Ode to a Beloved Pet- Miss Jordan

It’s January. Christmas has come and gone, and the New Year has begun. It is almost the one year anniversary of the passing of my mom (January 10). Our beloved senior dog, Miss Jordan, passed on December 15th. The void in my life is palpable. Yet I feel a peace, a relief that I haven’t felt in a long time.

When you devote yourself as a caregiver, whether it be to a parent, child, animal, or other, it takes its toll. For parents who have a special needs child, I cannot imagine the lifelong commitment. I assisted my mother for a solid decade and it completely wore me out. Without my spouse and sisters, it would have been unimaginable.

And then there’s Miss Jordan. She was with us for sixteen years. Anyone who has cared for a senior dog will tell you that it’s no picnic. But yet, we care deeply out of love and do everything we can to make them comfortable.

I think she was barely a few months old when my daughter spotted Jordan, tail wagging and looking like she was ready for a new family. Michelene knocked on the door of her birth house, asked if Jordan was available for adoption, and brought her home that day (no charge, by the way).

We had a older border collie mix named Lucky who was not happy when Jordan came. Jordan playfully irritated Lucky to no end, and Lucky would respond with barking until he was hoarse. But Jordan motivated Lucky and I swear he lived a bit longer with her energy.

Jordan defied injury and death a couple of times. She had a habit of chasing deer through our neighboring woods and once I drove around to find her, narrowing catching her before she stepped onto a busy main road. She gave us numerous other causes for alarm, always coming out like a cat with nine lives.

We raised chickens for many years, and early in her puphood we heard cackling in the coop very late one night. Jim took Jordan down and opened the door, only to find a raccoon had infiltrated and was wreaking havoc. Jordan quickly snatched the raccoon behind the ears and in one fell crunch, the offending animal was silenced.

After that, Jordan became fiercely protective of the chickens. She sat outside with them in the evenings when they languished in the yard, feasting on bugs and sometimes, my flowers, roaming freely under her protection. Her reward was a fresh egg, which she gently cracked open, licked from inside out, and devoured completely.

Towards the end of her life, Jordan still walked our field several times a day, her steps a memory from when my grandson Gavin was young. As a child, he drove his Jeep Power Wheels around the parameters every morning and several times a day, Jordan following closely behind. Sticking her nose deeply into the grass, she would sniff out the deer and other varmints that had likely passed through during the night. Even at Jordan’s old age, she still attempted to chase anything that came into her yard because after all, it was HER yard.

Thank you Jordan for your years of devotion. For sharing your joy and patience and inspiring me to sit outside and revel in nature. You were an amazing welcoming committee for every house guest. We love you and will remember you eternally.

Jordan the Wonder Dog
Jordan with Sebastian and Molly (Michelene’s dogs)
My favorite picture of Jordan, captured summer of 2022
Jordan was ready to go anywhere, at any time!

Living In The Moment

(It’s the 11th year of my blog and I’m going to be sharing some of my earliest writings with you. Here’s one of the first I ever published.)

This is easier said than done isn’t it? With the holidays just around the corner, I can really start to feel overwhelmed by the excitement, preparation and….. the worry.

I am a very good worrier. I seem to have been bred for it as my mom and my grandmother were expert worriers. Even when things were going well, they still worried. What if something awful would happen? Let us imagine the worst case scenario and plan for it. Let’s imagine 20 plans of action to the unimaginable and then maybe perhaps we will be prepared.

Somehow one day, I felt my cloak of worry and noticed how heavy it had become. It is just not worth it, I decided, to keep that heavy coat on all the time. I began to peel it off. First, it fell a bit back from my shoulders. Then I took one arm completely out. (whew! even that felt better). Slowly, over time, I took the other arm out and THUD. The coat fell to the ground.

I realize now that I do have the ability to handle anything that life may challenge me with. I am up to the task. And I have people in my life that love me and are willing to stand by or assist should I need it. Why not take advantage of those things?

Living in the moment is how I deal with any attempts of my own to retreat back into my cloak of worry. Living in the moment frees up mental space and allows me to enjoy who I am spending time with and what I have chosen to do at this moment.

