Pittsburgh Bloggers – Joanne Jamis Cain

August 4, 2019August 4, 2019

What My Granddaughter is Teaching Me

Joanne reflects on the wisdom of her three year old granddaughter.

Life lately has been a bit different. My son John, daughter in law Jessica, and my three year old granddaughter Penny have temporarily come to live with us. After selling their house in the East End of Pittsburgh, they are here until the process of buying their next home is complete.

Of course, when two families merge and share one full bathroom, it’s a bit challenging. But the fulfilling parts of being together far outweigh the minor inconveniences.

John and Jess love to cook whereas Jim and I, after years of it, could honestly care less. Previously resigned to simple meals, we now eat gourmet dinners practically every night. Wonderful fried fish, marinated chicken kebobs, pork medallions, creative vegetables, and delicious burgers. It’s truly been wonderful.

But the true bonus of living together is the joy of Penny. It is almost like experiencing my grandson and daughter (who lived with us for many years) all over again. Yes, at my age there are trying moments. There’s less alone time, more noise, endless toys. However the treasure of so much “small child” time is truly priceless.

For the first couple of weeks after their arrival, Penny and I would be up before anyone else. We’d take my coffee and her milk outside and watch the sun come up. We’d sit there, leaning against each other, and do very little. I figured she was tired so sometimes we didn’t even talk. Penny had witnessed weeks of packing and piles of boxes. Sometimes we just sat on the front porch, floating in a swing I had previously, barely used. Each of us with frosty bowls of strawberry ice cream, the joy of these moments is indescribable.

Penny has reminded me of the wisdom that nothing is really that important. She likes to take her time- what’s the rush after all?- and languish by dancing, singing, or talking to Jordan, our pet. Penny makes us all slow down. Discoveries can be made daily and she has marveled over the simplest things- butterflies, ants, flowers, bees, and birds.

I’m grateful for this time with my granddaughter that may never come again. If I’m feeling a moment of impatience, I only need to think of what it will be like when Penny has moved into her new house. That brings me back to the place I need to be.

“I do not understand the mystery of grace — only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.”
― Anne Lamott

Join me at my first signature event- Refill Your Cup! I’m so excited to gather with such a great group of speakers and vendors, to encourage rest and relaxation. Here’s the LINK.

March 31, 2019March 31, 2019

Mom’s 90th Birthday in Siesta Key Florida

Mom’s 90th Celebration in Siesta Key. Lots of family!

It was an event a year in the making. When we left Siesta Key in 2018, my mom began talking about her 90th birthday celebration.

For an entire year, we discussed every possible scenario. Should we have appetizers including Greek specialties, such as spanankopita or tiropita? Maybe we should keep it simple and just do cake and champagne? Or should we go all out and make dinner, serving pastichio, salad, and pitas?

The conversations were endless. Mom and I would have them in the car, at her house over coffee, and on the phone. At some point, we settled on champagne and cake. Then a few weeks before we were to leave, there were suddenly more options. Rent the community center, get a bouzouki player, get a caterer. In the end, mom made the final decision.

She wanted to have it in our beautiful condo. We had plenty of room and a screened lanai. My sisters made (from scratch) spanakopita and tiropita. They also did all of the shopping and created small plates of hummus, pita, kalamata olives, and feta cheese. They made a big salad and had two different kinds of pastichio. Cally decorated. Mary hung balloons.

There was debate over a cake. Cally checked with a bakery and a tiered cake was quite pricey. It was decided that we’d get three different Pepperidge Farms cakes. Mom is a huge PF fan. For almost every occasion, birthday or otherwise, mom will get a Pepperidge Farm cake. We decided on white confetti, lemon, and chocolate fudge flavors.

Before the big day, Mary contacted most of our cousins, asking if they’d be in Siesta Key during our stay. As it turned out, there were more than 20 of us there at the same time. It was simply magnificent.

There was laughter, happiness, singing, and eating. The champagne flowed. My cousin Steven created a beautiful book for mom with vintage pictures. Everyone had a wonderful time and we all have many treasured memories.

Near the end of our second week in Siesta Key, we were on the beach and noticed a wedding was being set up behind us. Lo and behold, the ceremony began and afterwards, the whole bridal party walked down the beach right past us! They stood in front of us, posing for the photographer. My sister Mary asked if Ashley (the bride) would take a picture with mom and she obliged! It was another magical moment.

I think we’ll be talking about this vacation for years to come. The memories we made there, the experiences of being together with family, are simply priceless.

Here’s the photography from the party and the wedding!

Getting ready for the party! What would we do without Aunt KC?

The Stunning Flowers (from Trader Joe’s!)

September 1, 2018

Beach Mornings

I have been in the most beautiful seaside town for the past week- Emerald Isle, North Carolina. It is through the graciousness and benevolence of friends that I am here.

