Author: Joanne Jamis Cain

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Laughing at Myself

You grow up the day you have the first real laugh….at yourself.

Ethel Barrymore

I have done some silly stuff lately.

One chilly morning this winter, I was outside cleaning the snow off my car. When I came into the house, my glasses fogged up immediately after hitting the warmth of my mud room. I ran into the kitchen, thinking I had left the oven on.

In an event just yesterday, my boss said to me (from another room), Do you think Jim would go to Mastermind with you? What I heard was, Do you think Jim would go to Mass with you tomorrow? (I’m not Catholic!)

Lucy watches Little Ricky's birthday party fro...
Lucille Ball- She was funny! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As I get older and (hopefully) wiser, I also seem to be becoming more funny. Maybe it is just that I am funny to myself, but no, I seem to be funny to others as well.

The deterioration of my hearing especially is enabling my funnyness. I know I’m going to need to get it checked, but the reality of that is well, I am not ready to deal with the reality of that (or the expense of a hearing aid).

I don’t know why people get so upset when others laugh at them. I see it as a special grace when we can love ourselves despite what others think (or don’t think) of us. When I was a manager, my employees loved to imitate me back to myself. Sometimes, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

I used to think that EVERYONE needed to like/love me. I was such a people pleaser. I realize now that is the impossible dream. The older I get the more I realize that hey, not everyone is gonna like me. That is ok with me. I will tell you this- the deeper my relationship to God, the less it matters what others think. I like myself and what others think of me is really none of my business.

I know deep inside the kind of person I strive to be. Funny yes. Also- caring, loving, thoughtful, forgiving, huggy and kissy. Yes, that is what I want to be.

So laugh if you will. I’m laughing along with you!

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Make Way for the Spring Chickens!

In honor of Spring, I want to invite you over and tell you about our chickens. My husband Jim got bit by the chicken bug a few years ago. A friend of the family happened to give us a baby rooster. That baby rooster somehow fostered a fowl love story for my husband and daughter.

The rooster has long passed on but my husband’s love for chickens has only grown. I have to say, I was not thrilled when I found baby chickens in an incubator in my garage a few years ago. I swore that I would not help with them- ever- because I was so bent on not adding one more responsibility to my full plate. Obviously the chickens have persisted and thrived, due largely in part to my husband’s and daughter’s care. They provide us with ample, or more like an abundance, of eggs.

Initially, I was so skeptical of the eggs that I only used them in cake mixes or as ingredients in recipes. I was a bit nervous about eating them hard boiled, fried sunny side up or scrambled. After a few dozen eggs wasted on cake mixes, I realized my ridiculousness and fried up a few. I was forever changed.

There is something special about the eggs. They are fresh of course but without all the modern things done to the poor commercial chickens, there is a distinctive difference in the taste of them. They are the true definition of Organic. Even their appearance is different. The shells are much thicker and the yolk yellower. Scrambled eggs come out the color of sunshine.

My mother called me recently and warned me about a salmonella scare regarding eggs. She didn’t realize our eggs are salmonella- proof.  There is no way our eggs could have ANYTHING other than goodness.

During warm evenings, Jim lets the chickens out of their coop to run around the yard, scratch and eat bugs. Our trusty yellow lab Ms. Jordan guards them with a sharp eye, her motivation being her daily treat of a delicious egg. Letting the chickens run around the yard like this used to be another source of  annoyance, but “the girls” (nickname for the chickens) have won me over.

As you can see by the pictures, we don’t have the run of the mill white chickens. We have Araucanas and Buff Orpingtons. Their eggs are a beautiful soft green and light brown color. It’s convenient for Easter as we will probably just hard boil them!

If you have a bit of space in your back yard, the motivation and a good chicken book or mentor, there’s no reason you can’t have your own chickens. Just remember to make the coop very secure or intruders like raccoons, possums or foxes will make a delicacy of your chickens.

I have to admit, there is something about being able to live off your own land that makes life a bit more meaningful. When we plant our garden in the summer and have abundant vegetables, I remind myself how lucky we are to be able to grow and provide food for ourselves.  Jim’s newest hobby is bees and he’s put in a couple of hives. I can taste the honey already. I’ll bring you around again when I’m ready for that story.