English: Trees in the snow
Enjoy the moment!

It’s nice to share. Thank you.

God Has Confidence in Me

Photo by Joe Indovina
Photo by Joe Indovina

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about minding my own business. It was called Keeping My Spoon in My Own Bowl. Since then, a few more things have happened that have me scratching my head in wonder.

I’m not sure if it’s this long winter and the toll it is taking on me or others, but honestly, I’m feeling like I need a long vacation. I seem to be ticking people off and not in a good way. It’s been a very trying couple of weeks.

So what do you do when your words or actions are fodder to the fire to another person? I know what I used to do. Admit to nothing, deny everything and counter accuse. I literally could do no wrong. Never looking at my own part in any conflict used to be the norm, even when I might have had that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

What is the difference now? When I upset someone, even if I mean no malice or ill will, I will apologize. If I feel truly in my heart I did no wrong, I will still say “I”m sorry” if someone takes what I did as a personal attack. With this action, I pay attention to my side of the street. I keep it clean.

I do this because I know deep down, God has confidence in me. If there is a lesson to be learned, then let me learn it. Perhaps I am being used as an instrument for someone else’s lesson. Whatever the reason, my soul is restored through honesty and the willingness to look at the log in my eye instead of the splinter in everyone else’s.

The maladies I caused myself by my own past thinking, stinking thinking as I like to call it, were numerous. Sore back, restlessness, discontent, sleeping problems, irritability. It was because my slate was not clean. I carried around burdens and behaviors that I didn’t know how to get rid of. Only through deep introspection and revelation to trusted individuals were these burdens removed. And then apologies doled out, the sweet antidote to my troubled ego.

I fight this of course. Don’t think I go around apologizing and then feeling all cozy and warm. My head fights with me, I chastise myself for getting into situations and not thinking more clearly. But, who is to say that my challenges were not exactly as God planned them? Maybe they were meant that way for a reason.

DSC_0036So I keep plodding along, putting one foot in front of the other, waiting for spring, waiting for the promise of renewal. I will watch for the snow drops soon; they will begin to come up in my back yard. I embrace the sunrise and the sunset because that gets me closer to the beauty of a new season, a fresh start. I go easy on myself because deep down, I am keeping the faith.

Keeping My Spoon in My Own Bowl

Bowl Stack

Hence, in this life we shall attain nothing like perfect humility and love. So we shall have to settle, respecting most of our problems, for a very gradual progress, punctuated sometimes by heavy setbacks. Our oldtime attitude of all or nothing will have to be abandoned. Grapevine 1962

So as usual, God has an interesting way of teaching me a good lesson in humility.

Something I did recently, with no harm intended, triggered a domino effect of major proportions. This has served as a reminder to me that a desire for control will sometimes present itself in the most creative ways. And sadly, an issue that could have been solved in a quiet and kind way, ended up bruising my ego and yes I admit, my heart.

I am surviving this by remembering what an old friend taught me years ago. I need to keep my spoon in my own bowl. It is a hard thing to do but truly I think, therein lies the secret to serenity.

When I have my spoon in my own bowl, I cannot pay attention to what is going on in other people’s bowls. Minding my own business becomes easier. It helps me set boundaries and parameters that keep my head in line with my heart. I remind myself, “What other folks do, or think of me is really none of my business.” My own mental health becomes a number one priority.

Bowl SingleYears ago, I had a terrible falling out with a close friend. She was under a lot of stress and one day, called to read me the riot act for a good 5-10 minutes over something I did. During the course of the conversation, she continued to berate me even though I apologized several times. I almost hung up on her but out of respect for our long friendship, I held on until the end.

It took a week or two but I sent her a card. I thanked her for her honesty. I tried to think of that note as act of humility, not a humiliating act.

Our friendship suffered greatly because of this incident. Eventually, I let go of the pain. I didn’t spread any gossip nor did I try and get other friends to take sides. That would have been the easy road. I could have avoided our whole group of friends so I wouldn’t see her. But I was not about to give up my other friends because of what had happened. I continued to show up at get togethers. I just kept my distance from my old friend.

