Category: Humor

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Get ready! Saturday is Jammie Day!

Calvin and Hobbes
Saturdays are for relaxing!

I have been really busy lately. It will be June before my five day work week becomes a four day work week. And as Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes!) would say, the days are just packed. So in order to ward off a winter meltdown, I have invented a new Saturday morning splurge for myself. I fondly call it Jammie Time.

Just in case you think I am talking about grape jam or orange marmalade, let me clarify. I am talking about pajamas. Wonderful, warm and soft pajamas. Last Saturday, I happened to stay in my pajamas until NOON and did not do any form of work. I reveled in the simplicity of an endless pot of coffee, numerous favorite shows in my DVR and a pot of chicken soup simmering on the stove. What luxury! What decadence!

Lest you think I have completely lost my mind, remember I am an over-doer. Sitting around in my jammies until Noon is kind of a no-no. I usually have a line up of things to do, people to meet, goals to reach. But even God took one day off. Why not me too?

I loved my Saturday morning so much, I want to spread the idea of Jammie Time! I want to encourage everyone to have JT at least one morning a week. The catch is, you cannot do something you consider to be work. Maybe your idea of relaxation is baking. Maybe it’s knitting or reading. Whatever it may be, just go for it! Just don’t go and clean out your extra storage room. That is not relaxing!

By the way, I have to mention my new favorite pair of jammies. They are from Soma, a beautiful store at the mall. They are all cotton and oh so soft. The top is a red Henley and the bottoms are decorated with little black and white penguins that have red scarfs around their necks. They are totally silly jammies but I love them.

It is so worth it to set aside time to regroup and recharge our batteries. Join the bandwagon and embrace Jammie Time! Let me know your favorite JT activity(ies). And spread the word!

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Jordan, the Wonder Dog

I’d like you to meet a special member of my family. This is Ms. Jordan. Just like any other family who has a beloved pet, we think Jordan is just the icing on the cake. We are not sure of her exact breed, but obviously she is a lab/retriever mix. And, she seems to have the gifted traits of both of those breeds.

We didn’t have to pay a cent for Jordan. My daughter Michelene was at a friend’s house one day and when she came out to her car to leave, there was a buttery colored pup sitting by her car tire. Mickey said it’s as if Jordan was saying  “what’s happening! what are we doing next!?” Mickey knew where Jordan lived so she walked to the house, knocked on the door and inquired as to her availability. The next thing you know, she was ours.

Jordan has been with us almost five years now. Her biggest claim to fame is her reputation as a fearless hunter. She will not allow any wild animals in her yard. Raccoons, groundhogs, possums, beware! She grabs any intruder by the scuff of the neck and they are (gulp) history. 

The reason for this? One reason could be our chickens. We have a coop on our property that is home to nine chickens. When Jordan was maybe a year old, a possum got into the chicken coop in early spring (in the middle of the night!) and the noise should have woke the dead. As soon as we opened the door to the coop Jordan moved in and that poor possum never knew what hit it.

Since then, Jordan has become very protective of the chickens (we call them “the girls”). Every morning, Jordan checks the girls with Jim (my SO) to make sure everyone is ok. When all have been accounted for, Jordan receives her prize: the oh so yummy treat of a fresh egg.  Jordan lays it on the ground, cracks it open gently, licks out the insides, then delicately eats the shell. To watch an 80 lb dog eat something so gently just makes you shake your head in amazement.

The chasing of small prey though has unfortunately had its consequences. Jordan has compromised the ACL muscle in her back right leg. At first, she would limp on and off but gradually this became more of a problem. We took her to the vet, xrays were done and options were discussed. Low and behold, Jordan now wears a harness with a flexible leg cuff that enables her to live just about normally.

The harness/cuff apparatus was an expensive package($400- $500).  Coincidentally (or not!), I received a bonus from work just about the same time we realized Jordan was going to need the harness. Not long after I got the news of the price of the harness, I was in my car. I couldn’t help but feel sad and sorry for myself over spending my bonus on this expensive apparatus. Geez, easy come easy go, I thought. As I was driving the two lane road to work, I noticed a large semi truck coming towards me, on the other side. This truck had a fancy wind deflector on top of the cab. I looked up at the right moment and noticed the word on the wind deflector: JORDAN.

Well, I burst out in laughter. My anger and irritation vanished. I realized at that moment my bonus money was for Jordan, not me. It came through me, that’s all. This event stayed with me for a while. I honestly believe God sees things coming. He sends gifts (opportunities!) through others because he knows what we are going to need. If we are paying attention, we’ll notice they are truly gifts.

I hope I said thank you that day for the bonus which enabled us to give Jordan the gift of a normal life. If not, I’m saying it now, in front of everyone. Thank you!!