A big thank you to my daughter Michelene Cain, for these beautiful pictures!

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Deeper Into Faith

There was a loss in my family last week. It was a loss so deep, so painful, it is still hard to come to terms with it even now, one week later.

I cannot imagine how I would be coping with it without faith. In a conversation I had with a dear friend of mine during this hard time, we wondered how a person of no faith could handle an unexpected loss of a loved one. We would be very angry, we surmised. We would have questions with no answers.

I can understand this thinking. Years ago I was one of those angry ones.  Angry for things that happened  beyond my control. The drama that surrounded my life was measurable, catastrophic to me at the time. It did not occur to me that faith would have made things much easier.  It would have eased the burden I was so bent on shouldering.

Now I know what the answer is. The answer is Faith. Faith fills me with peace and serenity when I let her in. I want to go deeper now, deeper into my soul where she is willing to provide me with peace and rest for my turbulent thoughts. This will help me do what I most want to do. That is, to stay calm, to pray for the others.

I have close friends who suffered a great loss a few years ago. My husband and I spent a great deal of time with them, still do. Nothing takes away pain but time and faith. Faith that another day will dawn, that life goes on. My friends were an inspiration with their dogged commitment to faith and life. They pushed on. They did the best they could under stressful circumstances.

I am grateful it is Spring. The birds are singing, the flowers budding, the grass greening. It gives me hope that going Deeper into Faith will sprout a greater awareness of the great goodness of the universe and its potential to heal us all.

Seedling
Seedling (Photo credit: _sjg_)
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Sky Watcher

Photo by Michelene Cain

It’s been a rough week.

Some things happened this past week that were so beyond my control. I badly wanted to take charge of the unmanageable situations, line them up like obedient soldiers, solve each issue one by one. When it was all over I could feed everyone chicken soup and chunky homemade chocolate chip cookies. I just wanted to make it all better.

Instead, I’ve eaten a few too many Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies and prayed for help. Please God, keep me from interfering where I shouldn’t. I can so justify my reasons for intruding, but at this stage of the game I know better.

Assisting others can be one of my star attributes. It can also be one of my biggest character flaws. When I do for others what they can do for themselves, I am robbing them of their own opportunities to grow or feel their own emotions.

For me, the fine line of distinction with regards to assisting others is my motive. Do I want to ride in on my white horse and save the day? Is my offer to help motivated by my own ego? Or is someone in genuine dire need or danger? Sometimes I need a good friend to help me figure things out.

When I am troubled by events beyond my control, I become a sky watcher. God speaks to me through the sky.  And so the past few days, I have taken every advantage to stare at the morning sunrise, the afternoon sun or clouds, and the deep dark sky filled with the stars and full moon of last week. I can be alone for a few minutes and ground myself again to my sense of purpose. That is, I am here to be of service, not to force my will on anyone. And I know deep inside that when I allow my loved ones the opportunity to solve their own problems, I give them (and myself) a great gift.

Photo by Michelene Cain
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Faith….In Unlikely Places

I was in Sante Fe, New Mexico staying at a beautiful bed and breakfast with my sister Cally. It had been the first time ever I had gone on vacation purely for myself without husband or kids in tow.

The second day we were there, I mentioned to Cally that we should call our mom (Katherine!) and let her know we had arrived safely. We dialed the number and Katherine answered. After a few minutes of how’s it going, how’s everything, she said to me “are you sitting down”?

So I sat down. I said “What’s up?” She said “Guess who called? Your cousin, Christina…”.  

Christina

This was big news. My cousins, Christina and her older brother Jason, had gone AWOL for a few years and we did not know what happened to them or where they were. Christina calling my mom was nothing short of a miracle.

A few weeks before this momentous phone call, I had been to a small old church for a meeting of friends. For some reason, I thought of my two lost cousins all evening. I happened to use the bathroom (in the basement of the church, of all places) and while I was in there I thought, Dear God, Where are they?

