Gets In

Steph from Findlay Township and Yours Truly, at the Rainbow’s End Playground

Last year I wrote a post about finding a garden at Susquehanna University. It was no ordinary garden. It was a garden that held inspirational rocks with messages of hope and love.

The rock I chose that day held the message, “You are Worth It”. It meant so much to me, especially during this time that I am my mother’s caregiver. Even though I did not have a rock to leave (and it doesn’t matter if you do or don’t), I took that rock home and placed it in my flower pot.

I talked to my daughter’s childhood friend about the garden I found. Having researched the Kindness Rocks Project Garden website, I knew I wanted to have one in my hometown of Clinton,  PA. Steph, who works in the recreation department for Findlay Township, said “Sure!”. Last November we held a community event and painted rocks. They were beautiful!

On Saturday, April 28, 2018, it was a rainy, chilly morning. A social media site popped up on my phone and said it was “Pay It Forward” day.  Wow, I thought, There are no coincidences! Starting this garden was a wonderful way to pay forward the inspiration I found last year.

I checked my weather app at 9:30 am and it said the rain was stopping in 15 minutes. I arrived at the Rainbow’s End Playground in Clinton Park, and indeed, the rain was ceasing. Minutes after 10 am, the sun came out from behind a cloud and shone down on us.

Here comes the Sun!

I knew this was a magnificent sign. God always reveals the light whenever we need it, doesn’t (s)He? We all have those moments when we need to know that we are on the right track. Having a project where I can do for others, without thought of payment or obligation, is what I’m about these days. There are some things you just cannot put a price on. This is one of them.

When I placed the rock I found last year into our Kindness Rocks Garden, I had a special feeling. I knew that is where it belonged. It was ready to make someone else feel loved and special. When I visit the university this June, I am going to take one of our rocks and place it in their garden. Yes, full circle.

I want to thank Steph from the bottom of my heart. She made my dream come true. I want to thank all of my family and friends who painted and participated. Special thanks to Armstrong Telephone, Chris Caruso of Findlay Township, Sue, and both the Parks and Recreation, and Road Departments. Without all of them, this garden would not be a reality.

If you live in the area, please come and visit! Take a rock if one inspires you! I’d love if you would take a picture if you do come and share it on our Facebook page. Findlay Township Kindness Rocks Project. (please like and follow us!)

Here’s more pictures from our dedication!

 

 

 

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Rebirth

Photo by Joshua Earle

What is spiritual adversity? I actually had to do a bit of research before I wrote this post. The word came up when I was looking for a quote for rebirth. Funny how looking for one thing leads you to another.

Have you ever been through something so difficult it rocks you to your core? I’m sure that while you are reading this you can think of more than one time in your life when you’ve been challenged. How did you get through it? If it is happening to you now, how are you coping?

When I went through spiritual adversity twenty years ago, I had very little tools. I relied upon myself. I didn’t want to bother other people. I kept my sadness to myself and isolated. Depression inched in and I felt as if I was down in a deep well.

Finally I knew I had to do something. I reached out for help and guess what, people helped me. They threw a rope down the well and pulled me out slowly. I started to see the light. The light was bright and shiny.

When I began my ascent, I was willing to talk to other people about how they had overcome adversity. They shared their own struggles, life lessons, and stories of renewal. They were a beacon of hope.

It became clear that people who relied on a power greater than themselves were the ones who were doing better in their struggles. If you prefer, you can go ahead and do it all by yourself. I tried that and it didn’t work. Heavenly power keeps me more centered, happier, and yes, healthier.

This spiritual adversity was the beginning of my new life. It gave me tools in my toolbox. I have used those tools many times since.

For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.  Isiah 41:13

Special greetings to those celebrating Palm Sunday, Easter or Passover today. 

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Savor the Moments

My 60th birthday lunch!

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and holiday season. Can you believe it is 2018? It’s here!

For the past several years I’ve treated myself to a Word of the Year.  Why? It’s a compass for guidance and motivation to study and work on myself. In the past I’ve chosen Joy, Believe, and Happiness for my words of the year.

How do I use the word? I simply keep it in my thoughts, meditations, and prayers. If I am faced with a challenging situation, I bring my word to mind and contemplate how I can use it to change my perspective. I always choose positive words (never negative), and you would not believe how a simple word can change a depressing problem into a spiritual opportunity. I choose books, readings, and podcasts that also help me study my wonderful word.

