Sky Watcher

Photo by Michelene Cain

It’s been a rough week.

Some things happened this past week that were so beyond my control. I badly wanted to take charge of the unmanageable situations, line them up like obedient soldiers, solve each issue one by one. When it was all over I could feed everyone chicken soup and chunky homemade chocolate chip cookies. I just wanted to make it all better.

Instead, I’ve eaten a few too many Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies and prayed for help. Please God, keep me from interfering where I shouldn’t. I can so justify my reasons for intruding, but at this stage of the game I know better.

Assisting others can be one of my star attributes. It can also be one of my biggest character flaws. When I do for others what they can do for themselves, I am robbing them of their own opportunities to grow or feel their own emotions.

For me, the fine line of distinction with regards to assisting others is my motive. Do I want to ride in on my white horse and save the day? Is my offer to help motivated by my own ego? Or is someone in genuine dire need or danger? Sometimes I need a good friend to help me figure things out.

When I am troubled by events beyond my control, I become a sky watcher. God speaks to me through the sky.  And so the past few days, I have taken every advantage to stare at the morning sunrise, the afternoon sun or clouds, and the deep dark sky filled with the stars and full moon of last week. I can be alone for a few minutes and ground myself again to my sense of purpose. That is, I am here to be of service, not to force my will on anyone. And I know deep inside that when I allow my loved ones the opportunity to solve their own problems, I give them (and myself) a great gift.

Photo by Michelene Cain

Faith….In Unlikely Places

I was in Sante Fe, New Mexico staying at a beautiful bed and breakfast with my sister Cally. It had been the first time ever I had gone on vacation purely for myself without husband or kids in tow.

The second day we were there, I mentioned to Cally that we should call our mom (Katherine!) and let her know we had arrived safely. We dialed the number and Katherine answered. After a few minutes of how’s it going, how’s everything, she said to me “are you sitting down”?

So I sat down. I said “What’s up?” She said “Guess who called? Your cousin, Christina…”.  

Christina

This was big news. My cousins, Christina and her older brother Jason, had gone AWOL for a few years and we did not know what happened to them or where they were. Christina calling my mom was nothing short of a miracle.

A few weeks before this momentous phone call, I had been to a small old church for a meeting of friends. For some reason, I thought of my two lost cousins all evening. I happened to use the bathroom (in the basement of the church, of all places) and while I was in there I thought, Dear God, Where are they?

Faith sometimes appears in the strangest of places. I’m sure it appears in church of course. But I know it often happens outside of typically holy places. I never thought praying in a bathroom, especially an unfamiliar bathroom, could have such amazing results.

I don’t remember when I called Christina. It might have been there in Sante Fe or when I got home. I can share with you that the following December, she and her daughter Ariel took a train and shared Christmas with us. Now she comes with her husband, Julio, and occasionally her stepson Adrian. A few years ago, we went to Jason’s wedding and met his now wife- Angela. Jason had a new baby, Jamiya, almost two years ago.

It never ceases to amaze me that we have all been reunited and can look forward to many years together. Whenever I see Christina get out of her car, after a long trip to Pennsylvania to visit us, I pinch myself.

When we turn the impossible over to God, amazing things can happen. Things that we need not have any hand in. All we have to do is believe.

Cheer Up Sleepy Jean

The Monkees, left to right: Micky Dolenz, Davy...
Image via Wikipedia

I can’t believe Davy Jones is gone. I found out on the Yahoo home page yesterday and I just haven’t been the same since.

When I was 9 years old, the Monkees were on television with their weekly show. I don’t think I ever missed an episode. They were so corny and silly, what was not to love? And their music. Awesome. Just the perfect blend of soft pop and sweet melodies.

Back then, my sisters and I were the perfect age for pretending. We loved to pretend that we were the Monkees. I remember getting together with the other neighborhood kids and having a concert in the basement. We asked our moms to be the audience. They politely sat there and gabbed while we played Monkees music and banged away on our musical instruments. We wanted to be just like the Monkees….

