Tag: Faith

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God is in the Parking Spaces

I try not to take my peaceful state of mind these days for granted. Blessed in many ways, there was a period in my life when my faith was not in a good place. Some sad events were going on that had me thinking I was being punished for some bad deed(s) I had committed somewhere along the lines of my life. I wasn’t even sure what the deeds were. I was caught up a depression, the likes of which I had never experienced.

There was a group of friends who saw me through this bad period. They shared their own experiences, strength and hope with me. Not necessarily church goers, they none the less had their core grounded in a power greater than themselves.

For a while, they were the source of my everyday strength. When I was down, they lifted me up. When I was fine, they encouraged me to grow. They hung out with me when I was depressed. I got tired sometimes of their relentless optimisms, but I kept coming back for more. I envied their serenity and peace of mind. They were willing to cede unmanageable parts of their life to God.

Little by little, their faith began to seep into my heart. My friends were living happy lives, though not necessarily problem- free. I was getting brave enough to give faith a new go.

English: Parking spaces, Moira They run parall...
Say a prayer!

Around this time I owned a street front business with challenging parking. Many times, I would arrive with supplies to unload only to find no parking spaces available. One day I decided to ask God to have a space available to me when I got there. Miraculously, there was a space waiting for me, right across the street from my store. I thought hmmmm, probably just a coincidence. The next time I did the same thing. Prayed. Parking space again. Then, bravely, I started to ask for parking in other areas of the city. Again, I would almost always find a space when I needed it.

This tiny turning over was the sprout of my renewed faith. I slowly began to turn over (i.e. give up control of!) my slightly more annoying problems and ask for help. I didn’t ask that it be done my way. I didn’t have the strength for that and besides, my way was not working.  Slowly, my problems began to get solved. I really didn’t do anything but pray for help and WAIT.

It takes some self control not to force solutions. Personally, I like to be in charge and call the shots. But there is a calm and peace in not feeling compelled to solve every problem or climb every mountain. Letting my faith take over is a heck of a lot less stressful.

Today, my life is in a better place. It’s not always perfect (far from it!) but today I live day to day knowing that whatever life throws at me, things will work out if I just have faith. One of my friends once said, God never hurries but he’s always on time. I find that to be true time and time again.

Thanks for stopping by my space!

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Jordan, the Wonder Dog

I’d like you to meet a special member of my family. This is Ms. Jordan. Just like any other family who has a beloved pet, we think Jordan is just the icing on the cake. We are not sure of her exact breed, but obviously she is a lab/retriever mix. And, she seems to have the gifted traits of both of those breeds.

We didn’t have to pay a cent for Jordan. My daughter Michelene was at a friend’s house one day and when she came out to her car to leave, there was a buttery colored pup sitting by her car tire. Mickey said it’s as if Jordan was saying  “what’s happening! what are we doing next!?” Mickey knew where Jordan lived so she walked to the house, knocked on the door and inquired as to her availability. The next thing you know, she was ours.

Jordan has been with us almost five years now. Her biggest claim to fame is her reputation as a fearless hunter. She will not allow any wild animals in her yard. Raccoons, groundhogs, possums, beware! She grabs any intruder by the scuff of the neck and they are (gulp) history. 

The reason for this? One reason could be our chickens. We have a coop on our property that is home to nine chickens. When Jordan was maybe a year old, a possum got into the chicken coop in early spring (in the middle of the night!) and the noise should have woke the dead. As soon as we opened the door to the coop Jordan moved in and that poor possum never knew what hit it.

Since then, Jordan has become very protective of the chickens (we call them “the girls”). Every morning, Jordan checks the girls with Jim (my SO) to make sure everyone is ok. When all have been accounted for, Jordan receives her prize: the oh so yummy treat of a fresh egg.  Jordan lays it on the ground, cracks it open gently, licks out the insides, then delicately eats the shell. To watch an 80 lb dog eat something so gently just makes you shake your head in amazement.

