Category: Recovery

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Beach Wisdom

I’m taking off tomorrow morning, headed for a week in Captiva, Florida. I can’t tell you how excited I am about this, especially since I am going with my mom, Katherine, and my sisters, Mary and Cally. Yes, it’s definitely a Girls Week for us!

My mom is 83 now and I think it’s great that the four of us are banding together again for some rest, relaxation and fun. The last time we went away together was to Greece four years ago. We had a blast! In Greece, we ate the most amazing food, swam in beautiful waters, and saw some of the most beautiful sights in the world. It was an unforgettable experience.

These days, Life is so busy. If I don’t take the time to recharge my inner battery at least once or twice a year, I start to burn out. Getting away is how I reconnect with myself and reflect on all my blessings and gratitudes. Making this a priority, even with financial pressures, is important. And sometimes inexpensive getaways are to be found, with just a little asking and exploration.

Back to the BEACH. What is it about the beach that draws me in and comforts me? When I see the Gulf waters or the Atlantic Ocean, somehow I feel like I am with an old friend. She reminds me to slow down, take a moment, and rest. How can you help not relaxing when you’re sitting on a sandy beach? Growing up, my family went to Ocean City Maryland for a week in August just about every year. We knew the town like the palm of our hand. My sisters and I would battle waves, get a great tan, play boardwalk games and eat seafood galore. Maybe that’s why, to this day, I have a special fondness for the Atlantic Ocean.

Since then, I’ve explored other beach areas along the east coast and the Gulf of Mexico. I am looking forward to exploring yet another new beach town- Captiva. And I’m sure we’ll visit Sanibel Island- a place I have heard utterly enchanting things about. I am guessing the week will be beautiful, relaxing and hard to break away from!

I’ll be thinking of you. Are you taking a vacation this summer? Where is your favorite vacation spot? Where do you re-charge your inner batteries?

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The Special Grace of Animals

I have to admit, I am a lover of animals.

For as long as I can remember, I have loved dogs, cats, horses, hamsters, birds- most any kind of domesticated animal. Being a nature girl, I am also drawn to wild creatures, especially deer and turkeys (yes, I especially love turkeys!), and beautiful birds like cardinals and hummingbirds.

Most of my friends have pets. If you want to get someone really talking, just ask them about their favorite Lucky or Lady. It’s the easiest icebreaker of all.

A Young Casper

I have a special pet cat. His name is Casper. He was a birthday present to my daughter from her girlfriend, probably sixteen or seventeen years ago. I’m guessing that “Casper, The Friendly Ghost” was probably the big movie hit at that time. We have had numerous other cats and dogs but Casper has survived them all.

What amazes me is Casper was diagnosed years ago with feline AIDS. How he has ever lived this long is a true mystery to us. He is free to roam our large yard, eats mostly dry food, gets plenty of fresh water and sunshine. He has rarely taken medicine. Perhaps this is the key to kitty longevity.

Lately, we have been especially mindful of Casper simply because of his age. He doesn’t see well anymore but he keeps eating and, he keeps performing all of his necessary bodily functions. To me, this means he is doing ok. He doesn’t cry and he still loves to be stroked and scratched lightly.

I have been watching Casper in the morning as he searches for the sun. He will find it and either he sits very still or lays down to soak it up. I watched him this morning and the one word that came to my mind was prayerful.

Prayerful Casper

I can take a lesson from Casper on being still. Sometimes when I am worried about something or a bit knotted up, he reminds me to take it easy, one day at a time. He clearly has the mantra down pat; he is the walking poster child for serenity. In his younger days, he climbed trees and was an excellent mouser. Now he is content to spend his remaining days in luxurious devotion to the sun.

No matter what animal we love, we are the lucky ones, aren’t we? My husband loves the saying, ” I want to be everything my dog thinks I am”. My son John, as a child, would lay down on the ground to be at face level with Casper. He would lightly stroke Casper’s head and look lovingly at him. I believe we can feel the soul of an animal if we are quiet and take the time to connect.

“With their qualities of cleanliness, discretion, affection, patience, dignity, and courage, how many of us, I ask you, would be capable of becoming cats?” –Fernand Mery Her Majesty the Cat

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Abundance…In True Anne Lamott Style

One of my favorite writers is Anne Lamott. You’ve probably heard of her or might be a fan of hers already. She has written a number of faith based books (Traveling Mercies) and some fiction novels as well. Her latest book is entitled “Some Assembly Required” and it is a beautiful journal of her grandson’s first year of life.