The last few weeks the word SAVOR has popped into my head over and over again. I looked up the definition and here’s what I found:

SAVOR: noun

1. The quality in a substance that affects the sense of taste or of smell.

2. A particular taste or smell.

3. Distinctive quality or property.

4. Power to excite or interest.

Source: Dictionary.com

I love the fourth definition! The Power to Excite or Interest. What do I intend to SAVOR, to be excited about? Well, many things! I want to savor time, tastes, and experiences. As a Greek American, I love wonderful food, especially if it is shared with family and friends.

I want to savor moments with my family, especially my grandchildren, as I know how precious these times really are. My wedding families give me the opportunity to savor, and this is not just about the cookie table! God has placed me in this position to make a difference in the lives of brides, grooms, their parents and guests. I’m there to keep the calm, take the stress off the day, and use my knowledge and gifts to oversee a day they will not forget.

I also want to be more mindful of how and what I eat. Healthier choices, less guilt, and more savoring are important to me. I’ve been conscious lately of slowing down and enjoying my food. This is hard for a busy person like me. I often eat with other things in mind (like what I have to do next!). I can also be an emotional eater (chocolate!) so I’m really trying to acknowledge my feelings when I’m stressed or worried.

It is coming up on five years that I left a full time position to help my mother. It’s hard to believe its been that long. Sometimes hard, always rewarding, I feel like I can finally breathe a bit better about the future and where I am going. This is not for everyone but I am glad I chose this route. There’s a book submission in my future and this is the topic I have chosen to write about- Caring for our Elderly Parents. If you are assisting an elderly parent(s) in any way, even if you are working part or full time, and have a story to share, I want to hear from you. Email me at joannejamiscain@gmail.com.

As you savor your New Year, I hope you take the time to make one positive change. Maybe choose your own word, start a gratitude journal, begin a three minute meditation practice, or start an exercise program. Touch base with me occasionally and let me know how you’re doing. I look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

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Amazing Things Are No Coincidence

The definition of happiness. Thank you to my sisters and everyone who gave us photos.

If you’ve been following my blog for a while you know that I don’t believe in coincidences. I believe that God is at work, making things real, bringing people together and spinning His magnificent magic.

There have been a couple of things that happened recently that drove this home even further for me. My son was married on Labor Day weekend and so many wonderful and amazing things happened. I want to share some details that I’m still in awe about.

Amazing thing #1-

About an hour before the church ceremony we realized that Penny’s dress was at home. This was fine except we were half an hour away at the church when we realized this. I frantically called my sister in laws, managed to reach one of them, and fifteen minutes before the ceremony, they arrived with dress in hand. Penny walked down the aisle like nothing ever happened.

If my future daughter in law would not have said to me, “So where is Penny’s dress?” when she did, Penny might have walked down the aisle in her old pink onesie. Ha! Thankfully, that didn’t happen.

Both Beautiful- Penny with her cousin Deanna

Amazing Thing  #2-

A blogger friend of mine, Daleen of Sunday’s Child, happened to be on the east coast from the west coast just days before the wedding. We have been phone friends for five years, sharing stories and encouragement in all walks of life, and here she was (and her lovely husband to boot), coming near me for the first time ever.

Almost a year ago Daleen and I realized this could happen. I kept hoping (and praying) the timing would work out and yes folks, it did. The night before the wedding Jim and I met Daleen and Bruce in the lobby of the Pittsburgh Hyatt (surreal!!) and whisked them to the rehearsal dinner. Wedding day dawned and we met for an early breakfast in the hotel. It was then that Daleen did the unimaginable. She offered to come over my house and gather the sunflowers into bouquets for Jess, Michelene, and Jana (and others!).

When we arrived at my house I ran around getting things together while Daleen made bouquets. The mason jars of fresh sunflowers from McConnells’ Farm were already together and I made yellow rose boutonnieres the day before. I decided to use soda pop plastic holders to contain the mason jars (genius!) and Bruce and Jim loaded everything into the car for the trip to the church.

When I nearly had a meltdown over Penny’s dress, Daleen and Bruce calmly offered to go and get it. Thankfully that wasn’t necessary but still, wow, what an offer.

Top row, L to R, Presbytera Anna and Me. Bottom, L to R, Daleen and Bruce, friend Lillian

Amazing Thing #3-

My sister Mary and I made a rogue Greek CD of music to play at the wedding. I wanted to do the official bridal dance while Jim splashed money over John and Jess. We had a blues band at the wedding- Eugene and the Night Crawlers (yes, that is really their name)- and I called Eugene a couple weeks before the wedding to see if he had a CD player attached to his speakers.

