Keeper of the Secrets

There was a time, long ago when I was not so great at keeping confidences. Actually, I was terrible at it. I grew up (like all young women?) loving a good juicy secret, whether it was true or not. And sometimes the details were just too irresistible to check out thoroughly before I passed them along. Whether I could help myself or not, I managed to get a great deal of pleasure from talking about others’ problems and Good Lord, the mess these people made of their lives.

Meanwhile, I was the one later who had a mess of a life going on….

Enter my friends, the ones who I latched onto when I really set out to work on myself spiritually. These friends taught me to mind my own business and respect the privacy of others. It took some time but eventually I overcame the urge to talk about people behind their backs (or to their face!). This was nothing short of a miracle. And, I have to say, it’s hard work. I needed (and still need) to remember that talking about others devalues me, disrespects a confidence and if I think well enough of myself, I don’t need to talk down about others to build myself up.

While my friends were teaching me about privacy and respect of others, they taught me something about secrets. Through their own generous acts of respect, they listened to my secrets and kept them as confidences. This was another miracle. It was a great leap of faith to talk about things that I was keeping inside of me, things that threatened at times to seriously bring me down. But here they were, listening…..and loving me anyway….secrets and all.

The upside, the greatest reward to all of this is that people now trust me with their own secrets. They know when they tell me something intimate, it will not go any further than my own ears. This is God’s Great Grace, I believe, to have been given the gift of confidential and respectful listeners and then, to be able to pay it forward.  I gave my secrets to others and now, I have been chosen by a few close friends to be their Keeper of the Secrets.

So I listen to stories of troubled pasts from my comrades, bits and pieces that represent good (and not so good) portions of their lives. When I do this listening, I am silently loving and praying for them. They tell me their shortcomings and again, I love them anyway. Things they suffer from shame about, things they think no one could love them through… and yet I love them even more. I am not sure why this spiritual work has been given to me but perhaps I am not here to question it. My responsibility is to continue to love and accept unconditionally those who choose to confide in me.

This trust, this confidence speaks volumes to me. I will never, ever take it for granted. Again, it is an opportunity to pay back over and over the great gifts that have been given to me. The gifts my friends gave me so freely, way back when I knew not what their real value was.

“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
― C.G. Jung

Thank you again to Cally Jamis Vennare, for these beautiful pictures!

Early Morning Grace

Dawn in Captiva

I was never an early morning person.

My favorite thing to do (always) was to sleep in. Even when my kids were little, we all loved staying in bed until 10am or so. As they got older and started school, sleeping in became a luxury that was only to be revived during summer vacation.

Lately though I have become an early riser. It started with a job I began over six years ago; a job I needed to rise at 5:30am for. I was fine as long as it was spring and summer but boy, in the dead of winter was it tough!

Fast forward to my new job, the one I’ve had for the last year, the one that is only a seven minute drive from my house. I could easily stay in bed until 7 or 7:30am but I find myself up at 6:30am, almost like clockwork.

Maybe it’s that as I get older, I no longer mind not sleeping in. Maybe 6:30am is really sleeping in, compared to my last job. What I really think it’s about is The Early Morning. I just love The Early Morning.

If you are an Early Morning Riser you know what I’m talking about. The sun slowly comes up, the birds are singing, singing, singing. The world is yawning and so am I. My coffee pot (which I set up to brew before I wake) automatically has made me the most delicious coffee of my day. My yellow lab, Jordan, is so happy to see me because my rising means she gets breakfast and a chance to go outside.

When I walk Jordan outside, I occasionally bump into a deer in the back yard. We exchange a curious look and then he runs off to his next vegetarian meal. I check the sky. It’s baby blue with a touch of white cloud today. I smile at the beauty of it all.

Here Comes the Sun

When I was in Florida last week, I could have easily slept in every day. There was no job to go to, no dog to feed, no clothes to be thrown in the washer. But yet I found myself wanting my coffee on the balcony of our condo as soon as the sun came up. Many a morning I sat there with my mom and sisters, just enjoying the sunrise.