Lots of my girlfriends had a crush on Davy Jones but my favorite was Peter Tork. At least there was some hope there. Davy was just too cute, too impossible a dream.

A few years ago, there was a CD available at Costco of greatest hits of the Monkees. I bought it and played “Last Train to Clarksville” over and over again. I just loved that song. But who doesn’t love “Daydream Believer“. Another great song.

Dear Davy, I hope you are banging away on your heavenly tambourine. The Monkees will never be the same without you!

Cedar Lakes West Virginia

Almost Heaven!

I can see why John Denver used to sing about West Virginia. Why he sang,  Almost Heaven, West Virginia.

Jim and I were at Cedar Lakes this past weekend for a spiritual retreat. Cedar Lakes is a conference center in Ripley, WV. The ride was easy and we had good company. We were there with friends and it was unbelievably beautiful despite the chilly weather. I came home completely in love again with West Virginia!

Saturday was cold and windy so we didn’t walk much. I wanted to get some pictures though so I bundled up and took the camera outside. This beautiful covered bridge was part of the view from our lodge room window.

Sunday morning was cold and crisp. The sky was clear and blue. It was wonderful to be among friends but the pictures say it all. I’m going to let them roll…

Good Orderly Direction

Sailboat
Sailboat (Photo credit: Stephen Downes)

In case I haven’t mentioned it lately, I am 54 years young. The era of my 50’s sometimes seems like the most haphazard of my life so far. I can’t remember a decade when I have felt so much like a ship without a rudder.

When I was a small child, I couldn’t wait to be all grown up. In my 20’s it was all about marriage, making babies and managing top sales in a home party business. In my 30’s it was raising babies and starting a real, bricks and mortar business. My 40’s felt powerful, career and otherwise, with the selling of my business, utilizing my skills, and the start of a personal journey for some much needed balance, serenity and faith.

What can I say about my 50’s so far? Well, I feel rich in blessings, deep in spirit and more comfortable in my own skin. I also feel slightly worn out, like a pair of old slippers that are finally broken in. I have let my hair go back to it’s original (non dyed) color. It is an interwoven mix of silver and soft black. I receive lots of compliments on it and alternately, my share of folks who can’t help but stare at it.

My hair, just like me lately, is a wish to be authentic. To dig down deep and present myself as I truly am.

But back to the ship without a rudder. I’ve been thinking that maybe this is a good thing. I have always had goals, aspirations and dreams. I have always loved a good challenge. Maybe for once I can let the wind take me where it wishes and I can give up steering the ship so strongly for a while.

Good Orderly Direction (GOD) for me is about loving myself enough to follow a path that unfolds as it’s divinely meant to. It could unfold into something bigger than I can imagine, or it may just be the rest I’ve been craving. Hopefully it will be a direction that sets my sails for even greater spiritual awareness.

Sunrise over Vero Beach, FL

On Being “Katherine’s Daughter”

In just three short months since I started blogging, life is definitely different. I love writing my blog, being part of the writing world and sharing some inspirational experiences of love, hope and faith.

WordPress.com is the host of my blog. For me it has become a mecca of sorts, where I can rub shoulders with and be inspired by some great writers. When I began the creation process for my blog, the WordPress prompts asked me what is the name of your blog? In the two minutes it took me to think of a name, I chose Katherine’s Daughter. Yes, I am the daughter of a Katherine (with a K!). She is the beautiful woman with me in the picture above. We are all someone’s daughter or son, aren’t we? Perhaps I felt my blog name implied a common bond that I could share with my audience.

That said, I have friends who do not (or did not) have memorable mothers. It doesn’t matter. I swear God sees to it that there is always someone in our life who will love, nurture and care about us. That chosen person will bring out the good parts of us and love us unconditionally, thank goodness. They will mentor us through difficult times. Think of who that person is for you. That person, for me, is Katherine.

My father passed away some fifteen years ago. Katherine is now 82 years old but gets along very well. Her vision is somewhat compromised so Cally, my youngest sister, has begun reading my blog posts to Katherine whenever she visits her.

