Stretching Spiritually

Two views of local Extension leaders drilling ...
(Photo credit: Cornell University Library)

Just like I exercise to keep my body limber, I believe in exercises that stretch me spiritually. Whether or not I’m in a good place emotionally or mentally, focusing on what I can do to make myself a better person is the stuff good growth is made of.

A few years ago I challenged myself to write down a few things a day I was grateful for. Even though it may not seem so, some days it was hard to come up with one thing. Some days I had a longer list; those were good days.

As I kept up this exercise, I found it became easier and easier to recognize things I could be grateful for. The sunrise, a good meal, time with my kids or husband, a joke that made me laugh out loud; these made my list. I kept an inexpensive journal next to my bed and tried to write something worthwhile each night. What all this brought about was a shift. A shift in thinking how really lucky I was to have so many blessings and grace in my life.

My next exercise challenge was three things a day. This challenge was to do three things a day for someone (any one’s) welfare but not to tell anyone else about it. This was definitely a challenge. I am a good talker and storyteller- wanna -be.

: Parking meter
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So I put coins in parking meters that were about to expire, I lit candles in church for someone who was suffering, I mailed personal notes of love or encouragement to friends. I gave canned goods to the food bank, smiled at strangers and said have a wonderful day! I offered my arm to someone older who needed the stability to cross the street.

The reward? A serious reduction in the world revolving around me. Also, a shift in Ego, the loud mouth in my brain who likes to say “It’s all about me baby!”. Extra reward: peace, serenity, balance.

I still do things every day that I don’t tell anyone about. I figure it’s between me and God. She knows. She smiles down on me and keeps me going in the right direction. She gave me some extra responsibilities lately and I’m trying to show her I’m up to the task. Obviously, she believes in me.

Love-ly Thoughts

Heart by Izaya Shanti

Isn’t this picture just beautiful? It was created by Izaya Shanti, age 5, for his mother Amanda, in honor of her February birthday. Amanda passed away suddenly two and a half years ago and since then, a bunch of family and friends get together on her birthday to celebrate her life.

Amanda loved pasta so Amy, Joel and Becky (her family) always make a big pasta dinner and invite lots of friends over for a noisy, delicious, wonderful eating/sharing/love celebration. This year, I walked into Amy’s kitchen and this beautiful color drawing was smack dab in the middle of the refrigerator. I love color, lots of color, so I kept sneaking glances at Izaya’s masterpiece all evening long.

If you look closely at the picture, there is another picture in the bottom right corner. It is a magnet, cleverly made by Becky and Amy, from one of Amanda’s original art works. Amy gives us all a little gift each year and this year, the magnet was our gift.

Before we sat down to eat, twenty or so of us all held hands around a generous dinner table and said a great big “thank you!” for our gratitude prayer. It was amazing to be all together to share in the day and stuff ourselves full of pasta and delicious cake.

The evening so inspired me I came home and wrote a quick “Love” poem in honor of Amanda.

Here is it:

Love doesn’t covet…..it shares

Love doesn’t confine….it releases

Love doesn’t fear…..it trusts

Love doesn’t keep count…..it is infinite

Love doesn’t hold grudges….it forgives

Love doesn’t argue….it compromises

Love doesn’t envy….it cherishes

Love doesn’t waver…it has faith

by Katherine’s Daughter, inspired by Amanda’s Birthday

February 1, 2012

Happy Birthday Chargeman!

Bad Girls (song)
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It was May 10, 1980. The location? A disco filled with pulsing strobe lights, dancing bodies and the sounds of Donna Summer singing “Bad Girls”. I had just arrived to meet up with some old college girlfriends. They were all getting up to dance. I said I needed a minute to relax. Next thing you know, a handsome young man in a lime green leisure suit asks me if he can sit down and talk. I told him (in a stern voice) to keep moving.

I watched him walk slowly around the room again and make his way back towards me. Feeling like a jerk, I let my guard down and told him he could have a seat. We talked for the rest of the night. I loved to play pinball so we did that together for a while. I wouldn’t let him buy me a drink without reciprocating. He walked me to my car and asked me out on a date.