What is it that I love about The Early Morning? I love that it is a chance to be alone with my source of Grace, my Higher Power. I can’t always hear God when my day gets going because well, there’s just too much chatter. Too many distractions. At the beginning of the day, there is clarity, wisdom and opportunity. There is prayer, meditation and connection with the earth and the beauty that abounds in all of nature. I try and not take this beauty for granted.

As you look at these pictures of the sunrise in Captiva, I hope you will feel a bit of the serenity and awe that is present when we take the time to greet the sun. It is so worth it to get up just a bit early and catch something of such great beauty. May you be Graced by an Early Morning Sunrise!

There It Is!

That Which We Manifest

Day Five of our Captiva vacation and I am smitten by this beautiful town. Our condo is just perfect and the view from our balcony simply stunning. I can hardly believe I am here.

Boats of various sizes come and go in front of us all day. There is a beautiful pool here that overlooks, miraculously, the Gulf waters. My sisters and I are free to float along while my mom basks in a deck chair and listens, through earphones, to her favorite Greek singer. Sometimes it seems like we have the whole place to ourselves.

The boats going by are a study in contrast. Some are very large sailboats with gorgeous white sails. Others are large with a pointy front and I am guessing those are speedboats. Still others are smaller, powered by one or two people and I imagine a retiree, fishing to his or her content. There are lots of fish here and they are very happy, it seems, as I have never seen fish that jump out of the water, arch and flop back in.

On the horizon, the sky feels so close I want to reach out and touch the clouds. If you look up from your spot in the pool, you can watch them float by. Time, for us and the clouds, is plentiful this week.

The most interesting thing happened yesterday morning. A tall legged egret we noticed on day one has come every day to drink water from the pool. So far, he has only come when no one is around. Yesterday he appeared while Mary and I were floating along, just minding our own business. I dubbed him “Mr. Heron” because I initially assumed he was  a heron (we researched him later!). He was so graceful in his movements as he walked along- his long black legs at a slow, thoughtful pace. He was keeping an eye on us, but his desire for cool water must have been great. We were only a few feet away from him as he lowered his head to the pool, took a few sips, looked up and slowly walked away. My love for birds manifested itself yet again in the display of grace and serenity by this beautiful egret.

I left my family behind in Pennsylvania and there are moments this week when I wonder what they are doing. Does Jordan has enough water to drink? Is Gavin enjoying his last few days of school? If worry creeps in I remind myself of my goal this week- to relax and enjoy my mother and sisters. I’m sure everyone at home is just fine.

I keep thinking of a phrase today-”that which you manifest…..”. I had to look it up on the internet to find out the rest. I wanted to share it with you…

“That which we manifest is before us; we are the creators of our own destiny. Be it through intention or ignorance, our successes and our failures have been brought on by none other than ourselves.”
― Garth Stein

I feel grateful today that I am in this beautiful place. May you manifest whatever it is that your heart desires…

Thank you to my sister Cally for these beautiful pictures!

Beach Wisdom

I’m taking off tomorrow morning, headed for a week in Captiva, Florida. I can’t tell you how excited I am about this, especially since I am going with my mom, Katherine, and my sisters, Mary and Cally. Yes, it’s definitely a Girls Week for us!

My mom is 83 now and I think it’s great that the four of us are banding together again for some rest, relaxation and fun. The last time we went away together was to Greece four years ago. We had a blast! In Greece, we ate the most amazing food, swam in beautiful waters, and saw some of the most beautiful sights in the world. It was an unforgettable experience.

These days, Life is so busy. If I don’t take the time to recharge my inner battery at least once or twice a year, I start to burn out. Getting away is how I reconnect with myself and reflect on all my blessings and gratitudes. Making this a priority, even with financial pressures, is important. And sometimes inexpensive getaways are to be found, with just a little asking and exploration.

Back to the BEACH. What is it about the beach that draws me in and comforts me? When I see the Gulf waters or the Atlantic Ocean, somehow I feel like I am with an old friend. She reminds me to slow down, take a moment, and rest. How can you help not relaxing when you’re sitting on a sandy beach? Growing up, my family went to Ocean City Maryland for a week in August just about every year. We knew the town like the palm of our hand. My sisters and I would battle waves, get a great tan, play boardwalk games and eat seafood galore. Maybe that’s why, to this day, I have a special fondness for the Atlantic Ocean.