I spoke with Katherine last night and she mentioned three of my last blog posts. Cally had apparently read all of them to her yesterday and Katherine said something to me about each one. I am truly blessed to have a mother who not only supports my writing but makes positive comments about it! Good Lord, what a blessing!

I want to thank my family and friends who have supported my blog, shared it on their Facebook pages, loved me through this process, even become one of my subscribers. In case you didn’t know, there is a place on my blog page where you can sign up to get my twice weekly blog stories. (Yes, you can have me drop- kicked to your email every week!). Best of all, it is FREE to subscribe. I just love free stuff…don’t you?

My goal is to publish a book, hopefully within a year, with stories on faith and love. A book to warm your heart and help you realize how truly loved you are. So many things have inspired me (another story!) and I just continue to follow my dreams. I hope you don’t mind if I take you with me.

Stretching Spiritually

Two views of local Extension leaders drilling ...
(Photo credit: Cornell University Library)

Just like I exercise to keep my body limber, I believe in exercises that stretch me spiritually. Whether or not I’m in a good place emotionally or mentally, focusing on what I can do to make myself a better person is the stuff good growth is made of.

A few years ago I challenged myself to write down a few things a day I was grateful for. Even though it may not seem so, some days it was hard to come up with one thing. Some days I had a longer list; those were good days.

As I kept up this exercise, I found it became easier and easier to recognize things I could be grateful for. The sunrise, a good meal, time with my kids or husband, a joke that made me laugh out loud; these made my list. I kept an inexpensive journal next to my bed and tried to write something worthwhile each night. What all this brought about was a shift. A shift in thinking how really lucky I was to have so many blessings and grace in my life.

My next exercise challenge was three things a day. This challenge was to do three things a day for someone (any one’s) welfare but not to tell anyone else about it. This was definitely a challenge. I am a good talker and storyteller- wanna -be.

: Parking meter
Image via Wikipedia

So I put coins in parking meters that were about to expire, I lit candles in church for someone who was suffering, I mailed personal notes of love or encouragement to friends. I gave canned goods to the food bank, smiled at strangers and said have a wonderful day! I offered my arm to someone older who needed the stability to cross the street.

The reward? A serious reduction in the world revolving around me. Also, a shift in Ego, the loud mouth in my brain who likes to say “It’s all about me baby!”. Extra reward: peace, serenity, balance.

I still do things every day that I don’t tell anyone about. I figure it’s between me and God. She knows. She smiles down on me and keeps me going in the right direction. She gave me some extra responsibilities lately and I’m trying to show her I’m up to the task. Obviously, she believes in me.

Love-ly Thoughts

Heart by Izaya Shanti

Isn’t this picture just beautiful? It was created by Izaya Shanti, age 5, for his mother Amanda, in honor of her February birthday. Amanda passed away suddenly two and a half years ago and since then, a bunch of family and friends get together on her birthday to celebrate her life.

Amanda loved pasta so Amy, Joel and Becky (her family) always make a big pasta dinner and invite lots of friends over for a noisy, delicious, wonderful eating/sharing/love celebration. This year, I walked into Amy’s kitchen and this beautiful color drawing was smack dab in the middle of the refrigerator. I love color, lots of color, so I kept sneaking glances at Izaya’s masterpiece all evening long.

If you look closely at the picture, there is another picture in the bottom right corner. It is a magnet, cleverly made by Becky and Amy, from one of Amanda’s original art works. Amy gives us all a little gift each year and this year, the magnet was our gift.

Before we sat down to eat, twenty or so of us all held hands around a generous dinner table and said a great big “thank you!” for our gratitude prayer. It was amazing to be all together to share in the day and stuff ourselves full of pasta and delicious cake.

The evening so inspired me I came home and wrote a quick “Love” poem in honor of Amanda.