The first thing I loved about this book was Anne’s decision to be called “Nana” by her grandson. (My grandson calls me Nana too!) She “journals” her way through her fears about everything from her son and his girlfriend’s relationship, to the baby’s birth and early development. She calls close friends when she is losing it and always comes back to faith and humility by letting everyone live their own life. She is such an inspiration.

Here’s one of my favorite stories from the book:

(Anne says) “I have a new perspective on spiritual abundance, thanks to my friend Michelle, who told me about going to Starbucks the other day for a pecan sticky bun. She normally doesn’t order pastry at Starbucks, because it’s fattening, but the other day she decided to treat herself to a pecan sticky bun. She spent quite a lot of time picking out the exact one she wanted, which meant the one with the most pecans. She pointed it out to the counter person. He had to move a few others that were in the way, so she took her coffee and sat down.

He brought the sticky bun over, all wrapped up and on a plate. She started taking it out of the paper, and instantly saw that it was the wrong bun, not the one she had chosen. This one had only three pecans on top. She wrapped it back up and walked to the counter, where she pointed this out to the young man, with crisp annoyance. He looked at her incredulously. “Lady,” he said, “turn it over”.

And on the other side, the bun was tiled with candied pecans.”

I just loved this story. How many times have I had an attitude about something which turns out to be abundance in disguise? If we’d all remember to count our blessings, what a pecan studded world this would be!

So, if you’re looking to read with abundance this weekend, pick up a copy of  Some Assembly Required!

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A God Nudge

A few days ago I emailed my friend Nancy. I thought she was participating in an event I’m attending this weekend. She emailed me back…. she didn’t know a thing about it. So I called Amy (on my lunch hour) who I thought had given Nancy’s phone number to the coordinator of the event. When I spoke with Amy, she too thought Nancy had been contacted.

I said to Amy, What do I need to do? Is this my responsibility? Amy said No, it is not. She said, Text me Nancy’s number again and I’ll call the coordinator. She can take it from there. I said to Amy (after a bit of hesitation), Maybe this is a God Nudge.

A God Nudge is when you get a hint that something needs your attention. God is letting you in on something, a clue so to speak, so that you end up feeling like a sort of spiritual secret agent.

I have come to accept that if I am supposed to know about something, God will somehow see to it that I am clued in. If I worry about whether or not I have the whole story on any given situation or if I think I am missing valuable information, this is really not my concern. If I’m supposed to know, I’ll be informed. Then, I can decide how to react, without making a big fuss or blaring any horns.

One of the biggest God Nudges I’ve ever had occurred while I was in Patmos, Greece a few years ago. Patmos is a place of outstanding beauty, a Jewel of the Mediterranean and I was there.

Perfect Patmos

We were on vacation, my sisters, my mom and I for two weeks. Patmos was one of our stopovers for four days. It was perfect weather, perfect food, perfect everything. While I was there, I had an overwhelming urge to write. The feeling was so powerful, I started a journal of our trip.

When I came home I wrote a small book and had it bound with a hard cover. I called it “Patmos Memories” and I gave it to my mom for Christmas that year. She loved it. I still pick it up when I’m at her house and read it over again. It was really my writing debut of sorts.

When I think of that time in Patmos, I realize God was nudging me to write. Maybe that is why I feel so comfortable sharing my thoughts and passing stories along. I think that you and I are divine friends, destined to be together and to pass along some Grace and Love.

In the earlier case involving Nancy, I alerted someone to the issue and let it go. Hopefully, I acted as a conduit of some sort. We’ll see. Thank You God, for the nudge!

Another Pretty Patmos Picture!
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Writing, Faith….and Chocolate Truffles

I took the brave step this past weekend of creating a Facebook page to go with my Katherine’s Daughter blog. Now I will admit, I am a fan of technology but not a brave one. I hesitantly step along (almost as if I am walking through a lawn laced with dog poo) tap tap tapping on my new fancy cell phone, adding clever things to my blog (note the Goodreads section), occasionally tweeting and all the while doubting whether I am doing things right or not.

Note: I have to blame my weekend Facebook/Blog adventure on my sister Mary. She encourages me, so believes in me (Cally too, but Mary is a real motivator!), that sometimes when I talk to her, I think I am Superwoman.

So Saturday morning, with coffee cup in hand, I began to create the Facebook page. Within a half hour, I became instantly overwhelmed. I wondered if I did it wrong, wondered if I should be doing it at all, blah blah blah, Good Lord, what am I possibly thinking!! Jim, sensing my oncoming headache, offered to take me out to lunch. I said yes. Thank goodness, for Anthony’s Coal-Fired Pizza and those delicious wings.