Since then, I’ve explored other beach areas along the east coast and the Gulf of Mexico. I am looking forward to exploring yet another new beach town- Captiva. And I’m sure we’ll visit Sanibel Island- a place I have heard utterly enchanting things about. I am guessing the week will be beautiful, relaxing and hard to break away from!

I’ll be thinking of you. Are you taking a vacation this summer? Where is your favorite vacation spot? Where do you re-charge your inner batteries?

The Special Grace of Animals

I have to admit, I am a lover of animals.

For as long as I can remember, I have loved dogs, cats, horses, hamsters, birds- most any kind of domesticated animal. Being a nature girl, I am also drawn to wild creatures, especially deer and turkeys (yes, I especially love turkeys!), and beautiful birds like cardinals and hummingbirds.

Most of my friends have pets. If you want to get someone really talking, just ask them about their favorite Lucky or Lady. It’s the easiest icebreaker of all.

A Young Casper

I have a special pet cat. His name is Casper. He was a birthday present to my daughter from her girlfriend, probably sixteen or seventeen years ago. I’m guessing that “Casper, The Friendly Ghost” was probably the big movie hit at that time. We have had numerous other cats and dogs but Casper has survived them all.

What amazes me is Casper was diagnosed years ago with feline AIDS. How he has ever lived this long is a true mystery to us. He is free to roam our large yard, eats mostly dry food, gets plenty of fresh water and sunshine. He has rarely taken medicine. Perhaps this is the key to kitty longevity.

Lately, we have been especially mindful of Casper simply because of his age. He doesn’t see well anymore but he keeps eating and, he keeps performing all of his necessary bodily functions. To me, this means he is doing ok. He doesn’t cry and he still loves to be stroked and scratched lightly.

I have been watching Casper in the morning as he searches for the sun. He will find it and either he sits very still or lays down to soak it up. I watched him this morning and the one word that came to my mind was prayerful.

Prayerful Casper

I can take a lesson from Casper on being still. Sometimes when I am worried about something or a bit knotted up, he reminds me to take it easy, one day at a time. He clearly has the mantra down pat; he is the walking poster child for serenity. In his younger days, he climbed trees and was an excellent mouser. Now he is content to spend his remaining days in luxurious devotion to the sun.

No matter what animal we love, we are the lucky ones, aren’t we? My husband loves the saying, ” I want to be everything my dog thinks I am”. My son John, as a child, would lay down on the ground to be at face level with Casper. He would lightly stroke Casper’s head and look lovingly at him. I believe we can feel the soul of an animal if we are quiet and take the time to connect.

“With their qualities of cleanliness, discretion, affection, patience, dignity, and courage, how many of us, I ask you, would be capable of becoming cats?” –Fernand Mery Her Majesty the Cat

A Hug of Grace

I grew up around my Greek grandma, my yiayia, who loved to give triple kisses. She would lean down, grab my head, turn my cheek to her lips and fire off three rocket-like kisses in a row. Then she’d mutter something sweet in her native Greek language and you knew you were really something special.

When I went to Greece, everyone there kissed you on both cheeks, whether they knew you or not. Usually they added a hug as well. No wonder the Greeks are known for their warm hospitality.

In this age of social media and detached conversations, I wonder if people are still touching, still hugging and kissing? And I mean in a friendly, I LOVE YOU, kind of way.

Beautiful Babies
Beautiful Babies

Last week, I read a story and saw a picture on the internet (which actually turned out to be from 1995) that almost stopped my heart. It was an image of two very small twins and one had her arm around the other. Apparently the one twin had not been doing well and a nurse fought to put the other twin in the incubator with the ailing one. When placed together, the one stronger twin swung her arm over the other more fragile one. The fragile baby stabilized and lived. I think this speaks volumes about the power of touch. Touch has the power to heal, to say I care about you, or even to say I’m with you on this.