What a handsome young boy!

One year later we were walking down the aisle together. It has been 30 years since then and today, Jim turns 55 years old.

It is hard to believe we have been together this long. Where have the years gone? We both have thickening middles and we move a bit slower these days. And, as anyone who has been married for a while will tell you, it ain’t always easy. But obviously I was attracted to the right guy because things have just worked out.

Jim has had various nicknames over the years but Chargeman is one of my favorites. This is a name given to him years ago by a group of women who worked with him at the hospital (he’s an RN). I don’t even remember the story much but I think it’s a Superman- like designation. And, he really is a “Chargeman”.

Here’s why. I think God has given Jim a special mission. He was born to help others. If he sees someone in distress, he steps up to the plate. He’s taught me alot about honesty and about “owning it”. Owning it means fessing up to what you are doing and taking responsibility for your own actions. He genuinely wants to live a life of service and help his fellow man.

The "Love Children"

Jim has given me the gift of two great children and subsequently, my grandson. Our kids are the highlight of our union together. We have all been through thick and thin and thankfully, by the Grace of God, we all get along and actually (really!) enjoy spending time together!

A long time ago, we finally gave away the lime green leisure suit. It hung for years in our closet. (I think neither one of us wanted to give it away!) Jim’s favorite movie when we met was “Saturday Night Fever”. We watched it together not too long ago and had a good chuckle!

If you know Jim, be sure and wish him a Happy Birthday today!

Is it Odd or is it God?

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Weird things have been happening to me lately when I publish my blog posts. Maybe they are not so much weird as they have been possible signs (to me) that maybe, just maybe, I am walking down the right path….

Here’s an example. On the exact day I published my last post “To Amy, With Love”, a new client came into my work place. Usually I never ask a new client what their address is but I had a few moments so I thought, what the heck? Here’s how the conversation went:

ME: Sue, I’d like to add your address to our database. Can you tell me what it is please?

SUE: Sure, it’s 1234 JOE CAIN LANE (blah blah blah city state zip)

ME: (incredulous) I can’t believe it. My name is Joanne Cain. My friends call me Jo Cain. Really? You live on Joe Cain Lane?

HER: Yes I do. (chuckle) Well, that is really a coincidence. I have an Aunt Joanne by the way.

ME: Really? How does she spell her name? Small “a”, with an “e” on the end?

SUE: Yes. Just like yours.

To top this all off, I went to leave for lunch and I almost put HER coat it. It was exactly like mine. Same brand, style and size.

(Yes, I thought about buying a lottery ticket that day!)

Is it odd, or is it God? What do you think?

To Amy, With Love

A few years ago my husband Jim and I were invited, by our good friends Amy and Joel, to spend a weekend in a cabin among the beautiful tall trees of Cook Forest.

If you have never been to Cook Forest, it is worth the drive. It is a rustic, back- in- time, beautiful kind of state park. It is lush with trees, big rocks, streams (you can go canoeing!) and of course the usual little gift shops. It’s very spiritual and a great place to unwind.

That weekend Jim, Joel and I got to the cabin ahead of Amy. Amy was riding up with her daughter Becky. Apparently it had been a long drive because when Amy got out of the truck, the first thing she did was bend over, grab a flat rock and turn it over.

I missed this somehow but Jim caught sight of it. He said to me later, “Did you see what Amos (our pet name for Amy) did when she got here?” He clued me in. What this meant was, something frustrating had gone on in the truck and Amy, in her wisdom, decided to turn it over.

Turn it over means let it go. Sometimes it can mean look at it in a different way. Other times it means I’m so angry I can hardly think!

Amy and her grandbaby, Willow

Amy has been an example to me of how to turn it over. She has had some troubling things happen to her in the last couple of years…. things that would have sent others over the edge. She just keeps going, keeps turning it over, keeps faith in her core. I can have the worst possible day going but if I see Amy, I always feel better.