It had been a few years since I spent time with the Atlantic Ocean. Though I went to Nantucket a couple of years ago, it was too cold to wade in. When I go to Siesta Key (Florida) in March, I’m on the gulf side.

Having been raised on vacations in Ocean City, Maryland, the Atlantic Ocean is like an old friend. The sound of the waves and salty air are familiar. When I stick my toes in the warm sand, it’s as if I’ve come home.

On this vacation, I left my family behind. It’s a relatively new experience for me. There’s no one to take care of here (really) other than myself. I’m aware of trying to be a help- making breakfast, setting up a pot of coffee, loading and unloading the dishwasher, etc- but it is not mandatory. I’ve chosen not to go out to dinner a few times, embracing the peace and quiet that’s left behind.

Dare we (who are so busy) strip away our responsibilities on purpose? Who are we when we are not mothering, working, worrying, anticipating, or stressing? We are wrapped around our identities like the wrapper on a lollipop. It’s a challenge to strip that away, let ourselves relax, and enjoy the nothingness of vacation.

Getting up at the crack of dawn to see the sun rise is challenging. Yes, when we set no alarm clock the temptation to sleep in is oh, so strong. I did get up early several times, mainly because I normally do; I’m a rooster who likes to be up with the sun. One morning, I sat on the deck with my coffee, eagerly awaiting the dawn. As the first rays began to appear, I couldn’t resist the tug to get down on the beach. The first time, I was dressed in only pajama shorts (with watermelons on them no less) and a Bette Midler t-shirt. I said to my friend John, “No one will care how I look.”

It was profoundly quiet except for the sound of the waves. As I watched the sun come up, a feeling of being one with God came over me. No one and nothing else, in those few moments, mattered. It was just me and my creator. I wasn’t afraid. I was silenced and humbled by the simple magnificence of what I was witnessing.

I started walking and met a 5 month old yellow lab and his mom. DJ was very interested in me and let me pet the top of his head. A man with a tripod and camera was setting up a shot with a conch shell and a starfish. I thought, “Buddy, you are missing the point.” The sunrise was so gorgeous and I hope he took the time to notice it.

I probably have fifty sunrise and sunset pictures at this point. Laughing, I tried to eliminate a few but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Each one is slightly different. I love them all.

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Have you made your getaway plans yet? I hope you do!

Love from the beach,

Joanne xo

July 6, 2018July 6, 2018

Open Your Windows

Most mornings I have been opening the windows in every room in my house. A few months ago, a good friend of mine told me she opens her windows every day for twenty minutes. Mind you, she told me this in the dead of winter and (no kidding), I tried it a couple of times. I shut the heat off and opened the windows.

It was exhilarating to say the least!

My friend Daleen told me this practice exchanges stale air for clean air and I can believe it. I have asthma and the winters are hard on me. I’ll try anything that can help me breathe.

Now that summer is here, it’s definitely easier to practice this concept. It’s been very hot here (for Pittsburgh that is), around 90 degrees, so I have to open the windows as early as I can. But even this little bit of time feels beneficial.

My favorite thing about this “window time” is hearing the birds sing. They chirp their delightful melodies, over and over again. It never gets old. My daughter bought me the coolest bird house for Christmas and there’s a small bird nesting in it. I’m not sure what the variety is (a wren?), but its song is so sweet.

If it’s raining when I open my windows, that’s a bonus. I love the sound of rain.

In addition to opening windows, I love taking the time to be outside in the morning. My friend Cathy came for a visit a couple of weeks ago. Three out of four mornings together we sat outside, in unmatched plastic lawn chairs, and had our coffee. I donned my old straw hat from Hydra, Greece, a relic from ten years ago, and a necessity for bright Pennsylvania mornings.

So, picture this. A warm, bright sun. Two women, sipping coffee, sitting in old chairs, watching this small brown bird going in and out of a cool birdhouse. Me in my old hat, Cathy in her colorful beach caftan. Yes, I am lucky and blessed. We talk and talk about anything and everything. That is really some priceless stuff.

I think that opening my windows and connecting with nature is a deeply spiritual thing. It is a chance to touch base with God and be inside of myself. Sometimes I turn music on but most of the time I’m content to revel in the quiet. I try and keep my efforts to a minimum in those moments. That time is really for me.

I think this window practice can be done by anyone. Obviously, all you need is a window, or an outdoor spot, and a willingness. Exchanging the air can only be a good thing; fresh air is for everyone. I notice that if I add outside time to my window ritual, my day can take on a whole new meaning.

“Open the window of your mind. Allow the fresh air, new lights and new truths to enter.”
― Amit Ray, Walking the Path of Compassion

April 15, 2018

Another Day in Paradise

Just in case you think the person in the picture above is me, well, it’s not. I wish it was but (sigh), it is not.

