Category: Love

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Thank you!

Artwork by Rae 02-01-81 – 06-06-09

Every afternoon when I leave work, my boss says “Bye! Thank you!”

When I make dinner for my grandson Gavin, he says “Thank you Nana!”

My husband Jim loves to open his sock drawer and find it filled with clean socks. He says “Thank you!”

It sounds like such a little thing but really when you think about it, it’s not. How many times a day do you say “Thank you”? I try and say it all day. Honestly, I say it to strangers in the supermarket, customer service people on the phone, the receptionist at the dentist office. I bet those are people who don’t hear “Thank you” much.

Princess Willow

My favorite way to hear “Thank you!” is when Amy’s granddaughter, Willow, will say Grace before a meal. It was her third birthday last week and I was there to share in the special occasion.

When we sat down at the table, we all held hands. Amy asked Willow if she would say the prayer. Willow’s face lit up and she said “Thank you!” with a big smile. It was a joy filled moment!

Many of my dear friends say that gratitude is the way to live a more peaceful life. I agree. I try and be grateful every day and I want to share that feeling with others. By saying “Thank you”, I appreciate what others do for me and I keep gratitude front and center. It may be hard to believe, but saying it in a heartfelt way and with a smile can change someone’s bad day to good.

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, I’d like to start a world wide movement to say “Thank You” more. I’m going to start right now by saying “Thank You!” to all my blogger friends, email subscribers, Twitter and Facebook fans who read my stories on a regular basis. You have no idea how much your comments, “Likes”, private emails and personal comments (when I get to see you!) mean to me. I love writing stories and I appreciate all your heartfelt support.

I think “Thank you” can be a pathway to peace of mind and a happy heart. Give lots of “Thank you’s” away and just watch how it changes  your life!

Are you with me? Say “Thank you!” a whole bunch today!

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Fall Into FOCUS

The Giving Tree

I had the privilege of chairing an event last week that surpassed all of my expectations. It was a beautiful event, one really worthy of mention.

It was a fundraiser for a mission center in one of Pittsburgh’s poorest neighborhoods, The Hill District. The FOCUS Pittsburgh center opened only fifteen short months ago and already it is transforming lives.

The guests who attended the evening were special, the doctors and directors who spoke held us spellbound. The donors who gave unselfishly were inspirational. My committee was amazing in their dedication to the planning and execution of the event.

Guests plucked leaves off The Giving Tree and donated activities for kids, snacks for backpacks, and medical supplies for the future clinic.  The silent auction tantalized us with jewelry, gift certificates and beautiful pictures. Everyone walked around with big smiles, happy to make new friends and greet old ones. And of course, there was some delicious food to munch on and enjoy too.

But the real show stealer that night were the people who have been positively impacted by the mission center. I don’t remember exactly how many came, maybe seven or eight. Plus a young child who stole my heart; I couldn’t resist hugging and kissing him, just for good measure.

When Paul, the director of the Pittsburgh FOCUS center, introduced the mission center friends, the little boy’s mother was the first to speak. He held his mother’s hand while she told of her life before she discovered the center. The young mother was clearly pregnant and said she had contemplated abortion. When she found the center the people there embraced her and offered assistance. She kept thanking the center over and over. It was a profound experience for us all to be there and hear her story, their stories. It was an evening I will never forget.

Before I close, I have to tell you my absolute favorite part of the evening. It actually occurred before the event started. Paul was sitting with the guests from the center and suddenly he announced to them that I was the main reason the event was even happening. Those incredible friends jumped up, starting yelling “Thank you!!” and engulfed me in a giant hug, the likes of which I have never experienced. I said then, and I still say now, that was worth every moment of planning.

I believe we are all on a Mission of Grace and Love. We are here to make a difference, help others, and….to love one another.

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Anonymous Gifts

Big Heart of Art - 1000 Visual Mashups
Big Heart of Art – 1000 Visual Mashups (Photo credit: qthomasbower)

A few summers ago, Jim and I were driving to our summer vacation destination of Ocean City, Maryland.  We came upon the toll booth to the Bay Bridge in Maryland and as we inched our way up to pay the entry fee, Jim remarked (as he did almost every year) that if he’d have bought an EZ Pass, we wouldn’t have been waiting in a long, slow line.