Here is it:

Love doesn’t covet…..it shares

Love doesn’t confine….it releases

Love doesn’t fear…..it trusts

Love doesn’t keep count…..it is infinite

Love doesn’t hold grudges….it forgives

Love doesn’t argue….it compromises

Love doesn’t envy….it cherishes

Love doesn’t waver…it has faith

by Katherine’s Daughter, inspired by Amanda’s Birthday

February 1, 2012

Happy Birthday Chargeman!

Bad Girls (song)
Image via Wikipedia

It was May 10, 1980. The location? A disco filled with pulsing strobe lights, dancing bodies and the sounds of Donna Summer singing “Bad Girls”. I had just arrived to meet up with some old college girlfriends. They were all getting up to dance. I said I needed a minute to relax. Next thing you know, a handsome young man in a lime green leisure suit asks me if he can sit down and talk. I told him (in a stern voice) to keep moving.

I watched him walk slowly around the room again and make his way back towards me. Feeling like a jerk, I let my guard down and told him he could have a seat. We talked for the rest of the night. I loved to play pinball so we did that together for a while. I wouldn’t let him buy me a drink without reciprocating. He walked me to my car and asked me out on a date.

What a handsome young boy!

One year later we were walking down the aisle together. It has been 30 years since then and today, Jim turns 55 years old.

It is hard to believe we have been together this long. Where have the years gone? We both have thickening middles and we move a bit slower these days. And, as anyone who has been married for a while will tell you, it ain’t always easy. But obviously I was attracted to the right guy because things have just worked out.

Jim has had various nicknames over the years but Chargeman is one of my favorites. This is a name given to him years ago by a group of women who worked with him at the hospital (he’s an RN). I don’t even remember the story much but I think it’s a Superman- like designation. And, he really is a “Chargeman”.

Here’s why. I think God has given Jim a special mission. He was born to help others. If he sees someone in distress, he steps up to the plate. He’s taught me alot about honesty and about “owning it”. Owning it means fessing up to what you are doing and taking responsibility for your own actions. He genuinely wants to live a life of service and help his fellow man.

The "Love Children"

Jim has given me the gift of two great children and subsequently, my grandson. Our kids are the highlight of our union together. We have all been through thick and thin and thankfully, by the Grace of God, we all get along and actually (really!) enjoy spending time together!

A long time ago, we finally gave away the lime green leisure suit. It hung for years in our closet. (I think neither one of us wanted to give it away!) Jim’s favorite movie when we met was “Saturday Night Fever”. We watched it together not too long ago and had a good chuckle!

If you know Jim, be sure and wish him a Happy Birthday today!

To Amy, With Love

A few years ago my husband Jim and I were invited, by our good friends Amy and Joel, to spend a weekend in a cabin among the beautiful tall trees of Cook Forest.

If you have never been to Cook Forest, it is worth the drive. It is a rustic, back- in- time, beautiful kind of state park. It is lush with trees, big rocks, streams (you can go canoeing!) and of course the usual little gift shops. It’s very spiritual and a great place to unwind.

That weekend Jim, Joel and I got to the cabin ahead of Amy. Amy was riding up with her daughter Becky. Apparently it had been a long drive because when Amy got out of the truck, the first thing she did was bend over, grab a flat rock and turn it over.

I missed this somehow but Jim caught sight of it. He said to me later, “Did you see what Amos (our pet name for Amy) did when she got here?” He clued me in. What this meant was, something frustrating had gone on in the truck and Amy, in her wisdom, decided to turn it over.

Turn it over means let it go. Sometimes it can mean look at it in a different way. Other times it means I’m so angry I can hardly think!

Amy and her grandbaby, Willow

Amy has been an example to me of how to turn it over. She has had some troubling things happen to her in the last couple of years…. things that would have sent others over the edge. She just keeps going, keeps turning it over, keeps faith in her core. I can have the worst possible day going but if I see Amy, I always feel better.

Sometimes we all need an extra prayer. This week is a trying week for Amy as some memories are front and center. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. I’d really appreciate it. Thank you and have a blessed day!

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