The chasing of small prey though has unfortunately had its consequences. Jordan has compromised the ACL muscle in her back right leg. At first, she would limp on and off but gradually this became more of a problem. We took her to the vet, xrays were done and options were discussed. Low and behold, Jordan now wears a harness with a flexible leg cuff that enables her to live just about normally.

The harness/cuff apparatus was an expensive package($400- $500).  Coincidentally (or not!), I received a bonus from work just about the same time we realized Jordan was going to need the harness. Not long after I got the news of the price of the harness, I was in my car. I couldn’t help but feel sad and sorry for myself over spending my bonus on this expensive apparatus. Geez, easy come easy go, I thought. As I was driving the two lane road to work, I noticed a large semi truck coming towards me, on the other side. This truck had a fancy wind deflector on top of the cab. I looked up at the right moment and noticed the word on the wind deflector: JORDAN.

Well, I burst out in laughter. My anger and irritation vanished. I realized at that moment my bonus money was for Jordan, not me. It came through me, that’s all. This event stayed with me for a while. I honestly believe God sees things coming. He sends gifts (opportunities!) through others because he knows what we are going to need. If we are paying attention, we’ll notice they are truly gifts.

I hope I said thank you that day for the bonus which enabled us to give Jordan the gift of a normal life. If not, I’m saying it now, in front of everyone. Thank you!!

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My Idea of Heaven

On my way home there is a spot on the highway where, if the sun is setting and it’s in exactly the right spot, the brilliance of the rays captures my attention and inspires me to think of heaven.

One day it was lightly raining when I was approaching this spot and I wished I had a camera in my car to capture the image. It was sunny, rainy and hazy all at once (like potential rainbow kind of weather). When my car began to go further into the yellowy haze, I felt momentarily engulfed. For a brief second, I was scared. Then I was not. Then, I was in awe. I wondered is this what the entrance to heaven may be like? The experience lasted less than one minute. But I can bring it up in my mind anytime and I often do.

I grew up hearing about heaven and hell in church. My take on religion when I was a child and later into adulthood was that you either behaved or you were done for. God was the big police officer in the sky.

Thankfully, I no longer believe in a punishing God. I believe in a loving, forgiving God and a God with an occasional great sense of humor. My current views of heaven therefore, can involve some silly stuff. I’ll save some of my thoughts for another blog post, but today I want to share with you my absolute favorite idea of what heaven could be.

various potato dishes: potato chips, hashbrown...
Yay! Endless Potatoes!

My favorite idea of heaven is that of endless potatoes. Yes, you read correctly- potatoes. Potatoes in every way shape or form. Crispy french fries with melted cheese and crumbled bacon on them. Mashed yukon gold potatoes with lots of butter and maybe some roasted garlic cloves smashed into them. Baked potatoes with lots of butter and sour cream. Even sweet potatoes with butter and brown sugar.

Get the idea? And, of course none of these would contain any calories whatsoever. I would just eat and eat to my heart’s potato content and none of my potato feasts would show up anywhere on my stomach or thighs!

When I am with potatoes, nothing else really matters but the potatoes. Meat be gone! Salad….for bunnies! I love potatoes! Hopefully, when I walk through those pearly gates, God will be standing there with a big plate of yes, cheesy potatoes!

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The Graceful Light

christmas candles on the morning table
The Graceful Light

The holidays are over and the January darkness has really settled in. Thank God there have been some sunny days or I would really be going crazy. And, as if a great gift was bestowed upon us all, the moon last night was so gorgeous, so full and bright, its long stream of light running down as if to the ground. It was mesmerizing.

Winter darkness pushes me to think about the light and how it has the power to transform me into a person of less worry. When I think of Grace, I think of the light. If I am worried about a problem or situation, bringing it out into the light can help it lose some serious steam.

When I am scared or have a situation in which I don’t know what to do, calling on Grace works. My innermost fears can eat me from the inside out and they can be dangerous stuff. Believing in the light enables me to pull out my fears, one by one, look at them and realize their root. When I take my time and slowly work through them, these fears turn into fearless blips on the radar of my life.