When we got up to the toll booth, the booth employee said “The car in front of you has paid your toll…Have a nice day…”

I think we were momentarily speechless while we absorbed the fact that someone, who didn’t even know us, had been so generous as to pay for our toll…

Fast forward to a recent occurrence in which, as an event chairperson, I received a very generous check in the mail for an event I am helping to coordinate. When I called the donor to thank him, I asked him how he would like his sponsorship to read on the poster (that would be displayed on an easel as guests walked into the event). He said, “I wish to remain anonymous”.

I thanked him again and we hung up the phone. I felt amazed at the unselfish act I was just witness to.

I am lucky to know people who, day after day, do things out of the goodness of their hearts to “pay it forward”. Some have been given ample financial means and wish to share the fruits of their success with others. Others have been through troublesome times and have emerged, strong and faithful, and mean to help (with a full heart) to pay forward the gifts they have received.

But what about those who do things anonymously? This is another thing entirely in my book. I sense there is something ego-less, unselfish, and spiritually mature about this type of behavior. To do acts of loving kindness and generosity without announcement or fanfare, is truly something special in my eyes.

Though I do not have the means lately to be financially generous, I try to do anonymous acts daily that benefit others in small ways. I believe this to be a crucial part of my spiritual growth and maintenance. And, I really don’t have to spend much (or anything at all!). I can leave extra change as a tip, put money in parking meters, do a kind act for a stranger. No one sees me and I try and resist the urge to puff myself up and go telling on myself.

If I give an anonymous gift, I know what I did….and so does God. And really, that’s everyone who needs to know.

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Summer Gratitudes

There shall be eternal summer in the grateful heart.  ~Celia Thaxter

Labor Day is coming up this weekend and I always feel like it is the end cap to the summer. And though the first day of fall is still weeks away, I swear I can see the leaves starting to change before my eyes. I can hardly believe the summer is almost over.

How was your summer? Here in southwest Pennsylvania it was very hot, then very rainy, and now it’s just kind of perfect. The days are shorter (yes, always a bit depressing) and there is a chill at night and first thing in the morning. I don’t mind it necessarily; it is more comfortable with less heat and it’s much easier to sleep at night. Cooler weather is also perfect for little backyard campfires and toasted marshmallows!

Abundant Tomatoes!

I appreciate quite a few things about this summer. The first was the garden. Jim (my husband) and Michelene (my daughter), did a gorgeous job with the garden. We are still reaping tomatoes, eggplant, zucchini, onions, garlic and basil. I never get tired of tomatoes and will eat them sliced and salted as long as the garden will give them to me.

Ariel and Jordan!

My cousins came from New York and brought a few extra persons along. Josh, who is seven, delighted me with the way he hung on his grandpapa (Julio), kissed his cheek so adamantly and hugged him endlessly. Imani came too, a blessing from above, and it was so good to spend some time with her. I am always happy to see Christina, Julio and Ariel. God has really blessed me with a beautiful family.

There were some fun birthday parties tossed into the summer mix; Michelene’s landmark birthday and Cally’s tree house soiree. I made some new friends and embraced relatives I do not always get to see so often. This was one of the best parts of the summer.

Congratulations John!

My son John graduated with a computer science degree and I am really proud of him. I just know he is going to make some great employer very happy!

There were some challenges too and that is always the case, isn’t it? We are getting over a loss and praying for the repair of a relationship. If we know deep in our heart that God loves us unconditionally, it is Grace that will help get us through the bumpy spots. Thank goodness we are not in charge of the universe. All we can do is pray and turn it over.

Last weekend the local township held its annual fair. I didn’t make it to the park in time to join my family, but I saw the ending night fireworks from the comfort of my own front yard. I had Jordan with me and she didn’t mind the noise a bit. As we sat on the lawn, in darkness, my heart was overflowing with love for my full life and gratitude for a summer well lived.

Farewell Summer of 2012!
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Gifts from my Grandmother

Yiayia In Her Busy Kitchen

If God had intended us to follow recipes,
He wouldn’t have given us grandmothers.
~Linda Henley

The older I get, the more I appreciate my grandmother. Though she has been gone a long time, my memories of her lately are stronger than ever. And more and more, I realize the great gifts she gave me that are very much a part of me.