Years later, it was she who reached out to repair our relationship. I welcomed her with open arms. We are dear friends again and I would do just about anything for her.

While driving home today a thought crossed my mind. Could my own humility be a God lesson to someone else? Is it possible that in my own self centeredness, I fail to stop and consider what someone else might learn in a challenging situation? Who knows? I try not to really think about it because after all, my spoon is in my own bowl.

Bowl Multiples with Red Vase

(all photos by me and my lovely Android cell phone!)

How do you practice humility?

Make A Joyful Noise

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Beside them the birds of heavens dwell; they sing among the branches. Psalm 104:12

The holiday season is upon us and though it seems the nature world is quiet, it is really not. Birds are still singing and deer are crunching along on the snow covered spots in my backyard.

I’m not a big fan of winter but this year it doesn’t seem to be bothering me. After the past few years of hot flashes, the coldness is a welcome relief and my sleep has been deep and comforting. This is something to be thankful for.

I bought a big bag of birdseed and when it snowed last week, I fed the birds from my backyard feeder. They put on a show for me and I am comforted by their presence. I think their colors are a beautiful backdrop to white snow.

DSC_0666Something interesting happened on Monday. I am reading a book that I will be reviewing, and it mentioned sending an “intention” out (more on this when I write the actual review!). So I did. I don’t even remember what the intention was, but it had something to do with my wedding planning business.

That night, I had a dream about a bride and a wedding. I did not recognize the bride but she was lovely. In the dream I was a part of her wedding. The next day (I kid you not) I received an email from a young woman, asking me to assist her with her wedding.

I have no idea if it was the intention or the timing or maybe a little bit of both. Perhaps it is just faith. I am approaching this business, my event planning business, from an entirely new position. Years ago, I was fairly aggressive when I was self employed. Things were good; I was successful and happy. This time, I am determined not to be a bothersome pest. I believe that if someone needs me, God will put me in their path.

JOYLast Christmas, you may remember that I received a word at a gathering of friends. That word was JOY. I have to tell you, it has been a joyous year despite many challenges, including my mother’s illness and my departure from full time employment. I kept JOY in mind all the year through and I am grateful for the many blessings I have received.

I hope you are living joyfully! How have you been?

What I Am Grateful For

Pine Trees Winter 2013
Pine Trees Winter 2013

Here it is- the first big snow of the season. Today is Thanksgiving in the USA and the Northeast is in the grips of some pretty cold weather. Thankfully, I am not traveling. I am the chef du jour, making most of the gratitude dinner with a little help from my friends.

My mom has been with me for a few days. I gave her a lecture a month or so ago about snow. If we are expecting any big accumulations I said, you have to come over. She didn’t argue with me when I told her Monday morning I was coming to pick her up.

So she and I have been spending some quality time together. I decided to put up my Christmas tree on Tuesday because I had a whole free day (and it snowed all day!) and those little lights just bring a lift to my heart. The nativity set went underneath right away. I have to keep in mind the reason for the season.

Region 1 DVD cover
Region 1 DVD cover (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We indulged in a whole recliner session of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. It occurred to me how Rudolph was bullied- no playing with the others in reindeer games, all because of that red nose. I seriously shed a tear when the program was over and Santa said “Merry Christmas!” from his sky high sleigh.

So as I think about Thanksgiving, there are many things I have to be grateful for. I wanted to share my list with you and I’d love if you’d leave a comment and tell me what you’re most grateful for.

1. Family- Where would I be without them? My husband Jim, my kids Michelene and John, my grandson Gavin, Gavin’s dad Jonathan, my mom Katherine, sisters Mary and Cally and their beautiful partners Starr and Raymond. Jim’s family and both our extended families. My beautiful yellow lab Jordan. They are my greatest treasures.

2. Friends- Oh they have seen me through some troubling times. As has my family but my closest friends are privy to my thoughts, words and deeds of high and low. I owe my salvation to my recovery friends and their infinite wisdom on life and teachings on practicing these principles in all my affairs.

3. Faith- Deep as the ocean, infinite as the sky, my love for God only grows and grows each day. I realize how walking a spiritual path has changed everything. It makes me understand that I am not in control and God is.

