Category Archives: Commitment

The Differences Between Us

Jim and I in beautiful Nantucket, Fall of 2016

The relationship of husband and wife should be one of closest friends. B.A. Ambedkar

*This post has been so popular I updated it a bit on February 13, 2017

Jim and I will be married 36 years this coming May. The picture above is one of my new favorites, snapped in Nantucket during time away last fall. Though we’ve been married that long, my husband and I are often like night and day. Oil and vinegar. Fire and water. But somehow, it works. We work. We are still a work in progress.

This is a good example of our differences. When I am driving, I anticipate when I will need to get off at an exit. Usually I move over into the correct lane way ahead of time, probably 1-2 miles before. I don’t have to worry about crossing over large amounts of traffic or missing the exit. I like to play it safe.

Jim will be in the same situation and he will not worry about moving over until he is a half mile from the exit. He will need to cross over two lanes of traffic but so what? Even if someone won’t let him by, he will get over somehow. (and he will complain about the guy that didn’t let him over!)

This kind of stuff used to drive me crazy. But if you’ve been married a long time you know. You choose your battles and ask yourself “how important is it?”

Jim has a counter top in the kitchen where he puts all of his stuff. Papers, pencils, change, you name it. I have my stuff concealed in drawers and desks. His counter top used to drive me nuts. It doesn’t anymore. I hardly notice it.

His garage is the same way. A clutter. But he and his brothers can usually find what they are looking for. I’d love to go and organize it for them but I bet they’d have a meltdown. How would they find anything?

I can just about figure out where Jim has been and what he has done in any given day by the trail he leaves behind. Candy wrappers, hammers, pliers. I have to admit I’m guilty of the same thing myself sometimes. It’s just easier to look at someone else’s mess and point the finger. 😉

I’m a taskmaster, an administrative guru. I have file folders for bills and a place for receipts. Jim can usually not find a crucial paper unless it’s on that cluttered counter. Years ago, he would ask me where I put it. Now he asks me if I’ve seen it.

Jim is really the cream in my coffee and the dots on my i’s. Though many years have passed and we have seen our share of good and bad, we are a team. I never think that he doesn’t love me; he adores me in fact and that love is what keeps us together.

It is worth the time and energy to make a relationship work. I love weddings and the thought of forever after. It takes two to tango though and that’s the truth. Thank you Jim, for the willingness to tango.

JimandJo

Please follow and like us:
849

I Got Married on Mother’s Day!

JimandJo2

My maternal grandparents had come from Stockdale, Pennsylvania. My godparents had arrived from Charleston, South Carolina.

The night before our wedding, my father and uncles roasted a lamb, Greek-style, on a spit in the back yard. My mom, aunts, and grandparents prepared spanakopita, stuffed grape leaves, greek salad with feta cheese and a host of other yummy dishes, and of course Greek cookies like finikia, baklava and diples. There was Greek music and line dancing in our big basement. (The Greeks really know how to get ready for a wedding. There is lots of merriment, dancing, eating, and drinking!)

I remember when I told my first boss, Bob at Heritage Floral, that I wanted to get married on Mother’s Day, May 10, 1981. He almost had a melt down! I forgot it was the biggest floral day of the year! Bob finally calmed down when I told him I wanted white silk roses in my bouquet and my bridesmaids’. Silk flowers were the big thing back then. There were real flowers on the reception tables of course and Bob did a spectacular job. Having silk flowers made it easier for Bob to do the bouquets ahead of time, a great time saver in this case!

Jim and Jo CrownsMy wedding was fabulous. Have you ever been to a Greek Orthodox wedding? It is very beautiful and symbolic. My favorite part is the exchanging of the crowns, or Stefana, which symbolizes the unity of the couple and presence of Christ who blesses and joins the couple. The Stefana are exchanged three times, back and forth, by the godparent and this symbolizes a sealing of the union. I still have my crowns to this day and actually had them framed; they are real beauties.

The reception was downstairs in our church hall. Family friends catered the dinner and I swear, everyone had a half chicken on their plate! Greek dancing began shortly after and during the first dance, my father showered us with dollar bills for good luck. My little cousins (who I thought would keep the money!) swept up all the change and bills and that is what we honestly used for spending money while on our honeymoon at Peak N’Peek resort.

The reason I wanted to get married on Mother’s Day was because it was exactly one year to the day that I met Jim. When I asked my priest, Father John, if it was ok to be married on Mother’s Day, he said yes. At our ceremony, I remember him saying it was a day to honor all women and was a fitting day for a wedding.

By the following year on my first anniversary, I was pregnant with my daughter Michelene. She as born on August 7, 1982. My son John came a few years later on January 9, 1986.

The significance of Mother’s Day as a wedding day has never been lost on me. I love being a mother to two beautiful kids and a grandmother to Gavin. I have been blessed with a great husband who has been willing to do the hard work of staying together. It has not always been easy but we have persisted through the good times and the not so good.

I believe the secret to a long relationship is respect. And a dedication to love and cherish the other person, no matter what. Being a mom is just the bonus to a good marriage.

JimandJo

Happy Mother’s Day to you, my beloved friend! Have a wonderful day!

 

Please follow and like us:
849