Whenever I cut a good tomato, fresh from the garden, I think of my Yiayia. My grandfather always put in a big garden and by August, there were plenty of fresh vegetables to be had. Yiayia would make summer salads with her beautiful leaf lettuce and lots of those really red tomatoes.

I love having Basil around!

She also loved fresh basil and would frequently cut a small piece to put behind her ear. She’d walk up from her garden, the basil leaves facing front and she’d have a big smile on her face. I think she just loved the smell of it and liked keeping it close to her. These days, I love basil and we frequently grow a couple of big basil plants every summer. Rubbing the leaves between my fingers and smelling the fresh scent is one of my favorite things to do. I don’t remember if Yiayia cooked with her basil (I imagine she did!) but I love to snip up the leaves and put fresh basil on everything from roasted vegetables to green salads.

As with most grandmas, Yiayia was an excellent cook. She made everything from scratch, mixing most ingredients together with her hands. She had a big ceramic ware bowl she would use to make Greek avgolemeno soup. As a young child, she would let me use her hand held rotary beaters and I’d beat those chicken eggs to a frothy yellow. She’d have homemade chicken broth with rice all ready to go, and we’d add my yellowy beaten eggs to the hot broth just a little bit at a time. She’d finish it off with some lemon juice and the result would be a smooth, slightly lemony chicken soup that was just out of this world. I don’t ever remember seeing a recipe written down for it; I’m sure she didn’t need one.

Holidays were a big deal to her. At Christmas and Easter she’d roast a leg of lamb and do all the fancy sides: Greek oregano potatoes sliced longways into quarters and baked in the oven, a big salad with tomatoes and feta cheese, Easter bread with a red hard boiled egg baked right into it, little black eyed peas drizzled with olive oil and lemon. There was always amazing food at her table during the holidays.

I think the most important gift my Yiayia gave me was her example of what hospitality should be. When you had dinner at her house, she pulled out all the stops. The linen tablecloth and napkins came out, her most beautiful serving pieces and china were polished and displayed, candles were lit. I can remember numerous times when the table would be so full with multiple selections of food, we hardly had a place to eat!

It it really those great times, those “eating” times, that make me realize how lucky we really were. To have had her among us, teaching us all those traditional things that to her came so easily….what a gift!

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Keeper of the Secrets

There was a time, long ago when I was not so great at keeping confidences. Actually, I was terrible at it. I grew up (like all young women?) loving a good juicy secret, whether it was true or not. And sometimes the details were just too irresistible to check out thoroughly before I passed them along. Whether I could help myself or not, I managed to get a great deal of pleasure from talking about others’ problems and Good Lord, the mess these people made of their lives.

Meanwhile, I was the one later who had a mess of a life going on….

Enter my friends, the ones who I latched onto when I really set out to work on myself spiritually. These friends taught me to mind my own business and respect the privacy of others. It took some time but eventually I overcame the urge to talk about people behind their backs (or to their face!). This was nothing short of a miracle. And, I have to say, it’s hard work. I needed (and still need) to remember that talking about others devalues me, disrespects a confidence and if I think well enough of myself, I don’t need to talk down about others to build myself up.

While my friends were teaching me about privacy and respect of others, they taught me something about secrets. Through their own generous acts of respect, they listened to my secrets and kept them as confidences. This was another miracle. It was a great leap of faith to talk about things that I was keeping inside of me, things that threatened at times to seriously bring me down. But here they were, listening…..and loving me anyway….secrets and all.

The upside, the greatest reward to all of this is that people now trust me with their own secrets. They know when they tell me something intimate, it will not go any further than my own ears. This is God’s Great Grace, I believe, to have been given the gift of confidential and respectful listeners and then, to be able to pay it forward.  I gave my secrets to others and now, I have been chosen by a few close friends to be their Keeper of the Secrets.

So I listen to stories of troubled pasts from my comrades, bits and pieces that represent good (and not so good) portions of their lives. When I do this listening, I am silently loving and praying for them. They tell me their shortcomings and again, I love them anyway. Things they suffer from shame about, things they think no one could love them through… and yet I love them even more. I am not sure why this spiritual work has been given to me but perhaps I am not here to question it. My responsibility is to continue to love and accept unconditionally those who choose to confide in me.