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My Idea of Heaven

On my way home there is a spot on the highway where, if the sun is setting and it’s in exactly the right spot, the brilliance of the rays captures my attention and inspires me to think of heaven.

One day it was lightly raining when I was approaching this spot and I wished I had a camera in my car to capture the image. It was sunny, rainy and hazy all at once (like potential rainbow kind of weather). When my car began to go further into the yellowy haze, I felt momentarily engulfed. For a brief second, I was scared. Then I was not. Then, I was in awe. I wondered is this what the entrance to heaven may be like? The experience lasted less than one minute. But I can bring it up in my mind anytime and I often do.

I grew up hearing about heaven and hell in church. My take on religion when I was a child and later into adulthood was that you either behaved or you were done for. God was the big police officer in the sky.

Thankfully, I no longer believe in a punishing God. I believe in a loving, forgiving God and a God with an occasional great sense of humor. My current views of heaven therefore, can involve some silly stuff. I’ll save some of my thoughts for another blog post, but today I want to share with you my absolute favorite idea of what heaven could be.

various potato dishes: potato chips, hashbrown...
Yay! Endless Potatoes!

My favorite idea of heaven is that of endless potatoes. Yes, you read correctly- potatoes. Potatoes in every way shape or form. Crispy french fries with melted cheese and crumbled bacon on them. Mashed yukon gold potatoes with lots of butter and maybe some roasted garlic cloves smashed into them. Baked potatoes with lots of butter and sour cream. Even sweet potatoes with butter and brown sugar.

Get the idea? And, of course none of these would contain any calories whatsoever. I would just eat and eat to my heart’s potato content and none of my potato feasts would show up anywhere on my stomach or thighs!

When I am with potatoes, nothing else really matters but the potatoes. Meat be gone! Salad….for bunnies! I love potatoes! Hopefully, when I walk through those pearly gates, God will be standing there with a big plate of yes, cheesy potatoes!

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Coloring Outside the Lines

World-famous Crayola crayons are manufactured ...
What's your favorite color?

Coloring was one of my favorite things to do as a child. Back then of course there were no video games and limited tv channels. Life was simplier. I loved to color for hours.

That said, I remember outlining the edge of whatever I was coloring with a bold or dark color and then filling in the design, character (whatever) by lightly laying my crayon on its side and moving back and forth. I was a very neat colorer.

Recently, I came to view my husband as one who probably likes to color outside the lines. A funny incident occurred in which he was not really coloring but the thought process was quite the same. Here’s how it went. He was making an easy recipe of Stove Top stuffing, chicken, sour cream and cream of mushroom soup. And, he was making it for the entire family, including my son’s practically new girlfriend that I am hoping is (up to this point) thinking that we are the greatest thing since sliced bread.

(FYI, I want to mention that Stove Top chicken bake is not my idea of a gourmet or even a special meal, but occasionally we really love chicken and stuffing. And besides, it is a really easy meal so what’s not to love?)

But instead of making the recipe in the traditional way, my significant other did it his way. He laid the entire bag of dry stuffing on the bottom of the pan. He put the chicken on top of the dry stuffing then he mixed the soup with water and poured it over top of everything. He completely forgot (or shall I say….eliminated the sour cream). When I asked him why he didn’t follow the recipe, his answer was “it’s the same concept”.

I was tempted to either read him the riot act or pretend I had a last minute engagement I had to attend. I decided instead to let it go. When everyone was getting ready to sit down for dinner, my son’s girlfriend asked how he made the chicken bake. My husband generously offered the recipe to which I couldn’t help but add “that’s not really the recipe. he just likes to color outside the lines….”

This got a chuckle from everyone, including my husband. And how was dinner? Well, it was fine though the stuffing did not all puff up and so some of it stuck to the bottom of the pan. With a little cranberry sauce, it was just fine. Everyone declared it delicious and hey, I didn’t have to make dinner!

So though I like to color inside the lines, there are clearly others who love to go beyond and color wildly. I need to respect that. That is what makes life alittle more colorful.

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Feeling a little marshmalloweeee…..

English: Marshmallows
Feeling alittle fluffy!

Lately I’ve been feeling like a marshmallow. You know, kinda soft and fluffy. Is this a good thing? Well, maybe it is ok if you’re a marshmallow but probably not if you’re a human.

With the holiday just around the corner, I decided that all I can really do is try and keep the marshmallow-ness of me at a regular softness and size. I am certainly not of the little tiny marshmallow genre at the moment. I thankfully would not call myself one of those giant marshmallows either and that’s good because they are so darn hard to toast. Getting those warm on the inside while toasting well on the outside is really a challenge.

I have a craving this morning for Rice Krispies Marshmallow Treats so I may just make myself a batch for Christmas! Have a sweet and soft kind of day!

 
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