When I returned, I bravely checked my Facebook page. To my amazement, my friends were slowly starting to LIKE me (thank you!!). Just like Sally Field, they LIKED ME! I am feeling much better now and, thankfully, not so overwhelmed. Also, my daughter’s paramour gave her a delicious box of chocolate truffles that I must admit, seem to smooth out all those rough edges of worry and moments of insanity.

The Yummy Truffles!

If you are wondering why I am doing all this- the blog, the writing, the Facebook- I will tell you this…I am really not sure. All I am sure of is… I am following my dream of writing to you. I want to share my thoughts, inspire and walk hand in hand with you while we both look for the Grace and Love that is present in our everyday life. It’s here and I can feel it.

That said, I am not good at self promotion. You will not see me pushing you to read, share or even comment on my blog posts or Facebook page. That is up to you. If you decide to do those things, I admit they are meaningful to me because it means I have touched a cord within you.

I’m just going to have Faith that I am going in the right direction. I will keep going, one day at a time….and…. I’m taking a few of those truffles with me! Thanks for walking along and being a part of it all!

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A Spiritual Connectedness

Creation of Adam, hands in detail
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When I lost my dear nephew a few weeks ago, I had a dream the following week. My father, who passed away 14 or so years ago, was in my dream. He was so close to me, close enough for me to see his face. He reached his hand out and touched me. I woke up, startled. Then a calmness came over me. I felt reassurance. This to me was a sign, a sign to let me know that everything was all right. My nephew was in a peaceful place.

Once, I was sitting next to a co worker at lunch. We were discussing the latest event we had planned together and I said to her, Have those table linens been picked up yet? Just then, the delivery guy came to the door and announced he was there to pick up the linens.

I am a spiritual being living a human life. When I can be quiet and listen to my inner voice, chances are I will hear something really interesting. If a situation begins to unfold in which I feel like I might be in the right place at the right time, I try and ride with it. Sometimes, it’s a little unbelievable.

I think you know the kind of situations I’m talking about. You think of someone, the phone rings and it’s them. Maybe there’s a desperate situation of some sort and someone just happens to show up who takes care of things. Sometimes I’ve been the one to show up; sometimes it is someone else. I think the scary part is the powerlessness of it. We are not in charge of the universe. God has a plan for us but we are not on the planning committee. That can be disarming. But, it can also be an exhilarating experience to go through the day, waiting for the next miracle to unfold.

Each day is a gift. Let’s untie the ribbon…

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Laughing at Myself

You grow up the day you have the first real laugh….at yourself.

Ethel Barrymore

I have done some silly stuff lately.

One chilly morning this winter, I was outside cleaning the snow off my car. When I came into the house, my glasses fogged up immediately after hitting the warmth of my mud room. I ran into the kitchen, thinking I had left the oven on.

In an event just yesterday, my boss said to me (from another room), Do you think Jim would go to Mastermind with you? What I heard was, Do you think Jim would go to Mass with you tomorrow? (I’m not Catholic!)

Lucy watches Little Ricky's birthday party fro...
Lucille Ball- She was funny! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As I get older and (hopefully) wiser, I also seem to be becoming more funny. Maybe it is just that I am funny to myself, but no, I seem to be funny to others as well.

The deterioration of my hearing especially is enabling my funnyness. I know I’m going to need to get it checked, but the reality of that is well, I am not ready to deal with the reality of that (or the expense of a hearing aid).

I don’t know why people get so upset when others laugh at them. I see it as a special grace when we can love ourselves despite what others think (or don’t think) of us. When I was a manager, my employees loved to imitate me back to myself. Sometimes, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

I used to think that EVERYONE needed to like/love me. I was such a people pleaser. I realize now that is the impossible dream. The older I get the more I realize that hey, not everyone is gonna like me. That is ok with me. I will tell you this- the deeper my relationship to God, the less it matters what others think. I like myself and what others think of me is really none of my business.

I know deep inside the kind of person I strive to be. Funny yes. Also- caring, loving, thoughtful, forgiving, huggy and kissy. Yes, that is what I want to be.

So laugh if you will. I’m laughing along with you!

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Deeper Into Faith

There was a loss in my family last week. It was a loss so deep, so painful, it is still hard to come to terms with it even now, one week later.