This trust, this confidence speaks volumes to me. I will never, ever take it for granted. Again, it is an opportunity to pay back over and over the great gifts that have been given to me. The gifts my friends gave me so freely, way back when I knew not what their real value was.

“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”
― C.G. Jung

Thank you again to Cally Jamis Vennare, for these beautiful pictures!

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5 Things My Dad Taught Me

Boy, was he handsome!

What can I say about my Dad? He was many things to me- father, role model, confidante and best friend. In my earliest recollections of him and in pictures, he was a happy go lucky guy, a huge presence with a big voice and a firm handshake. Everyone knew him as “Big Mike”. He had many friends, he loved to dance and he knew how to have a good time.

Dad was 6’4″ tall, a BIG GUY and he and my mom together raised three daughters. This, I think, must have been his worst nightmare at times, as his parents were Greek immigrants and Greeks, in my opinion, are STRICT with their daughters! He was no exception to this fanatical rule.

Here are some special things I remember about my dad. When he finally gave me permission to go to the prom in eleventh grade, there were tears in his eyes (initially he told me NO), he brought a football to the hospital when my son was born (remember, he had three daughters), he took me to car auctions where we ate hot dogs and sauerkraut (my mom hated sauerkraut and never made it!). Also, he loved chocolate covered peanuts and bushels of hard shell crabs.

Here are the 5 most important things my Dad taught me:

1. Love people for who they are. My Dad sold cars made in Japan (Nissans) when they first came to the USA. He was a top turret gunner in the Air Force during WWII but he held no prejudices.

2. Live Life to the fullest. Work hard but play hard and enjoy yourself. Dad loved to invite his buddies over for loud Greek music, shots of Ouzo and midnight dancing in the living room.

3. Have integrity. I sold cars with him for a few years. Once, I made a bottom line deal on a car and the buyers pulled out a newspaper ad for $100 off any car. I was ticked. My Dad said, “Honor it”.

4. There is no substitution for good salesmanship. Dad would look people in the eye, compliment them and always find something of common interest to talk about. To this day, my sisters and I share this character trait and I know we got it from him.

5. Do what you say. If he told you he was going to be somewhere at a certain time, he was there. He did not go back on a promise. He taught us to be on time, be responsible and STEP UP.

Dad passed away 15 years ago on Father’s Day, 1997. When I tell people this it always brings forth a sad comment. But at that time, I saw his humor in choosing that day to go. I could just picture him saying, “You’ll not forget me now!” Truly Dad, that would be impossible.

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A Hug of Grace

I grew up around my Greek grandma, my yiayia, who loved to give triple kisses. She would lean down, grab my head, turn my cheek to her lips and fire off three rocket-like kisses in a row. Then she’d mutter something sweet in her native Greek language and you knew you were really something special.

When I went to Greece, everyone there kissed you on both cheeks, whether they knew you or not. Usually they added a hug as well. No wonder the Greeks are known for their warm hospitality.

In this age of social media and detached conversations, I wonder if people are still touching, still hugging and kissing? And I mean in a friendly, I LOVE YOU, kind of way.

Beautiful Babies
Beautiful Babies

Last week, I read a story and saw a picture on the internet (which actually turned out to be from 1995) that almost stopped my heart. It was an image of two very small twins and one had her arm around the other. Apparently the one twin had not been doing well and a nurse fought to put the other twin in the incubator with the ailing one. When placed together, the one stronger twin swung her arm over the other more fragile one. The fragile baby stabilized and lived. I think this speaks volumes about the power of touch. Touch has the power to heal, to say I care about you, or even to say I’m with you on this.

These days, touching can be greatly misconstrued. It is a sad state of affairs sometimes when it’s done for the wrong reasons or when it gets out of hand. But I still believe in a warm embrace, a loving hug, a kiss bestowed as a valentine. I believe that we as humans crave touch, yearn for closeness and wish for connection. Hugs and kisses are an expression of our innate yearning to bond with our fellow human beings.

My husband Jim and I are cuddlers. Even now, while I’m still on the last edges of menopause, I lean against him in bed or touch my hot feet to his cool ones! Thankfully, he is a hugger and loves to snuggle.