The light can fill me with hope, comfort and warmth. Thank goodness it’s free for the taking.  When I wrap myself in the glow, I feel protected and calm. Life seems less hurried and less intense.

I hope you have a gracefully bright day!

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Coloring Outside the Lines

World-famous Crayola crayons are manufactured ...
What's your favorite color?

Coloring was one of my favorite things to do as a child. Back then of course there were no video games and limited tv channels. Life was simplier. I loved to color for hours.

That said, I remember outlining the edge of whatever I was coloring with a bold or dark color and then filling in the design, character (whatever) by lightly laying my crayon on its side and moving back and forth. I was a very neat colorer.

Recently, I came to view my husband as one who probably likes to color outside the lines. A funny incident occurred in which he was not really coloring but the thought process was quite the same. Here’s how it went. He was making an easy recipe of Stove Top stuffing, chicken, sour cream and cream of mushroom soup. And, he was making it for the entire family, including my son’s practically new girlfriend that I am hoping is (up to this point) thinking that we are the greatest thing since sliced bread.

(FYI, I want to mention that Stove Top chicken bake is not my idea of a gourmet or even a special meal, but occasionally we really love chicken and stuffing. And besides, it is a really easy meal so what’s not to love?)

But instead of making the recipe in the traditional way, my significant other did it his way. He laid the entire bag of dry stuffing on the bottom of the pan. He put the chicken on top of the dry stuffing then he mixed the soup with water and poured it over top of everything. He completely forgot (or shall I say….eliminated the sour cream). When I asked him why he didn’t follow the recipe, his answer was “it’s the same concept”.

I was tempted to either read him the riot act or pretend I had a last minute engagement I had to attend. I decided instead to let it go. When everyone was getting ready to sit down for dinner, my son’s girlfriend asked how he made the chicken bake. My husband generously offered the recipe to which I couldn’t help but add “that’s not really the recipe. he just likes to color outside the lines….”

This got a chuckle from everyone, including my husband. And how was dinner? Well, it was fine though the stuffing did not all puff up and so some of it stuck to the bottom of the pan. With a little cranberry sauce, it was just fine. Everyone declared it delicious and hey, I didn’t have to make dinner!

So though I like to color inside the lines, there are clearly others who love to go beyond and color wildly. I need to respect that. That is what makes life alittle more colorful.

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Magical Moments

English: Fireworks on the Fourth of July
Happy New Year!

How was your New Year’s? I spent mine differently this year. Usually I stay home with my significant other, have something special to eat then either go to bed early or watch the ball drop, then go to bed.

I belong to a church that had a New Year’s dance this year so I knew I had to go and support it. My mom wanted to come as did two other couples we know via the sobriety community.

We had a wonderful time. It is amazing how truly possible it is to have a good time without alcoholic beverages. The food was good, the music was great and it felt magical to be out celebrating a holiday with so many other people.

Two other moments happened on New Year’s Eve day. First, I sent a text to my husband about a friend of ours and in less than a minute, the friend just happened to call me. In another moment, I walked to my mailbox (it is down abit on our road) and while there, I saw my nephew about to leave for a three week journey to another country. I ran to give him a hug and kiss and wish him safe travels.

These small moments mean something very big to me. The timing of them suggests a spiritual connectedness. It makes me wonder: if I was less distracted by minor concerns, would I notice more opportunities that I may be currently missing? Could I be led along a more meaningful path if only I paid a bit more attention?

I am always searching for a deeper relationship with God and to my fellow human beings. Experimenting with different acts of loving kindness, surrounding myself with people who are also striving for meaningful relationships, and trying to live a less ME- centered life may make this happen.

In 2012, my goal is to slow down and listen for direction instead of forcing it. Who knows where I may end up? Happy New Year to you!

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Humility does not need to be Humiliating….

Cup of Coffee with Spices
Take your time!

As I write this, I am at a coffee shop using my small laptop and a new Christmas present. My son, who has helped me numerous times with all things tech based, informed a relative of mine that a great Christmas gift for me would be a wireless mouse to work alongside my little laptop.