“Yes M’am”, he said. Ok, I figured we were all set except when it came time to play the song, Eugene’s CD player was one of those compact Walkmans from probably ten years ago. The disc was spinning but nothing was coming out of the speakers.

After a few tense minutes, my son wandered over and used his IT skills to diagnose the problem. I said a silent prayer something like, “God, help me. Can you please make this happen?”

Within two minutes, my sister had downloaded the song on her iphone and we plugged it into the speakers. Out came the official bridal dance song, played at just about every Greek wedding I’ve ever been to. We danced our hearts out to that one song.

Where was God? Everywhere. He was just ……everywhere. The icing on the cake was the comment Daleen made to me after the wedding. She said that Bruce’s definition of happiness from now on was going to be my face as I walked down the aisle. His definition of radiant? Jessica, as she walked down the aisle.

Radiant Bride and Handsome Groom

There are amazing things going on in our life every day. Instead of taking those wonderful moments for granted, or chalking them up to luck, think again. It’s the spiritual that really makes those things happen. I’m still in awe over my son’s wedding and thankful for the many blessings then and now.

My Family! From L to R, Cally, Me, Mom, Mary

A load of gratitude to my sisters who took great care of my mother the week before and week after the wedding. Thank you so much!!

Blessings to Ann, Jess’ mom, who is recovering from health issues. Please say a prayer for her.

There are more pictures on my Katherine’s Daughter Event’s blog. Click HERE for the link.

 

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Serenity at the Beach

Joanne Jamis Cain- Siesta Key Beach

“In every out thrust headland, in every curving beach, in every grain of sand there is the story of the earth.”
― Rachel Carson

I look forward to it every year. Some way, some how I get to the beach. It’s not a matter of maybe, it is a matter of when and how.

Thankfully my mom, sisters, and I have made this happen for the past three years. We have been vacationing together for one week on beautiful Siesta Key beach. My mother’s brother Steve and his wife, my Aunt KC, made this happen. They were the ones that encouraged and suggested it. (thank you!)

Mom is coming up on her 88th birthday but she is always game. She loves to see everyone from her hometown and hang out with her three daughters. This year Jim’s Aunt Joy and her daughter Donna came down for an afternoon. Both my cousins, Nick and Steve came down too which made it extra special. I missed Kristen but I did get to see Olivia. It was Taylor’s (my cousin Steve’s daughter) 18th birthday and well, that only happens in once a lifetime.

The family gets in on Taylor’s Birthday!

What can I tell you about this amazing vacation? There were so many wonderful moments- seafood at the oyster bar, the Greek restaurant in St. Pete’s, breakfast on the lanai with the view of the ocean, sunsets to make your heart stop. Siesta Key is truly paradise. White sand, weather in the high 70’s, palm trees outside your window…even weddings on the beach.

If you think you don’t have time for a vacation think again. You must make it happen.  You have to book the week, save your dollars and pennies, and GO. (I hope we can go for two weeks next time!) If you wait, wait, wait, you will never go. Then when you are old you will say, “the heck, why didn’t we take more vacations?”

It seems as soon as I get one hour outside of home my brain begins to relax. I forget about meal planning, responsibilities, bills, you name it. I stick my toe in the sand and sit in my beach chair. There are mini sandwiches in the cooler, cold water bottles, chips, and fruit. I stuck my arm out with a small piece of sandwich in my hand and a seagull took it. No kidding!

We had a challenging stove and between Mary and me we burnt pancakes, hamburgers, and fried eggplant. Oh well! So what! It’s vacation! Many things turned out delicious. Scrambled eggs with basil and tomato. Honestly, I don’t remember much else but everything we ate was wonderful.

I’m going to share some pictures (if you haven’t seen them on Facebook already) so you can motivate yourself to book a vacation. Till next time!

Lunch at Phillippi Creek Oyster Bar.

Flowers Everywhere.

The Acropolis Taverna, St. Pete

Sun kissed and happy at Siesta Key Oyster Bar.

My Sisters Eating Oysters! Notice the money all over the walls!

Donna, Aunt Joy, Moi, and Mom.

The Jamis Girls eating Gelato.

Aqua Water So Clear!

Orange Dusk. Breathtaking.

 

 

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Faith with a Dose of Uncertainty

I’m sitting here in a sunny window, listening to my dog Jordan chomp on the new soup bone my daughter bought her. She is most assuredly enjoying every moment, every bite of that delicious bone. Snow has fallen the last two days and it looks like a Norman Rockwell painting outside.

