Love and Marriage

Looking pretty spiffy at the FOCUS fundraiser
Looking pretty spiffy at the FOCUS fundraiser

“If I get married, I want to be very married.”
Audrey Hepburn

I love to hear Jim tell the story of how we met. When people ask, he tells it like this. “I was at the VIP in Baden (a disco) and looked across the room. I saw this beautiful woman, sitting at a table full of dirty glasses and I could have heard a pin drop. I said to my friend Jeff, I am going to marry that girl.”

If you believe in love ever after, then I have to say you are in good company. Jim and I are coming up on thirty four years of marriage. He still thinks I am a size five. I am one lucky girl.

I could tell you it has all been wine and roses but that would not be the truth. Anyone who has been in a long term relationship will say HA! to that. It’s true. We have been through our share of thick and thin.

At the start of our marriage, Jim switched careers and went to nursing school (a good move). We had children young (never regretted, also a good move). I started a gourment coffee business, then a major competitor came to town (bummer). We remodeled our house a couple of times. We got a dog, chickens, bees, and a grandson (awesome stuff).

Jim is my biggest cheerleader. He is always behind me; game for almost anything I have a desire to do. He also pushes me to do things I don’t always want to do- like looking at the reality of situations. Or asking me what my motivation is behind doing the things I want to do. When I’m upset about something small, he reminds me I have bigger fish to fry.

If I could describe Jim in a few words it would be “easy does it.” I bought him a license plate for the front of his truck that actually says this, because it is true. He will rarely get fluffed about anything and when he does, he tends to only tell people he really trusts. He isn’t a blabber mouth. He is a man of few words but those words are either hilariously funny or seriously wisdom filled.

I am thankful that God brought Jim and I together. Sometimes when I am troubled, I get up so close to him that he probably cannot breathe. I can feel my heart beat slower and more confidently, just because he is near me. I can hug him for a long time and he will let me.

If I could give advice to any newly married couple it would be this. You cannot be selfish when you are married. In order to have a loving, serious relationship, you have to be unselfish. And you have to have respect for your partner, no matter what. You can disagree, have different opinions, but you have to love and respect them for who they are. 

Jim and I work on our marriage. We spend time together and make dates when we know that we have been too busy. Our friends are a huge part of our life. We have separate hobbies but we also love many things mutually- good food, family, and outdoor spaces.

How blessed I have been. Happy Valentine’s Day Jim!

Join me on my graceful journey.

27 Replies to “Love and Marriage”

  1. I love this post! You and Jim are an awesome and inspiring couple! I am blessed to have known both of you. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and Jim! (In my house is been known as ‘Jeremy’s birthday’ for 29 years now!)

  2. What a beautiful story. I am so Blessed to have both of you as cousin’s. I love you both very much. you have a beautiful family. God Bless both of you.

  3. A rare and true blessing, indeed, Joanne. Such a sweet Valentine message. May you share many, many more wonderful years together…Amen! Wonderful advice to newly weds.

    Blessings for a beautiful upcoming anniversary,
    Marianne xo

  4. Hi Joanne, I’m a romantic and what a beautiful love story you have. Your guy sounds very special and I love the size 5 bit. Whenever my husband guesses my weight–always in some context or another–he throws out a number he thinks is accurate and rolls along with the conversation. The number he picks is usually -30 and, inevitably, I think how blessed I am. Thanks for sharing a glimpse of your blessed marriage. Happy Valentine’s Day! — Viv

  5. “BEAUTIFUL”……what a fine example you are to this world! By the way…that picture would be a beauty to frame!! Happy Valentine’s Day!

  6. I love this! You two are the sweetest and definitely an inspiration. I loved your marriage advice… I’ll be passing that along to my dear husband 😉


  7. I love this post SO MUCH! Thank you Joanne, for sharing how blessed you have been and in so doing helping me (again!) recognize how blessed I am as well. This is the most beautiful Valentine’s post ever. Thank you for this beautiful reminder of the joys that come from tending our own ‘garden’ of marriage. Blessings, Gina

  8. Beautiful picture of you two, Joanne. And the details are wonderful. I believe some things are just meant to be, so you hold hands extra tight during the tough stuff, and every day you say a prayer of thanks for the beauty of being with the heart of your heart.

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