Faith sometimes appears in the strangest of places. I’m sure it appears in church of course. But I know it often happens outside of typically holy places. I never thought praying in a bathroom, especially an unfamiliar bathroom, could have such amazing results.

I don’t remember when I called Christina. It might have been there in Sante Fe or when I got home. I can share with you that the following December, she and her daughter Ariel took a train and shared Christmas with us. Now she comes with her husband, Julio, and occasionally her stepson Adrian. A few years ago, we went to Jason’s wedding and met his now wife- Angela. Jason had a new baby, Jamiya, almost two years ago.

It never ceases to amaze me that we have all been reunited and can look forward to many years together. Whenever I see Christina get out of her car, after a long trip to Pennsylvania to visit us, I pinch myself.

When we turn the impossible over to God, amazing things can happen. Things that we need not have any hand in. All we have to do is believe.

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Cheer Up Sleepy Jean

The Monkees, left to right: Micky Dolenz, Davy...
Image via Wikipedia

I can’t believe Davy Jones is gone. I found out on the Yahoo home page yesterday and I just haven’t been the same since.

When I was 9 years old, the Monkees were on television with their weekly show. I don’t think I ever missed an episode. They were so corny and silly, what was not to love? And their music. Awesome. Just the perfect blend of soft pop and sweet melodies.

Back then, my sisters and I were the perfect age for pretending. We loved to pretend that we were the Monkees. I remember getting together with the other neighborhood kids and having a concert in the basement. We asked our moms to be the audience. They politely sat there and gabbed while we played Monkees music and banged away on our musical instruments. We wanted to be just like the Monkees….

Lots of my girlfriends had a crush on Davy Jones but my favorite was Peter Tork. At least there was some hope there. Davy was just too cute, too impossible a dream.

A few years ago, there was a CD available at Costco of greatest hits of the Monkees. I bought it and played “Last Train to Clarksville” over and over again. I just loved that song. But who doesn’t love “Daydream Believer“. Another great song.

Dear Davy, I hope you are banging away on your heavenly tambourine. The Monkees will never be the same without you!

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Cedar Lakes West Virginia

Almost Heaven!

I can see why John Denver used to sing about West Virginia. Why he sang,  Almost Heaven, West Virginia.

Jim and I were at Cedar Lakes this past weekend for a spiritual retreat. Cedar Lakes is a conference center in Ripley, WV. The ride was easy and we had good company. We were there with friends and it was unbelievably beautiful despite the chilly weather. I came home completely in love again with West Virginia!

Saturday was cold and windy so we didn’t walk much. I wanted to get some pictures though so I bundled up and took the camera outside. This beautiful covered bridge was part of the view from our lodge room window.

Sunday morning was cold and crisp. The sky was clear and blue. It was wonderful to be among friends but the pictures say it all. I’m going to let them roll…

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Good Orderly Direction

Sailboat
Sailboat (Photo credit: Stephen Downes)

In case I haven’t mentioned it lately, I am 54 years young. The era of my 50’s sometimes seems like the most haphazard of my life so far. I can’t remember a decade when I have felt so much like a ship without a rudder.

When I was a small child, I couldn’t wait to be all grown up. In my 20’s it was all about marriage, making babies and managing top sales in a home party business. In my 30’s it was raising babies and starting a real, bricks and mortar business. My 40’s felt powerful, career and otherwise, with the selling of my business, utilizing my skills, and the start of a personal journey for some much needed balance, serenity and faith.

What can I say about my 50’s so far? Well, I feel rich in blessings, deep in spirit and more comfortable in my own skin. I also feel slightly worn out, like a pair of old slippers that are finally broken in. I have let my hair go back to it’s original (non dyed) color. It is an interwoven mix of silver and soft black. I receive lots of compliments on it and alternately, my share of folks who can’t help but stare at it.

My hair, just like me lately, is a wish to be authentic. To dig down deep and present myself as I truly am.

But back to the ship without a rudder. I’ve been thinking that maybe this is a good thing. I have always had goals, aspirations and dreams. I have always loved a good challenge. Maybe for once I can let the wind take me where it wishes and I can give up steering the ship so strongly for a while.