I saw the headlines today and there is a sadness in the pit of my stomach. I’m trying to process what is going on. It would be really scary if it wasn’t so absurd.

My grandparents came over on the boat from Greece and Turkey. They came for the opportunity to have a better life. Each generation since has lived that better life and much of it is owed to my grandparents. When I think of the hardships they faced, the Great Depression, no knowledge of the English language, I am filled with admiration for them.

Yiayia and Papou

I don’t know, I’m not sure, but I think that time will tell. “It will unfold” as I like to say. And as always, it is faith that will get me through the hardest parts. Keeping silent has been difficult at times; I don’t believe in slander, sharing slanted websites, or name calling. That doesn’t work for me.

So for today, I will take nuggets of happiness where I can find them. I will listen to Jordan eating her bone and I will watch the cardinals come to my bird feeder. I’m feeling a bit under the weather so there’s a pot of soup on the stove. Soon the smell of onions, garlic, and chicken will fill the air. I will pick out a great movie and watch it with wild abandon.

Courage is fear that has said its prayers. Karle Wilson Baker

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Grace and Wellness

sunlight-through-the-fog-2

With the help of a good friend I am beginning a journey towards better self care. It’s not that I wasn’t good at it before but you know how it goes. Get busy, neglect sleep, eat poorly, and forget the exercise. The typical stuff of a mid life woman who tries to do too much.

I procrastinated about this wellness focus for months, waiting until my schedule finally cleared enough to give mental space (and energy) to the idea. My friend said to do this alittle at a time (thank God) and she sent me encouraging emails with her own health and wellness tips.

First up, a plant in my room. Sounds so simple but a plant provides oxygen and that can only be good. Second, I ordered a good book- Food Rules by Michael Pollan. I couldn’t resist skimming the first few chapters and wasn’t surprised. Eat more plants and don’t eat things that have more than five ingredients on the package. Right!

Of course it was a few days before Thanksgiving when I read this. I gave thought to what I was going to be eating on the holiday. Turkey, well, only one ingredient there. Baked yams and pineapple, pretty good.  Hawaiian rolls, probably not so good but delicious. Mashed potatoes made with Yukon golds, butter, and a little cream. I thought this really wasn’t so bad.

The pumpkin pie was made from a can that needed condensed milk and eggs. Mom made homemade crust with flour and crisco, a big no no I’m sure but heck, it’s the holiday right? Plus I am not going to tell mom not to make pie. 🙂

All in all, I would say I did not overeat on Thanksgiving. I felt fine afterwards. I cleaned up the kitchen and sealed up leftovers for the next day. No need to cook dinner tonight!

I think the hardest thing about health and wellness for me is putting myself first. Life is ongoing around my house. There are always things to do and some kind of agenda. Even though I no longer work full time, I have a million mundane things to do (laundry, housekeeping, dog, babysit Penny, help my mother). Prioritizing is key. The one gift of menopause has been the recognition that I can’t do it all. I don’t feel guilty saying no anymore. I’ve done the committees, the grunge work, the volunteering. It’s ok by me to say no.

Making an effort at better self care is good. Not feeling guilty about what I don’t accomplish is a challenge. Setting realistic expectations is the order of the day. The grace is in turning it over to the universe.

I hope you have a wonderful week! If you have any tips for self care, I’d love to hear them.

 

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My First Book! Ordinary IS Extraordinary

My first book! The Beautiful Cover is by Karen Captline of Better Be Creative
My first book! The beautiful cover is by Karen Captline of Better Be Creative. Editing by Daleen Wilson of Sunday’s Child.

Today is a special day. I am sharing my first book with you! The excitement of this has been building over the last couple of months and I am over the moon about it. This weekend I will be speaking at the women’s empowerment conference in Ligonier, PA and sharing my story.

When I received the first early copies of my book, I gave one to the mother of my granddaughter Penelope. Jessica is my friend and the partner of my son John. She is the manager of the Habitat for Humanity Restore in Allegheny Valley, PA.

As luck would have it, Jessica, Penelope and I went on a little field trip yesterday. We visited another Restore and stopped for lunch afterwards. We talked about how to market my book and Jess offered to do a review for me. I took her up on the offer!

So here, without any further ado, are Jessica’s thoughts on “Ordinary IS Extraordinary.”