Recently, Jim needed a small surgery on his knee. It was outpatient surgery and I hung out in the waiting room until they told me I could go sit with him. He was very groggy from the anesthesia so I didn’t say much. I sat down on the chair next to his bed and softly laid my hand on top of his. Sitting patiently, I waited for him to come around. I knew just touching his hand spoke volumes and words were not really necessary.

A touch, sometimes, is all it really takes.

Thanks to WordPress, for giving me an opportunity to show off one of my favorite posts!

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The Power of a Journey

I love a good lump in your throat kind of movie. You know the kind I mean. When you begin to watch it, you just know something sweet is going to unfold. Maybe a good lesson on faith, love or forgiveness.

Cover of "Field of Dreams (Widescreen Two...
Cover via Amazon

There are a few movies that inspire and give me that lump in my throat. They are the movies I can watch over and over and never tire of. Field of Dreams is one of them. In it, Kevin Costner embarks upon a journey of self discovery. Through the building of his cornfield ball park, meeting and finding old baseball pros, he finally sees the purpose of it all when his young father turns around at home base. The golden nugget is the chance, the opportunity to heal his troubled relationship with his father.

Last night, I went to see Salmon Fishing in the Yemen. Lest you are thinking about reading no further, hear me out. I absolutely loved it.

I remember seeing trailers for SFITY, twisting up my face and wondering what the heck is someone thinking? A movie on salmon fishing??? Then a few days ago, I read a positive review of the movie, intriguing me enough to make me want to go.

So go I did and wow, was I impressed. I also realized what a grown up I have become because even though this movie has gorgeous characters, a lusty love plot, unbelievable scenery (it’s the Yemen!), and lots of gutsy acting (Kristen Scott Thomas), I was so caught up in the MESSAGE.

The local Sheik wants to bring salmon fishing to the Yemen. Everyone, including the expert fishing pro they choose for the job, thinks he is nuts. The Sheik persists and says Do you have faith? to the expert. The expert is all about scientific research, dull boring stuff, but fishing is not about science, insists the Sheik . Fishing is about Faith, Fishing is about Patience, he says.

So the journey begins to bring water to the desert, bring the salmon to the Yemen. You wonder if they all begin to get alittle crazy with the idea but deep down, it’s faith. They start to believe in the dream. They overcome adversity several times and persist in their journey to a dream.

The lump in my throat started early in the movie. I know that happens when I can feel a spiritual experience coming on. I love the Sheik; he is full of wisdom, calm and grace. He shows us all the power of the journey, the walk towards enlightenment. I have a feeling that this movie will be one of those that I will want to watch over and over again.

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Laughing at Myself

You grow up the day you have the first real laugh….at yourself.

Ethel Barrymore

I have done some silly stuff lately.

One chilly morning this winter, I was outside cleaning the snow off my car. When I came into the house, my glasses fogged up immediately after hitting the warmth of my mud room. I ran into the kitchen, thinking I had left the oven on.

In an event just yesterday, my boss said to me (from another room), Do you think Jim would go to Mastermind with you? What I heard was, Do you think Jim would go to Mass with you tomorrow? (I’m not Catholic!)

Lucy watches Little Ricky's birthday party fro...
Lucille Ball- She was funny! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As I get older and (hopefully) wiser, I also seem to be becoming more funny. Maybe it is just that I am funny to myself, but no, I seem to be funny to others as well.

The deterioration of my hearing especially is enabling my funnyness. I know I’m going to need to get it checked, but the reality of that is well, I am not ready to deal with the reality of that (or the expense of a hearing aid).

I don’t know why people get so upset when others laugh at them. I see it as a special grace when we can love ourselves despite what others think (or don’t think) of us. When I was a manager, my employees loved to imitate me back to myself. Sometimes, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

I used to think that EVERYONE needed to like/love me. I was such a people pleaser. I realize now that is the impossible dream. The older I get the more I realize that hey, not everyone is gonna like me. That is ok with me. I will tell you this- the deeper my relationship to God, the less it matters what others think. I like myself and what others think of me is really none of my business.

I know deep inside the kind of person I strive to be. Funny yes. Also- caring, loving, thoughtful, forgiving, huggy and kissy. Yes, that is what I want to be.

So laugh if you will. I’m laughing along with you!

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