I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving! If you are alone, give me or a close friend of yours a call. We should all be together on Thanksgiving.

I wish you a happy Thanksgiving of great blessings! Tell me, what are you grateful for?

I Love What You Are Doing

Beautiful Things Grow from Fertile Ground
Beautiful Things Grow from Fertile Ground

“I will be generous with my love today. I will sprinkle compliments and uplifting words everywhere I go. I will do this knowing that my words are like seeds and when they fall on fertile soil, a reflection of those seeds will grow into something greater.”
Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

I made a couple of small speeches over the weekend. Nothing big. I had prepared for them, written them myself and got through both events with a little help from above.

Apparently my words touched a few people because I got some really good, squeezy hugs from my friends. And one of my dearest friends actually crossed a room to get to me. He made my day when he told me how much what I said meant to him.

I can sometimes tell exactly where people are in their mental and emotional state just by how many compliments they give. People who are not in a good place will likely not give compliments. How do I know this? I was one of those people.

When I was jealous, I did not give compliments. When I was stressed and overworked, I did not want to see someone else full of spirituality and grace. This actually would tick me off. How dare they be in such a good place when my life was such a challenge?

What I realized is the path into the light includes compliments. You just can’t get around it. When I look at others through my spiritual lenses, they are a child of God. I see their attributes, not necessarily their faults. If I see their faults, they are masked by the person’s own hidden potential.

And so I compliment. Nothing phony. The real thing. You look lovely today. I love what you are doing- you are an instrument of God’s great love. When I say it I mean it.

And, I try and be a good compliment taker. In other words, when you compliment me I will hopefully say thank you. I will smile at you. You will probably make my day.

What kind of person do I want to be? I want to be the kind of person who is happy for others. For what they have accomplished and what they feel good about. I want to take those good points and bring them out into the light. There they will gather speed and bring more good light into the world.

“You are the Light of the World” Matthew 4: 14-16

(Pay a compliment to someone today!)

How do you feel about compliments? How do you feel when someone compliments you?

Everything I Own Has Alittle Bit of Doghair On It

 

Our favorite dog Ms. Jordan
Our favorite dog Ms. Jordan

“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.”
Josh Billings

(Updated June 2018)

I put a jacket on the other day and there they were- golden yellow flecks of dog hair. I put a pair of black pants on to go to a special event- there they were again- pale small bits of hair.

Everything I own has alittle bit of doghair on it.

Do I say with this impatience, aggravation or anger? No. As a matter of fact, I have complete and total acceptance of dog hair.

Our yellow lab, Jordan, is a member of our family. We have had her now for eleven years and it seems like she has been with us always. I try and remember life without her and it just doesn’t seem the same.

My daughter found Jordan (or Jordan found her) when she went to pick up her son one day at his father’s house. Michelene said when she came back out to the car, Jordan was sitting next to the car wheel smiling as if to say “Here I am! What are we doing next!?”

Thank goodness Michelene had the nerve to go to Jordan’s house of origin and ask if she was available for adoption. The family said “Hold on a minute” and came back and said “You can take her.”

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I fell instantly in love when I saw Jordan. Lab/retriever pups are too cute and the bond between Jordan and us was immediate. We had a border collie at that time too. I don’t think Lucky was initially excited about another competitor in the house. Thankfully he got used to it and they played like brother and sister.

Chicken PictureJordan is outside most of the day and is our official “protector of the chickens.” That is, we have a coop with ten chickens and she protects them from hawks and wildlife. In the late afternoon we let the chicks out to roam. Jordan is ever watchful, ever vigilant. For her devotion, she gets a fresh egg reward.

To watch Jordan eat an egg is like being witness to a spiritual experience. She handles it like glass. Gently taking it in her mouth, she lays it down on the ground. How she cracks it open so perfectly I don’t know. When she licks the egg out you know she is savoring it. Finally, she eats the shell and finishes the treat.

If anyone raises their voice at our house, Jordan walks over and nudges them. She is uncomfortable with upset people, us or guests, and she has become an emotional barometer for our household. Get too excited and Jordan will gently touch you and make you calm the heck down.