When I read Ordinary IS Extraordinary I was nursing my infant daughter, Penelope, and read most of it out loud to her.
We cried at different parts for different reasons…
I had tears in my eyes when Joanne shared her journey of rediscovering her faith and loving herself.  I smiled as I pictured her as an awkward young person.  Looking down at Penny while we read, I couldn’t help wondering if she would face some of the same challenges in life.
I was inspired by Joanne’s discoveries of growth, as the lens she saw both the world and herself through, changed as her experiences colored the glass.
When I closed the book..I found myself savoring so much of her insights, that I let out a huge breath I didn’t know I was holding…and with it a burden I didn’t realize was there.  As for Penelope, she always loves hearing her Nana’s adventures, even when she’s hungry.
Grab a cup of Jo, your favorite snack, and devote a morning or afternoon to walking in her footsteps.  I know you’ll enjoy the landscape.  The writing is honest and you’ll feel as though she is sitting across from you on that lounge chair, having a coffee, sharing in your delight along the way.
From Jessica Levine

John, Jess, and Penelope Katherine
John, Jess, and Penelope Katherine

Jessica, thank you so much for your beautiful words!

Click HERE to order my book on Amazon. There’s a Kindle version too! You may want to order two books ;), one for you and one for a friend.

When you read Ordinary IS Extraordinary, I’d love to hear from you! Please email me at joannejamiscain@gmail.com with your thoughts. If you are a blogger that writes on spirituality, I would be happy to send you a book to review.

Thank you and God Bless!

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Looking for God

Jess, the Mom to Be
Jess, the Mom to Be

I tend to watch for signs in nature as a way of looking for God. In the past when I had problems that needed to be sorted out, I found solace many times in my own back yard. For instance, if I am troubled about something, I can usually look out my window and there will be one or more deer. Some times they come close to my house; other times they are at a distance. For me deer mean comfort, wait, or it will all work out.

What if everything and everyone we come in contact with in a given day is spiritually directed? What if God puts people and objects in our lives and in our path to comfort, strengthen, and lead us? Or maybe interaction with others is for a reason. We are there to provide assistance in some way. I believe God gives us free will to do what we please, but if we pay attention, we will be reinforced or led in good choices through spiritual direction.

When I do something I am proud of (and outside of my comfort zone), wild turkeys usually appear. Once I did a large amount of work for a non profit and nine wild turkeys made a procession through my yard the day after the fundraiser. It never fails. If I am stretching myself spiritually, I will usually see turkeys.

If I am lost or need strength I look for birds of flight. They will sometimes fly near to my car when I am driving. If they are red or blue (cardinals or blue jays), I especially pay attention. Long woodpeckers (pileated) are a rare sighting and usually cause for me to stop what I am doing and stare. I have several hawks that fly around my house. My spiritual friend Kathy witnessed this once and said, “It is a very powerful totem to have hawks around you.” I agree. I am never scared by them, I am empowered by them.

So it was that on the day of my future granddaughter’s shower, there were signs. The first one was around 9:30am in the morning when Jim and I were loading the truck. A tiny bird with a black head flew into the house. I’m guessing it was a chickadee. Now in the thirty four years of living in my house, I can’t remember a single instance when a bird has flown in. Jim didn’t remember anything either.

The bird flew into the living room and straight for the large picture window. Jim opened the front door and propped open the storm door. He lifted our wooden slat blinds gently towards him, allowing the tiny bird an opportunity for escape. She took it and flew out to freedom.

Now you may have thought this was a huge inconvenience. You’re loading a truck, getting ready for a big day, and a bird flies into your house! And for a split second I thought this way. Then I laughed and said to Jim, “That is either my yiayia (grandmother) or my father.” When we went outside, there was an entire clammoring tree of birds, singing at the top of their lungs. What was this? A chorus perhaps, to set the tone for the day.

The second sign I had was when I arrived at the location for the shower. I parked the truck next to the ramp at the nature center so my daughter and I (and Stephanie our helper) could unload. I got out of the truck and looked down. There was a brand new shiny copper penny at my feet.

My future granddaughter’s name is Penelope Katherine. Penny is one of the nicknames we could call her.

I picked up that shiny penny and thought yet another beautiful sign.

As the morning went on, we managed to get everything ready in time. Guests came from near and far to bestow gifts on Jess and John for Penelope. We ate awesome cookies, cupcakes, and snacks. It was a wonderful day.

Here’s what spiritual signs do for me. They comfort me, they reinforce God’s great love for me. When I love myself, I can love others unconditionally. Spiritual signs tell me I am going in the right direction. I thank God for them.

Jess and John at the baby shower
Jess and John at the baby shower

To read more about the shower on my events blog, click HERE.

Do you have any spiritual signs that you look for? If so, I’d love to hear about them.

Dedicated to the people of Paris. Pray for Peace.

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