Good Orderly Direction (GOD) for me is about loving myself enough to follow a path that unfolds as it’s divinely meant to. It could unfold into something bigger than I can imagine, or it may just be the rest I’ve been craving. Hopefully it will be a direction that sets my sails for even greater spiritual awareness.

Sunrise over Vero Beach, FL
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On Being “Katherine’s Daughter”

In just three short months since I started blogging, life is definitely different. I love writing my blog, being part of the writing world and sharing some inspirational experiences of love, hope and faith.

WordPress.com is the host of my blog. For me it has become a mecca of sorts, where I can rub shoulders with and be inspired by some great writers. When I began the creation process for my blog, the WordPress prompts asked me what is the name of your blog? In the two minutes it took me to think of a name, I chose Katherine’s Daughter. Yes, I am the daughter of a Katherine (with a K!). She is the beautiful woman with me in the picture above. We are all someone’s daughter or son, aren’t we? Perhaps I felt my blog name implied a common bond that I could share with my audience.

That said, I have friends who do not (or did not) have memorable mothers. It doesn’t matter. I swear God sees to it that there is always someone in our life who will love, nurture and care about us. That chosen person will bring out the good parts of us and love us unconditionally, thank goodness. They will mentor us through difficult times. Think of who that person is for you. That person, for me, is Katherine.

My father passed away some fifteen years ago. Katherine is now 82 years old but gets along very well. Her vision is somewhat compromised so Cally, my youngest sister, has begun reading my blog posts to Katherine whenever she visits her.

I spoke with Katherine last night and she mentioned three of my last blog posts. Cally had apparently read all of them to her yesterday and Katherine said something to me about each one. I am truly blessed to have a mother who not only supports my writing but makes positive comments about it! Good Lord, what a blessing!

I want to thank my family and friends who have supported my blog, shared it on their Facebook pages, loved me through this process, even become one of my subscribers. In case you didn’t know, there is a place on my blog page where you can sign up to get my twice weekly blog stories. (Yes, you can have me drop- kicked to your email every week!). Best of all, it is FREE to subscribe. I just love free stuff…don’t you?

My goal is to publish a book, hopefully within a year, with stories on faith and love. A book to warm your heart and help you realize how truly loved you are. So many things have inspired me (another story!) and I just continue to follow my dreams. I hope you don’t mind if I take you with me.

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Stretching Spiritually

Two views of local Extension leaders drilling ...
(Photo credit: Cornell University Library)

Just like I exercise to keep my body limber, I believe in exercises that stretch me spiritually. Whether or not I’m in a good place emotionally or mentally, focusing on what I can do to make myself a better person is the stuff good growth is made of.

A few years ago I challenged myself to write down a few things a day I was grateful for. Even though it may not seem so, some days it was hard to come up with one thing. Some days I had a longer list; those were good days.

As I kept up this exercise, I found it became easier and easier to recognize things I could be grateful for. The sunrise, a good meal, time with my kids or husband, a joke that made me laugh out loud; these made my list. I kept an inexpensive journal next to my bed and tried to write something worthwhile each night. What all this brought about was a shift. A shift in thinking how really lucky I was to have so many blessings and grace in my life.

My next exercise challenge was three things a day. This challenge was to do three things a day for someone (any one’s) welfare but not to tell anyone else about it. This was definitely a challenge. I am a good talker and storyteller- wanna -be.

: Parking meter
Image via Wikipedia

So I put coins in parking meters that were about to expire, I lit candles in church for someone who was suffering, I mailed personal notes of love or encouragement to friends. I gave canned goods to the food bank, smiled at strangers and said have a wonderful day! I offered my arm to someone older who needed the stability to cross the street.

The reward? A serious reduction in the world revolving around me. Also, a shift in Ego, the loud mouth in my brain who likes to say “It’s all about me baby!”. Extra reward: peace, serenity, balance.

I still do things every day that I don’t tell anyone about. I figure it’s between me and God. She knows. She smiles down on me and keeps me going in the right direction. She gave me some extra responsibilities lately and I’m trying to show her I’m up to the task. Obviously, she believes in me.

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