Sometimes we all need an extra prayer. This week is a trying week for Amy as some memories are front and center. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. I’d really appreciate it. Thank you and have a blessed day!

What Water Aerobics Class is Really Like

My husband and I are taking a water aerobics class. Lest you immediately picture a group of svelte, toned swimmers doing sleek, calculated aerobic moves in an Olympic size pool, let me clue you in. This class is definitely not a group of Baywatch babes!

There are about a dozen or so participants in our class. I would say the age range is probably anywhere from 50- 70. Nobody is thin. We all complain about aches and pains, which is the main reason we are there. We are trying to get a bit more healthy.

The class is held at a local school, through our township. It is unbelievably cheap. A whole series of nine classes is $48 per person. Sometimes I can’t believe my husband (Jim) was game to take this class with me. He has had some health issues and I thought he’d laugh at the idea when I asked him if he was interested. But to my surprise, he said yes.

Here’s how a typical class goes. All of us warm up by walking around in a large circle in the shallow end of the pool. Occasionally, our instructor (Leslie) shouts “THE OTHER WAY!” which means we turn around and start walking the other way. This causes the water to swirl and creates resistance. It’s a good way to warm up.

After warm up, we usually launch into some kicks and stretches below the water level. Leslie likes to mix it up and we get to work with weights (they float!), noodles and these circular stretchy things that go around our ankles. We do some laps too as part of our hour. The class is definitely a work out. There is however, no pressure to push beyond what we individually are comfortable doing. Thank goodness or I never would have lasted long in this class.

Here’s my challenging part of class. Our instructor is younger than us and has yet to experience the drop in hearing that comes with age 50+. The pool is in a large room that echoes. To complicate matters, Leslie likes to play loud music (upbeat stuff like Flash Dance) via a CD player near the back wall of the pool. As you can well imagine, I spend most of my class time trying to read Leslie’s lips.

This past week, Leslie created “stations” all around the parameter of the shallow end of the pool. Each station had a note card (encased in plastic of course) that gave you a different exercise to do. Leslie is very creative but she is not always a good communicator. So though I tried to get a good grip on the entirety of this exercise, I never really understood exactly how it was to work.

Apparently I was not the only one confused. A bunch of us (slightly deaf ones like me) kept looking at each other and saying “what’s next”? If I asked Leslie, she always helped me figure it out but I hated asking her every time. After a couple turns of the stations, I had a light bulb moment. No one was giving me a hard time, no one really cared that I didn’t get it. Everyone kind of did their own thing. So that is what I did.

At one point I looked around and we were all participating and splashing. It was fun, healthy and ok. It didn’t matter how I did it. It just mattered that I was there, doing it.

Afterward, when we were done with the stations, we did our (ending) cool down stretches. Leslie asked what we thought of the stations. Most of us liked it. One woman said it was not enough of a work out for her. Jim and I discussed this later and decided this woman was just not really digging in. I think this was just our way of siding with Leslie. We really like her.

Did you ever do something you weren’t really good at but you plugged away at it anyway? Because when you were all done, you felt really good about the way it made you feel? And even though you knew you didn’t look all that good while doing it, who cares?  If you’ve ever had a moment like this, share it with me!

God is in the Parking Spaces

I try not to take my peaceful state of mind these days for granted. Blessed in many ways, there was a period in my life when my faith was not in a good place. Some sad events were going on that had me thinking I was being punished for some bad deed(s) I had committed somewhere along the lines of my life. I wasn’t even sure what the deeds were. I was caught up a depression, the likes of which I had never experienced.

There was a group of friends who saw me through this bad period. They shared their own experiences, strength and hope with me. Not necessarily church goers, they none the less had their core grounded in a power greater than themselves.

For a while, they were the source of my everyday strength. When I was down, they lifted me up. When I was fine, they encouraged me to grow. They hung out with me when I was depressed. I got tired sometimes of their relentless optimisms, but I kept coming back for more. I envied their serenity and peace of mind. They were willing to cede unmanageable parts of their life to God.