Are you worried about something? Jordan will come and look at you with her big eyes, silently requesting a head scratch or belly rub. By the time you are done, your problem will not seem so big.

I consider Jordan one of the most precious gifts in my life. She keeps me company when Jim works a long shift. It is just me and her some nights. I am fine with that.

 

Living Generously

Mom and her delicious Finikia!
Mom and her delicious Finikia!

“Give , and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.” Luke 6:38

I would have to say that my mother has set the best example for me of living generously.

She does not have all that much but what she has she will share with you unselfishly. Preferring not to spend money on herself, she will lavishly offer to spring for lunch or try to give me money when I buy her something that is really a gift.

Case in point, my sister Mary is coming to town in a couple of weeks and my mom already has the itinerary pretty much finished (this is why I am an event planner!). One day’s activities involves going to our church’s mini food festival and mom has already told me she is paying for dinners- lamb, pastichio, stuffed grape leaves, etc.

Over my objections (it does no good) she has told me she will take care of the food bill that night.

I used to think my mom financially cut herself a bit too close at times but as I get older, and closer to God, I think honestly she has the right idea. Everything she needs has been provided to her. She is well taken care of and in good health now (thank you!). Happy to be with her simple things, she is content to have just enough.

I firmly believe the old wives saying of “you can’t take it with you”. I love how wealthy people are giving their money away in clever and creative ways, not leaving it all for their children but making them earn it themselves.

I found this link recently to an article about wealthy people who have decided not to leave their fortunes to their kids. Warren Buffet for instance has pledged to give away 99% of his wealth either during his life or before he dies. He has already pledged 83% of it to the Gates Foundation.

What about simple folk like me? I am still finding creative ways to be generous, despite my limited income these days. Giving of my time (without expecting payment) to good causes is my favorite generous act of late. I also like to treat to things that are only a few dollars- coffee or dessert for a friend, a nice book from the used book store. I love these forms of generosity; they keep my feet firmly planted where they need to be, in service to others.

If I am tempted to be selfish with my time or money, I remind myself how generosity will come back to me multiplied.

Blessings to you today! What is your favorite act of generosity?

Pondering Some Sweet Things

One of my new friends! Sweet Bites Cookies
One of my new friends! Sweet Bites Cookies

I’ve met some interesting people in the last couple of weeks as I venture out and promote my wedding and event business.

There was the group of local women business owners who invited me to a networking event last week. Included in the bunch was a lovely woman who brought her magic cookies and shared them with all of us. I was so impressed with Diane that I’m adding her to my business website! (Click on the link under the cookie picture to check her out)

I also went to see a local farm- Destiny Hill– that does weddings on their real working lavender farm. And they design bridal flowers pulled from their own flower beds! I was in love with the place from the moment I drove up the driveway!

There was something interesting too that happened to me last week that I’ve been wanting to share with you. Here goes….

Can you see them?
Can you see them?

I was driving on a road just minutes away from my own home, engrossed in thinking about my business. (I’ve been doing that a lot lately!) So catching myself, I took a minute for a gratitude prayer and then asked God for assistance with my new venture. In the next minute, the car in front of me slowed down. I glanced up to see what was going on and there was the source. A gaggle of small turkeys, slowly making their way across the road, completely stopping traffic. As they reached the other side, the lead turkey decided she really didn’t want that side, she wanted the other side.

So they all turned around and went back across the road.

I pulled my car over to the berm, so excited about the turkeys that I grabbed my cell phone. Not wanting to scare them, I kept back and was able to snap a picture or two. Other cars sped on as soon as the turkeys were off the road. I stood a moment or two until they disappeared into the brush.

What does this beautiful nature sighting mean? To me it was an instant affirmation that God is with me. S(he) is watching over me and hears my prayers. All I need to do is believe and things will work out as they should, not by my plan but by a divine plan. To see my favorite creatures in such multiples, I can’t help but be overwhelmed by the sight. To me, it is a sign of future abundance as long as I am willing to keep a grateful heart.

What’s your favorite creature of nature? I’d love to know!

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