These days, touching can be greatly misconstrued. It is a sad state of affairs sometimes when it’s done for the wrong reasons or when it gets out of hand. But I still believe in a warm embrace, a loving hug, a kiss bestowed as a valentine. I believe that we as humans crave touch, yearn for closeness and wish for connection. Hugs and kisses are an expression of our innate yearning to bond with our fellow human beings.

My husband Jim and I are cuddlers. Even now, while I’m still on the last edges of menopause, I lean against him in bed or touch my hot feet to his cool ones! Thankfully, he is a hugger and loves to snuggle.

Recently, Jim needed a small surgery on his knee. It was outpatient surgery and I hung out in the waiting room until they told me I could go sit with him. He was very groggy from the anesthesia so I didn’t say much. I sat down on the chair next to his bed and softly laid my hand on top of his. Sitting patiently, I waited for him to come around. I knew just touching his hand spoke volumes and words were not really necessary.

A touch, sometimes, is all it really takes.

Thanks to WordPress, for giving me an opportunity to show off one of my favorite posts!

Abundance…In True Anne Lamott Style

One of my favorite writers is Anne Lamott. You’ve probably heard of her or might be a fan of hers already. She has written a number of faith based books (Traveling Mercies) and some fiction novels as well. Her latest book is entitled “Some Assembly Required” and it is a beautiful journal of her grandson’s first year of life.

The first thing I loved about this book was Anne’s decision to be called “Nana” by her grandson. (My grandson calls me Nana too!) She “journals” her way through her fears about everything from her son and his girlfriend’s relationship, to the baby’s birth and early development. She calls close friends when she is losing it and always comes back to faith and humility by letting everyone live their own life. She is such an inspiration.

Here’s one of my favorite stories from the book:

(Anne says) “I have a new perspective on spiritual abundance, thanks to my friend Michelle, who told me about going to Starbucks the other day for a pecan sticky bun. She normally doesn’t order pastry at Starbucks, because it’s fattening, but the other day she decided to treat herself to a pecan sticky bun. She spent quite a lot of time picking out the exact one she wanted, which meant the one with the most pecans. She pointed it out to the counter person. He had to move a few others that were in the way, so she took her coffee and sat down.

He brought the sticky bun over, all wrapped up and on a plate. She started taking it out of the paper, and instantly saw that it was the wrong bun, not the one she had chosen. This one had only three pecans on top. She wrapped it back up and walked to the counter, where she pointed this out to the young man, with crisp annoyance. He looked at her incredulously. “Lady,” he said, “turn it over”.

And on the other side, the bun was tiled with candied pecans.”

I just loved this story. How many times have I had an attitude about something which turns out to be abundance in disguise? If we’d all remember to count our blessings, what a pecan studded world this would be!

So, if you’re looking to read with abundance this weekend, pick up a copy of  Some Assembly Required!

Inspired Expression

I saw a beautiful community mural on the side of a brick building last weekend. It was on the Southside of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I couldn’t help myself and walked over to it for a closer look. The colors were what really drew me in.

I have been thinking about the artists who painted such a work of color. Wondered from where they drew their inspiration. My guess is, it was from deep down, in their heart and soul. Perhaps they love color, just like me, and perhaps they love their city. Together those feelings would come together in such a divine way. To have a passion for something that manifests itself in such an expression is truly an inspired gift.

I believe that inside of us all there exists a creative voice. Whether it presents itself through earthy pottery, magnificent culinary creations, delicious baked goods, nature inspired gardens or a comfortable home, it’s there, given to us by divine grace. If we trust the voice and listen, it will be a source of inspired expression. It will fill us with a sense of well being and peace.

For a long time, I worked, focused and lost myself in the day to day grind of things. My poor creative voice must have thought it lost me forever. It feels good to take time and write my Katherine’s Daughter stories. Writing is my divinely inspired expression.

How do you yield to your creative voice? What form does it take? Do you make time for it? Leave a comment and tell us about it!

A God Nudge

A few days ago I emailed my friend Nancy. I thought she was participating in an event I’m attending this weekend. She emailed me back…. she didn’t know a thing about it. So I called Amy (on my lunch hour) who I thought had given Nancy’s phone number to the coordinator of the event. When I spoke with Amy, she too thought Nancy had been contacted.