I cannot imagine how I would be coping with it without faith. In a conversation I had with a dear friend of mine during this hard time, we wondered how a person of no faith could handle an unexpected loss of a loved one. We would be very angry, we surmised. We would have questions with no answers.

I can understand this thinking. Years ago I was one of those angry ones.  Angry for things that happened  beyond my control. The drama that surrounded my life was measurable, catastrophic to me at the time. It did not occur to me that faith would have made things much easier.  It would have eased the burden I was so bent on shouldering.

Now I know what the answer is. The answer is Faith. Faith fills me with peace and serenity when I let her in. I want to go deeper now, deeper into my soul where she is willing to provide me with peace and rest for my turbulent thoughts. This will help me do what I most want to do. That is, to stay calm, to pray for the others.

I have close friends who suffered a great loss a few years ago. My husband and I spent a great deal of time with them, still do. Nothing takes away pain but time and faith. Faith that another day will dawn, that life goes on. My friends were an inspiration with their dogged commitment to faith and life. They pushed on. They did the best they could under stressful circumstances.

I am grateful it is Spring. The birds are singing, the flowers budding, the grass greening. It gives me hope that going Deeper into Faith will sprout a greater awareness of the great goodness of the universe and its potential to heal us all.

Seedling
Seedling (Photo credit: _sjg_)
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Sky Watcher

Photo by Michelene Cain

It’s been a rough week.

Some things happened this past week that were so beyond my control. I badly wanted to take charge of the unmanageable situations, line them up like obedient soldiers, solve each issue one by one. When it was all over I could feed everyone chicken soup and chunky homemade chocolate chip cookies. I just wanted to make it all better.

Instead, I’ve eaten a few too many Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies and prayed for help. Please God, keep me from interfering where I shouldn’t. I can so justify my reasons for intruding, but at this stage of the game I know better.

Assisting others can be one of my star attributes. It can also be one of my biggest character flaws. When I do for others what they can do for themselves, I am robbing them of their own opportunities to grow or feel their own emotions.

For me, the fine line of distinction with regards to assisting others is my motive. Do I want to ride in on my white horse and save the day? Is my offer to help motivated by my own ego? Or is someone in genuine dire need or danger? Sometimes I need a good friend to help me figure things out.

When I am troubled by events beyond my control, I become a sky watcher. God speaks to me through the sky.  And so the past few days, I have taken every advantage to stare at the morning sunrise, the afternoon sun or clouds, and the deep dark sky filled with the stars and full moon of last week. I can be alone for a few minutes and ground myself again to my sense of purpose. That is, I am here to be of service, not to force my will on anyone. And I know deep inside that when I allow my loved ones the opportunity to solve their own problems, I give them (and myself) a great gift.

Photo by Michelene Cain
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Faith….In Unlikely Places

I was in Sante Fe, New Mexico staying at a beautiful bed and breakfast with my sister Cally. It had been the first time ever I had gone on vacation purely for myself without husband or kids in tow.

The second day we were there, I mentioned to Cally that we should call our mom (Katherine!) and let her know we had arrived safely. We dialed the number and Katherine answered. After a few minutes of how’s it going, how’s everything, she said to me “are you sitting down”?

So I sat down. I said “What’s up?” She said “Guess who called? Your cousin, Christina…”.  

Christina

This was big news. My cousins, Christina and her older brother Jason, had gone AWOL for a few years and we did not know what happened to them or where they were. Christina calling my mom was nothing short of a miracle.

A few weeks before this momentous phone call, I had been to a small old church for a meeting of friends. For some reason, I thought of my two lost cousins all evening. I happened to use the bathroom (in the basement of the church, of all places) and while I was in there I thought, Dear God, Where are they?

Faith sometimes appears in the strangest of places. I’m sure it appears in church of course. But I know it often happens outside of typically holy places. I never thought praying in a bathroom, especially an unfamiliar bathroom, could have such amazing results.

I don’t remember when I called Christina. It might have been there in Sante Fe or when I got home. I can share with you that the following December, she and her daughter Ariel took a train and shared Christmas with us. Now she comes with her husband, Julio, and occasionally her stepson Adrian. A few years ago, we went to Jason’s wedding and met his now wife- Angela. Jason had a new baby, Jamiya, almost two years ago.

It never ceases to amaze me that we have all been reunited and can look forward to many years together. Whenever I see Christina get out of her car, after a long trip to Pennsylvania to visit us, I pinch myself.

When we turn the impossible over to God, amazing things can happen. Things that we need not have any hand in. All we have to do is believe.

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