Little by little, their faith began to seep into my heart. My friends were living happy lives, though not necessarily problem- free. I was getting brave enough to give faith a new go.

English: Parking spaces, Moira They run parall...
Say a prayer!

Around this time I owned a street front business with challenging parking. Many times, I would arrive with supplies to unload only to find no parking spaces available. One day I decided to ask God to have a space available to me when I got there. Miraculously, there was a space waiting for me, right across the street from my store. I thought hmmmm, probably just a coincidence. The next time I did the same thing. Prayed. Parking space again. Then, bravely, I started to ask for parking in other areas of the city. Again, I would almost always find a space when I needed it.

This tiny turning over was the sprout of my renewed faith. I slowly began to turn over (i.e. give up control of!) my slightly more annoying problems and ask for help. I didn’t ask that it be done my way. I didn’t have the strength for that and besides, my way was not working.  Slowly, my problems began to get solved. I really didn’t do anything but pray for help and WAIT.

It takes some self control not to force solutions. Personally, I like to be in charge and call the shots. But there is a calm and peace in not feeling compelled to solve every problem or climb every mountain. Letting my faith take over is a heck of a lot less stressful.

Today, my life is in a better place. It’s not always perfect (far from it!) but today I live day to day knowing that whatever life throws at me, things will work out if I just have faith. One of my friends once said, God never hurries but he’s always on time. I find that to be true time and time again.

Thanks for stopping by my space!

Get ready! Saturday is Jammie Day!

Calvin and Hobbes
Saturdays are for relaxing!

I have been really busy lately. It will be June before my five day work week becomes a four day work week. And as Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes!) would say, the days are just packed. So in order to ward off a winter meltdown, I have invented a new Saturday morning splurge for myself. I fondly call it Jammie Time.

Just in case you think I am talking about grape jam or orange marmalade, let me clarify. I am talking about pajamas. Wonderful, warm and soft pajamas. Last Saturday, I happened to stay in my pajamas until NOON and did not do any form of work. I reveled in the simplicity of an endless pot of coffee, numerous favorite shows in my DVR and a pot of chicken soup simmering on the stove. What luxury! What decadence!

Lest you think I have completely lost my mind, remember I am an over-doer. Sitting around in my jammies until Noon is kind of a no-no. I usually have a line up of things to do, people to meet, goals to reach. But even God took one day off. Why not me too?

I loved my Saturday morning so much, I want to spread the idea of Jammie Time! I want to encourage everyone to have JT at least one morning a week. The catch is, you cannot do something you consider to be work. Maybe your idea of relaxation is baking. Maybe it’s knitting or reading. Whatever it may be, just go for it! Just don’t go and clean out your extra storage room. That is not relaxing!

By the way, I have to mention my new favorite pair of jammies. They are from Soma, a beautiful store at the mall. They are all cotton and oh so soft. The top is a red Henley and the bottoms are decorated with little black and white penguins that have red scarfs around their necks. They are totally silly jammies but I love them.

It is so worth it to set aside time to regroup and recharge our batteries. Join the bandwagon and embrace Jammie Time! Let me know your favorite JT activity(ies). And spread the word!

Jordan, the Wonder Dog

I’d like you to meet a special member of my family. This is Ms. Jordan. Just like any other family who has a beloved pet, we think Jordan is just the icing on the cake. We are not sure of her exact breed, but obviously she is a lab/retriever mix. And, she seems to have the gifted traits of both of those breeds.

We didn’t have to pay a cent for Jordan. My daughter Michelene was at a friend’s house one day and when she came out to her car to leave, there was a buttery colored pup sitting by her car tire. Mickey said it’s as if Jordan was saying  “what’s happening! what are we doing next!?” Mickey knew where Jordan lived so she walked to the house, knocked on the door and inquired as to her availability. The next thing you know, she was ours.

Jordan has been with us almost five years now. Her biggest claim to fame is her reputation as a fearless hunter. She will not allow any wild animals in her yard. Raccoons, groundhogs, possums, beware! She grabs any intruder by the scuff of the neck and they are (gulp) history. 