I said to Amy, What do I need to do? Is this my responsibility? Amy said No, it is not. She said, Text me Nancy’s number again and I’ll call the coordinator. She can take it from there. I said to Amy (after a bit of hesitation), Maybe this is a God Nudge.

A God Nudge is when you get a hint that something needs your attention. God is letting you in on something, a clue so to speak, so that you end up feeling like a sort of spiritual secret agent.

I have come to accept that if I am supposed to know about something, God will somehow see to it that I am clued in. If I worry about whether or not I have the whole story on any given situation or if I think I am missing valuable information, this is really not my concern. If I’m supposed to know, I’ll be informed. Then, I can decide how to react, without making a big fuss or blaring any horns.

One of the biggest God Nudges I’ve ever had occurred while I was in Patmos, Greece a few years ago. Patmos is a place of outstanding beauty, a Jewel of the Mediterranean and I was there.

Perfect Patmos

We were on vacation, my sisters, my mom and I for two weeks. Patmos was one of our stopovers for four days. It was perfect weather, perfect food, perfect everything. While I was there, I had an overwhelming urge to write. The feeling was so powerful, I started a journal of our trip.

When I came home I wrote a small book and had it bound with a hard cover. I called it “Patmos Memories” and I gave it to my mom for Christmas that year. She loved it. I still pick it up when I’m at her house and read it over again. It was really my writing debut of sorts.

When I think of that time in Patmos, I realize God was nudging me to write. Maybe that is why I feel so comfortable sharing my thoughts and passing stories along. I think that you and I are divine friends, destined to be together and to pass along some Grace and Love.

In the earlier case involving Nancy, I alerted someone to the issue and let it go. Hopefully, I acted as a conduit of some sort. We’ll see. Thank You God, for the nudge!

Another Pretty Patmos Picture!

Writing, Faith….and Chocolate Truffles

I took the brave step this past weekend of creating a Facebook page to go with my Katherine’s Daughter blog. Now I will admit, I am a fan of technology but not a brave one. I hesitantly step along (almost as if I am walking through a lawn laced with dog poo) tap tap tapping on my new fancy cell phone, adding clever things to my blog (note the Goodreads section), occasionally tweeting and all the while doubting whether I am doing things right or not.

Note: I have to blame my weekend Facebook/Blog adventure on my sister Mary. She encourages me, so believes in me (Cally too, but Mary is a real motivator!), that sometimes when I talk to her, I think I am Superwoman.

So Saturday morning, with coffee cup in hand, I began to create the Facebook page. Within a half hour, I became instantly overwhelmed. I wondered if I did it wrong, wondered if I should be doing it at all, blah blah blah, Good Lord, what am I possibly thinking!! Jim, sensing my oncoming headache, offered to take me out to lunch. I said yes. Thank goodness, for Anthony’s Coal-Fired Pizza and those delicious wings.

When I returned, I bravely checked my Facebook page. To my amazement, my friends were slowly starting to LIKE me (thank you!!). Just like Sally Field, they LIKED ME! I am feeling much better now and, thankfully, not so overwhelmed. Also, my daughter’s paramour gave her a delicious box of chocolate truffles that I must admit, seem to smooth out all those rough edges of worry and moments of insanity.

The Yummy Truffles!

If you are wondering why I am doing all this- the blog, the writing, the Facebook- I will tell you this…I am really not sure. All I am sure of is… I am following my dream of writing to you. I want to share my thoughts, inspire and walk hand in hand with you while we both look for the Grace and Love that is present in our everyday life. It’s here and I can feel it.

That said, I am not good at self promotion. You will not see me pushing you to read, share or even comment on my blog posts or Facebook page. That is up to you. If you decide to do those things, I admit they are meaningful to me because it means I have touched a cord within you.

I’m just going to have Faith that I am going in the right direction. I will keep going, one day at a time….and…. I’m taking a few of those truffles with me! Thanks for walking along and being a part of it all!

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