I went to Florida for a week this year but it was chilly. I already had a cold and I’m probably the one who subsequently gave a cold to my sister and my mother. Mom spent three weeks recovering (she still is) and it was a bit scary. She rallied for Easter and (whew!) I breathed a sign of relief.

I remember having a friend who, whenever I complained about how things were going, he’d say, “You’re living in paradise, you just don’t know it.” I’ve thought of this many times and wow, it can really change my perspective.

Sometimes when things are getting me down, I go back to the basics. I have a warm house, food in the refrigerator, a family that loves me, and we have the ability to pay our bills. Even though these things seem like life in general, there are many around the world who do not have these simple luxuries.

About eleven years ago, Jim and I went to the Riviera Maya, Mexico with seven other friends. It was Jim’s 50th birthday and he signed up for many excursions. So did his friends. I did not because frankly, I was scared to leave the safety of the compound we were on. Never mind that these were sanctioned excursions; I was still scared.

A few years later we went on a Princess Cruise to the Caribbean. Determined not to be such a wallflower, I signed up for the Rays and Reef excursion with everyone else in our party. Little did I realize that we’d be out on a boat, in the middle of the gorgeous blue water in Grand Cayman Islands. The Australian guy-in-charge gave us the low down, mate. We’d get into waist high water and these (supposedly) gentle sting rays would swim around our ankles. Afterwards, there would be snorkeling in the coral waters.

Everyone got out of the boat except me. Now if you think I’m a brave person think again. My mother has drilled safety first into me since I was born (she still tells me to look both ways when I cross the street). All I could see was me being the first person to get whipped by a stingray and die on this excursion.

Finally, after everyone was in the water for a good few minutes, I decided that wimp city was over. I went off the boat and into the water. I remember being scared for about a minute then the fear was gone. The beauty of the surroundings, coupled with the love of my friends, relaxed me. I let those rays swim all around my ankles.

The bonus of this was the snorkeling. If you’ve never snorkeled, it needs to be on your bucket list. Wow, the fish were so colorful and gorgeous. I hope I get to do it again in my lifetime.

Even when things seem not exactly perfect, we can rally and realize the paradise we are really in. Remember your blessings and count them.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
― Epicurus

I did it! Jo and Jim in the Grand Cayman Islands.

August 15, 2017

Decluttering : It’s Just Stuff

I grew up in a pretty clean house. My mom was an “at home” mother until I went to college and she loved a neat and tidy home. We were never made to run the sweeper, do dishes (back in the days before dishwashers), laundry, or anything like that. She said when we got older we’d have enough housework.

When I went away to college I needed to do laundry so I went to a coin operated laundromat. I was so spoiled I had to ask someone to show me how to use the washer. One day I left a new pair of Wrangler jeans washing in the New Ken laundromat and went back to my half duplex one block away. When I returned they were gone. Someone must have really wanted them if they took them soaking wet.

I don’t remember being really neat in college or when I lived, single, in my Winebiddle Street apartment afterwards. I hated going to bed with dirty dishes on the counter (still do) so I made sure they were done. I did live in an old, old house that had been converted into one room effficiencies. One day I came home and my Free Spirit 10 speed bicycle was in the window sunlight. I looked and it was encased in a giant, intricate spider web. I don’t remember what I did about that but I probably wiped it down.

Once my babies were born, I remember launching into clean mode. I spent way too much time worrying about how clean my house was. With my first, I went back to work. With my second, it no longer made sense to give day care my salary so I stayed home and became a plastics party queen. I loved a clean house back then even though I remember toys everywhere for a very long time.

Last night I went looking for a specific music CD and it was gone. So was my stack of probably 40-50 CD’s that were on a shelf in my guest bedroom closet. I had a flash of panic. My husband and daughter rented a dumpster about a month ago and cleaned out the house. I participated very little in this. I have been decluttering for at least four years, since I quit my full time job, and even before that so I felt very little need to join in.

The reality began to set in a minute later that my CD’s were GONE. I sent Jim a text in the hopes that he might know where they were. But I knew. Twenty years worth of music- Christmas, Greek, Rock and Roll- gone to a dumpster and a garbage dump somewhere. Good thing I had a couple of my favorites in the car.

Now if my husband threw these away, I don’t blame him. Yep, I don’t. Because I should have participated in this and honestly, he probably thought they were old CD’s of the kids that no one listened to anymore. In the process of looking through my closet (just in case they were in a box somewhere), I did find a treasure trove of children’s music that probably belonged to my grandson from 15 years ago. Those are going to Penny.

I will be sad for a couple of days but I will move on. Decluttering is a good feeling in the end. It is just stuff. I listen to music in the car occasionally, but most times I enjoy the quiet. I think I’ll be ok with that.

If you want to de-clutter and don’t know where to start, I recommend this book written by a friend. It’s awesome and will get you started. Restore Order, Restore Joy by Dorothy L. Clear.

Is there a clutter area in your house? How does it bother or not bother you?