The reason for this? One reason could be our chickens. We have a coop on our property that is home to nine chickens. When Jordan was maybe a year old, a possum got into the chicken coop in early spring (in the middle of the night!) and the noise should have woke the dead. As soon as we opened the door to the coop Jordan moved in and that poor possum never knew what hit it.

Since then, Jordan has become very protective of the chickens (we call them “the girls”). Every morning, Jordan checks the girls with Jim (my SO) to make sure everyone is ok. When all have been accounted for, Jordan receives her prize: the oh so yummy treat of a fresh egg.  Jordan lays it on the ground, cracks it open gently, licks out the insides, then delicately eats the shell. To watch an 80 lb dog eat something so gently just makes you shake your head in amazement.

The chasing of small prey though has unfortunately had its consequences. Jordan has compromised the ACL muscle in her back right leg. At first, she would limp on and off but gradually this became more of a problem. We took her to the vet, xrays were done and options were discussed. Low and behold, Jordan now wears a harness with a flexible leg cuff that enables her to live just about normally.

The harness/cuff apparatus was an expensive package($400- $500).  Coincidentally (or not!), I received a bonus from work just about the same time we realized Jordan was going to need the harness. Not long after I got the news of the price of the harness, I was in my car. I couldn’t help but feel sad and sorry for myself over spending my bonus on this expensive apparatus. Geez, easy come easy go, I thought. As I was driving the two lane road to work, I noticed a large semi truck coming towards me, on the other side. This truck had a fancy wind deflector on top of the cab. I looked up at the right moment and noticed the word on the wind deflector: JORDAN.

Well, I burst out in laughter. My anger and irritation vanished. I realized at that moment my bonus money was for Jordan, not me. It came through me, that’s all. This event stayed with me for a while. I honestly believe God sees things coming. He sends gifts (opportunities!) through others because he knows what we are going to need. If we are paying attention, we’ll notice they are truly gifts.

I hope I said thank you that day for the bonus which enabled us to give Jordan the gift of a normal life. If not, I’m saying it now, in front of everyone. Thank you!!

My Idea of Heaven

On my way home there is a spot on the highway where, if the sun is setting and it’s in exactly the right spot, the brilliance of the rays captures my attention and inspires me to think of heaven.

One day it was lightly raining when I was approaching this spot and I wished I had a camera in my car to capture the image. It was sunny, rainy and hazy all at once (like potential rainbow kind of weather). When my car began to go further into the yellowy haze, I felt momentarily engulfed. For a brief second, I was scared. Then I was not. Then, I was in awe. I wondered is this what the entrance to heaven may be like? The experience lasted less than one minute. But I can bring it up in my mind anytime and I often do.

I grew up hearing about heaven and hell in church. My take on religion when I was a child and later into adulthood was that you either behaved or you were done for. God was the big police officer in the sky.

Thankfully, I no longer believe in a punishing God. I believe in a loving, forgiving God and a God with an occasional great sense of humor. My current views of heaven therefore, can involve some silly stuff. I’ll save some of my thoughts for another blog post, but today I want to share with you my absolute favorite idea of what heaven could be.

various potato dishes: potato chips, hashbrown...
Yay! Endless Potatoes!

My favorite idea of heaven is that of endless potatoes. Yes, you read correctly- potatoes. Potatoes in every way shape or form. Crispy french fries with melted cheese and crumbled bacon on them. Mashed yukon gold potatoes with lots of butter and maybe some roasted garlic cloves smashed into them. Baked potatoes with lots of butter and sour cream. Even sweet potatoes with butter and brown sugar.

Get the idea? And, of course none of these would contain any calories whatsoever. I would just eat and eat to my heart’s potato content and none of my potato feasts would show up anywhere on my stomach or thighs!

When I am with potatoes, nothing else really matters but the potatoes. Meat be gone! Salad….for bunnies! I love potatoes! Hopefully, when I walk through those pearly gates, God will be standing there with a big plate of yes, cheesy potatoes!

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