I got some quick instructions when I opened my mouse gift a couple of days ago. It went something like this: plug the USB port into your laptop, turn on the mouse, place the port here for storage……..

Sounds easy, yes? Yes, but I have always been fearful of learning something new, especially when it involves technology. I still try, but I am half scared to death when I do it. This morning, I thought for sure I would not be able to figure out where to plug the USB port into my laptop. Well, I figured it out and my computer did not crash, I did not have a meltdown and I did not make a complete fool of myself in the middle of the coffee shop. Also, my computer warned me immediately that my laptop battery was low. I took my handy dandy cord, plugged it into the wall socket and into the correct port on my computer, and viola! I can write all I want.

Why do I occasionally panic about this little stuff? The tiny voice inside my head wants to talk me out of any new endeavor for fear of failure. Danger! Danger! This is way too hard!…or so it likes to tell me….

Then, somewhere between a state of panic and my ego I find humility.

Per Wikipedia, humility is the quality of being modest and respectful. I think humility does not need to be humiliating. While I trusted my ability to figure out the mouse, I realized that I needed to take my time, remember my son’s instructions and give it my best shot. Ego has to take a back seat too because if I did not take time to remember my son’s instructions, I would barrel through the process, likely with no thought to what I was really doing.

I recently completed a large project at work that required my learning a whole new database management system. Since I’d only been with this company for two months before the download of hundreds of names into the new database, I thought, (panicky) how am I going to do this? Will I really be able to figure out this new system? How I did it was one name at a time. Instead of thinking about the whole project looming ahead of me, I concentrated on one letter of the alphabet and one name at a time. I took the tutorials the software company offered and asked questions when I couldn’t figure things out. The project took three months but I finished before my goal date. I felt really good about it when I was all done.

The older I get the more I realize it is truly ok to make mistakes in the learning process known as LIFE. Recognizing myself as a beautiful human being, strengths and weaknesses included, keeps my humility in the right place and my faith on the front burner.

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Christmas Expectations

Take a rest from expectations!

Christmas brings out the best and worst in me.

I like to organize, plan and execute the most perfect events. I like my presents to be carefully chosen and exquisitely wrapped. I like my cookies to be freshly baked and melt in your mouth buttery. I watch shows on how to do it all; I read articles and email blasts on the greatest holiday gift ideas, the perfect way to use leftover turkey, etc. etc…..

That said, I can also have the world’s worst case of holiday depression from trying to do it all and expecting others to know how I want it done. I am better than I used to be in this regard (oh, the perfectionism!), but I can still use a bit more work in the whole realistic/unrealistic thinking arena.

My husband likes to say that an expectation is a premeditated resentment. I think this hits the nail on the head! Better to go with the flow, let things happen as they will and mind my own business. If I let go my expectations towards others and myself, my life is much happier and easier.

Merry Christmas my friend!

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Living in the moment…..

This is easier said than done isn’t it? With the holidays just around the corner (heck, they’re here!) I can really start to feel overwhelmed by the excitement, preparation and….. the worry.

I am a very good worrier. I seem to have been bred for it as my mom and my grandmother were expert worriers. Even when things were going well, they still worried. What if something awful would happen? Let us imagine the worst case scenario and plan for it. Let’s imagine 20 plans of action to the unimaginable and then maybe perhaps we will be prepared.

Somehow one day, I felt my cloak of worry and noticed how heavy it had become. It is just not worth it, I decided, to keep that heavy coat on all the time. I began to peel it off. First, it fell a bit back from my shoulders. Then I took one arm completely out. (whew! even that felt better). Slowly, over time, I took the other arm out and THUD. The coat fell to the ground.

I realize now that I do have the ability to handle anything that life may challenge me with. I am up to the task. And I have people in my life that love me and are willing to stand by or assist should I need it. Why not take advantage of those things?

Living in the moment is how I deal with any attempts of my own to retreat back into my cloak of worry. Living in the moment frees up mental space and allows me to enjoy who I am spending time with and what I have chosen to do at this moment.

English: Trees in the snow
Enjoy the moment!

 

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